What It’s Really Like Being La Hermanita Menor

credit: MEMECENTER/ MATILDA/ TRISTAR PICTURES

Even though we grew up in an open-minded household, the relationship between my brother and me has been traditional in many ways. There is no denying that being la hermanita menor isn’t always the easiest of tasks.

1. For one, no man is ever going to be good enough for me.

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As far as my protective brother is concerned, the list of musts a potential novio has to have is endless, grows over time, and is subject to change without any sort of explanation or previous notice.

2. If you mess with me, my bro will kick your ass.

My brother’s about the chillest dude I know, but nothing is thicker than blood, and when it comes to la familia, hurting his little sister will most certainly free his inner narco.

3. I am my brother’s best friend’s “lil’ sister” by extension.

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Chances of ever dating my brother’s hot friends, getting wasted at a party with them, or messing with a boy when they’re around are non-existent.

4. He always “knows better.”

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Either because he’s lived longer, “been there, done that,” or simply because “yo lo digo.” (Mayor eye roll.)

5. I have some big shoes to fill.

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My big brother is like a shooting star, and I was never able to forget it. In fact, “mira a tu hermano” was probably mom’s favorite phrase when I was growing up.

6. He’s practically a surrogate parent.

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Mom is commander in-chief, no question, but my brother takes her spot when she’s not around. There is no way around that power equation.

7. There are a total of five baby pictures of me.

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The excitement of having a kid was mostly used up on my brother and his ever-so-glorious collection of professionally shot photographs.

8. I’m forever la bebita de la casa.

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And I will remain so until the day I die.

9. Growing up, I was dressed in boy’s hand-me-downs.

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This is before the term “vintage” was remotely cool and when my hair was so short everyone thought I was actually a boy. Thanks, bro.

10. I grew up convinced I was adopted.

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Older siblings are evil. Period.

11. My brother saw me as his little servant.

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Especially when he was hungover and had some dirt on me. >:(

That said…

12. I wouldn’t trade being my brother’s hermanita for anything.

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I couldn’t ask for a better hermano mayor.