Heres What You’re Like As A Novia According To Your Sign

Most Latinas have this unspoken ritual of reading their daily horoscope before leaving the house every morning – or watching Walter Mercado every evening. Whether you believe in horoscopes or not, your sun sign says a lot about the kind of girlfriend you are…

Aries: Intense & Passionate


Your partner better be ready to deal with a full-blooded, independent, forceful woman. Whoever wants to catch this woman better put on their running shoes — it’ll be one hell of a race! Aries embodies “las mujeres son complicadas” to a tee. You want freedom and absolute togetherness at the same time – even if you don’t know what it means. Celosa is an understatement when it comes to you, but it has nothing to do with lack of confidence, you just love to have the entire cake for yourself.

Taurus: Seductive, Yet Traditional


Your killer smile and sensual attitude might have people thinking you’re fácil, but are they wrong. You won’t take being anyone’s second choice or one night stand, you aim to be a lifetime, caring and giving companion, and will not settle for less than the number one spot. Your prospective partner better be ready to woo you and pursue you, even though you probably have your mind made up since the first time you saw this person.

Gemini: You Already Know What They Call You…


You have a multi-dimensional personality – which can be confused for being two-faced. On one hand, you want to be adored, admired and cared for, but the stronger side of you yearns for stimulation and novelty. Atrapar tu corazón is hard task, most potential partners will become dull in your eyes faster than they can say “buenos días.”

Cancer: Timid, But Low-key Sensual


You’re shy, sweet, yet never very forward. You send a couple of subtle signals when you like someone, but will not do much more, you’re too protective of yourself to deal with potential rejection. You look for a partner that’ll give you love and security – so you start planning the kind of house you want to live in. If he dares mess with you, you will never fully trust that sucker again.

Leo: Queen Of The Jungle


You’re perfect, and anyone who states otherwise is estúpido. Most praise you, admire you and shower you with applause when you’re around. You don’t like to lose, so you’d rather not get into the race. If your potential partner so much as expresses his interest for another woman, it’s boy bye.

Virgo: Logical & Perfectionist


People who don’t really know you think your corazón is as cold as ice. It’s not that you don’t have feelings, it’s more like you find no use for them. You take your sweet time to choose a partner because you hate failure above everything else and because your partner needs to be perfect. Whoever wants to be with you will require a lot of patience.

Libra: You’re In Love With Love


You view seduction as an art form, and people might take you for a flirt just because you love to socialize. You could be a protagonista de novela, as your love life is filled with intense emotions and drama. You can’t deal with the concept of being single forever, but it’s difficult for you to commit to a real relationship. You’re a creative, but often times lazy lover. ¡El amor is such hard work!

Scorpio: Demanding & Jealous


Whoever is thinking about having you as la otra, can turn around now. You’re not one for sharing, neither are you interested on being anyone’s one night stand. You’re extremely possessive and jealous, but your partners would agree it’s worth the while. You can drive people mad… and bring them back to live with a single sonrisa.

Sagittarius: Adventure Seeker


Whether it’s jumping off a cliff into the deep waters of the sea or taking a last minute trip to Mexico, you crave adventure and treat your love life as such. You’re pretty positive, but hate people who try to domesticate you. If things aren’t working out for you, it’s quite easy for you to say adiós. You yearn for an adventure companion but unlike other signs, love is not the end goal of your life.

Capricorn: Extreme Romantic


Aunque la gente no lo crea, it’s hard for people to imagine you being all passionate and extravagant, but that’s your true nature. El amor a primera vista is as real to you as a pink unicorn. You want someone who will love you and cherish you BUT you will not come near him until you’re done watching his every single move from a safe distance. They better not try to fool you, either — you will take your sweet time until the mask drops.

Aquarius: You Just Do You


You know how most people would put out an impeccable facade of perfection when they first start dating? What a waste of time! You are not a macho’s trophy and will not follow any lead, but your own. Te vale madres what the rest of the world thinks, you’re unpredictable and that’s that.

Pisces: Total Dreamer

You’re mysterious and you know it. This drives potential partners on an unstoppable quest to figure you out. Your natural softness and innocence makes others want to protect you and care for you. Eres pura sensibilidad and will quickly look for an exit if what you hear or see doesn’t sit right with your gut. A strong, decisive and protective man will be your perfect match. To you, love is a top priority and anyone who puts you second to, say, a love for fútbol, will not get far with you.

READ: Types Of Latino Boyfriends We’ve All Dated

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It’s Leo Season: Here’s How You’ll Go Broke Based Off Your Zodiac Sign


It’s Leo Season: Here’s How You’ll Go Broke Based Off Your Zodiac Sign

Praise be, with mercury’s retrograde behind us, we’re looking straight ahead to celebrating Leo in all its fiery glory. The retrograde has just rained twelve levels of emotional basura down upon us and Leo is going to burn it all up. We’re stepping out of the depths of emotional mierda and letting our strange selves be set free, thanks to Leo.

We’re here for all the self-care our hearts need, and after such a trying month behind us, and indulgent Leo egging us on, we’re all about to go broke. Here’s how you will.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

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We’re feeling turned around after Mercury in retrograde and want to feel safe again. Taurus, you might be feeling like now’s the time to invest in that home security system and you’re right.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

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Virgo, we know that by telling you this, you’re going to feel obligated to buy it, but that’s the point. You would need to buy this Ezy Dog $99 seatbelt harness for your dog because you know it’s the only crash tested harness that will actually protect your baby in the case of an emergency. Earth signs, we’re here for security.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

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All the earth signs are going to be looking for ways to ground themselves, especially after the chaos of yester-season. My fellow Capricorns, we are laughably practical in how we spend our money, but it speaks to what makes us feel good–by grounding into the earth. I already bought four pair of shoes this week, hbu?

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

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Leo has you feeling ready to create the life you’ve always wanted to have. You’ve had an international trip on your mind, and you know what, there’s no time like the present. Pull the trigger and buy that flight to Colombia, girl.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

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Feliz cumple, Leo! This your time to shine, and the stars are making it so that you get the most bang for your buck. Throw yourself that party. Go on that weekend cruise. Celebrate every version of yourself you’ve brought to your birthdays and toast to next year’s.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

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Sagittarius, you’re such a giving soul, and Leo just brings out the extravagance of generosity in you. You’ve wanted to take your mama back to Cuba for a minute. Do it.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

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For you, dear Cancer, indulgence is best spent shared. You’re on the verge of going broke to share an emotional connection and special memory with your partner. 

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

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It may sound too on-the-nose, Scorpio, but both you and Capricorn are feeling the kink in the air. We don’t need to tell you to be sex-positive. We’re just giving you a heads up that you about to go broke on a sex toy subscription box. : P 

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

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Sweet Pisces, your heart is so full this Leo season, and only you could offer the love and care a special needs animal requires. We think you’re about to go broke paying medical bills for that special three-legged turtle in your life.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

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Gemini, this season could go one of two ways. You’re either about to drop money on a couple kegs and throw a party, or this political season has you wanting to invest in the future. If it’s the latter, may we suggest the Trans Latina Coalition because you know justice is intersectional and trans Latina immigrants are at high risk.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

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Dear Libra, this season, Leo won’t have you stray too far from what you know. Libra would go broke buying VIP tickets to the work convention they’ve always needed to elevate their networking game.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

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Aquarius, there’s no doubt about it. You’re going to invest in the stars by actually buying one and naming it after yourself. 😂

Here Are The Latino Sodas You Need To Try Based On Your Zodiac Sign


Here Are The Latino Sodas You Need To Try Based On Your Zodiac Sign

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While the rest of society is tapping into how nature is a significant signaler to our emotional and spiritual needs, Latinos grew up finding meaning in every change in the wind, and every dream. We’re superstitious AF, but we’re also highly in tune with nature.

We’re also chugging soda and eating Goya beans from a can because it’s 2019 and we have full-time jobs and three other gigs to get to. Whatever you have on your plate today, these zodiac-aligned sodas are destined to be more effective for you, hijo de las estrellas.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

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Honey, the arrangement of the stars this summer is signaling you to stay off the ‘gram. Get away from social media and get out of your head. There’s nothing like a sweet, tropical Jupiña to take with you to the beach or mountains.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

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Taurus’s are often misunderstood as lazy, but the fact is that you are more in touch with your self and your needs than any other sign. You’re free from the shame of indulging as an act of self-love. So when you have a Malta, you definitely add condensed milk to it to maximize the effects of every self-treat. Plus, it reminds you of drinking Malta as a niño and feeling like you could kick your feet up with the beer-drinking adults.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

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You’re represented by celestial twins–signifying a range of meanings, primarily to represent your many interests. The story goes that the goddess had so many passions, she doubled herself to get it all done. Cuba’s Iron Beer hasn’t decided whether it’s root beer or cream soda, and that’s because, like you, it can be both. 

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

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This summer, your space is yours. Whether you’re staying home to reflect and refuel your tank or burning up that gasolina on the dance floor, Jarritos stay with you. Nourishing both your home realm and your social side will be important for you. Pro tip: spiked Jarritos is even better.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

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Leo, your allure could be spotted from a mile away. Inca Kola’s neon yellow bubble gum flavors will make you glow in the dark. Don’t play like that doesn’t sound like your dream.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

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The energies of the lunar eclipse in Capricorn is still inspiring productivity like never before in you, hermit. Topo Chico is not a soda, per se, but it is a bubbly drink that you can enjoy anytime. Whether you’re drinking it straight from the bottle at your desk or adding your favorite fruits, Topo Chico is the only bubbly you need to keep you in the zone.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

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Ooh, Libra, your summer is set to look very physically (read: so much sex) active. You always have many people vying for your attention, but as you work on building trust with your chosen partner, you’re going to need to hydrate. Materva is brewed with mate leaves, giving you a bit of caffeine (alongside 40 grams of sugar, but who’s counting) to fuel your love life.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

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Like Mexican Coke, you, scorpion, have a cult following. But this month isn’t about what other people think of you. No matter the expectations of you, it’s time to turn inward and go back to old wounds that cause all the classic drama in your life. Don’t worry, when you let it go, you’ll still be a classic inside and out.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

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Travels are in your future, Sagittarius. There’s nothing more germane to its country of origin than Colombiana soda. Its bubble gum scented cream soda flavors will always remind you of the importance of honoring the place you visit.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

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Fellow sea goats–it has been un mes tan pesado. No te preocupes–instead of trying to find out where you fit, it’s time to realize you belong everywhere in this world. You’re not just a Mundet, you’re an elusive green apple cider. Embrace your individuality. It will set you free.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

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You, Aquarius, are in a humanitarian activist mode. With Puerto Rico’s police force firing tear gas and rubber bullets at protesters, PR’s favorite soda, Kola Champagne, will be fuel for your fire.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

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Our favorite water-lovers can take their game to the next level this summer with Coco Rico. This soda is here for you when you want to drink out of a coconut on the beach, but with more sugar and carbonation. It’s next-level water, básicamente.

READ: The Brief And Surprising History Of Tex-Mex Food That You’ve Never Heard

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