Being 30 and single (or 20 for that matter) in a Latino family is no damn joke, especially as a woman. You’re expected to find yourself a good marido, get married and make as many babies as God sends. If you’re single, trust me, you’re not alone…
The first one to *blame* you for being single is your mother. According to her, you’re too damn picky.
Or you just happen to know you’re not going to settle for mediocre. Yet, she also dislikes every guy you bring around.
Abuela believes it in her heart you have been cursed.
Because how is it possible that her nieta hasn’t found a spouse?
Your cousin wonders of there’s something physically wrong with you.
Cuban-American pop star, Camila Cabello, has done it again, y’all. Twenty-two-year-old Cabello just released the two highly-anticipated singles from her new album, “Romance.” “I knew for a long time I wanted my album to be called Romance because these stories are about falling in love,” Cabello said in a statement. The two new songs, “Liar” and “Shameless”, are all about the obstacles we face in falling love–from the shame of Catholic guilt to feeling like a ‘liar,’ pretending you’re not falling in love.
Cabello also released a music video for “Shameless,” which has grown to 10 million views in less than 24 hours. For, recovering Catholics, it’s no secret why.
The video starts off with Cabello sorrowfully singing in a confessional booth.
“Don’t speak, no, don’t try / It’s been a secret for the longest time,” she sings. “Don’t run (Oh), no, don’t hide / Been running from it for the longest time.” The vast majority of Latinos grew up or identify as Roman Catholic. For many of us, we’re all too familiar with the confessional booths that prompted the guilt and shame for the “mortal sin” of lusting after a crush.
Cabello gets progressively more lusty while the Priestess remains stonefaced.
For one, never have we ever seen gender equality in the Priesthood of the Roman Catholic Church, so this simple change of scenery is significant. Still, Cabello seems to make the point that even if women are allowed in leading positions, the role still suppresses basic human desire as something worth confessing.
We get an intimate look inside Cabello’s ‘naked’ emotions that take her ‘out of her mind.’
“So many mornings I woke up confused / In my dreams, I do anything I want to you,” she sings, presumably about new bae, Shawn Mendes. “My emotions are naked, they’re taking me out of my mind.” Cabello and Mendes have been spotted holding hands in the street after many years of friendship. Just last week, Mendes cryptically confirmed that he was in a relationship, but that he can’t disclose any information out of respect for the other person. Obvi, that person is Camila Cabello.
Finally, Cabello is “shameless, screamin’ my lungs out for ya.”
“These songs are basically the story of my life the past couple years and the stories I’ve accumulated,” she said in a press statement. “I knew for a long time I wanted my album to be called Romance because these stories are about falling in love,” she added.
Then, the beat drops just as the sultriest line Cabello’s ever uttered makes its debut.
“Not afraid to face it, I need you more than I want to” she longingly sings. “It’s all over,” she belts, and she’s right. For those of us that didn’t save sex for marriage or God, we all remember that feeling. The gig is up, and the emotions are out of the box. “Show me you’re shameless” she begs of, let’s just say, Shawn Mendes. Then, Cabello’s sexiest line to date: “Write it on my neck, why don’t ya? And I won’t erase it“
The contrast between Cabello in white and her female crew in all red speaks volumes.
The first image of the video is of Cabello in a white dress, standing still in an empty street. By the end of the video, she’s running down the street, which is now lined with two rows of men with their backs to her. The role of the virgin is played out in the ‘pure’ white dress, alone in a street, chasing after her longings with no end in sight. Meanwhile, the women in the red dress symbolize the scarlet red of a woman whose gone after what she wants, only to be marked forever by it. the upside? Having a band of women who hold her up both lyrically, and physically in a stunning dance performance.
By the end of the video, Cabello sets fire to the confessional booth, symbolically burning down the binds of shame, so easily overcome by a fiery love.
We see Cabello’s curvy silhouette outlined by the fire that represents her love and passion for her newfound freedom and her love. Get it, Cabello. Muchas gracias for burning down the booth for us.
We all know what it’s like to mentally prepare to see family after you’ve moved away from home. You’re going to hear all of the “ay, que flaquita” and “¿y el novio?” questions all in one breath. Those are just the most common questions. We all know that it never ends there. People are going to ask you about your job a million different ways, and still not get it.
Of course, every single viejo is going to ask you why you’re still single. “Mejor sola que mal acompañada,” so they say. Well, Melissa Croce had a lot more than that to tell her family and her reaction is something that can help all of us get ready for that family reunion.
Melissa Croce wanted to nip all questions in the bud with a handy brochure.
Apparently, it all started as a joke between Croce and her coworkers, but she couldn’t let go of the idea. After you read her brochure, you’ll understand why it’s so cathartic.
“So You Haven’t Seen Melissa Croce in Several Years: A Primer”
Here’s a lil life update on the subject of your chismosando, honey. “She’s beauty and she’s grace. She’ll say it to your face.” Boom. Roasted. Who hasn’t felt the same way when getting ready to see your family?
Croce handily has two separate columns for Job vs New York FAQS.
So many folks had a good laugh at the “Should you, though?” in response to “I should come visit you!” We’ve all braced ourselves through a fake grin answering highly judgmental questions. When they go low, we go high. When they go low, we go high. This brochure is pure low. ????
You open the brochure to the question of the house: “Why is Melissa Single?”
You can choose whatever adventurous conversation experience you are initiating. What a perfect way to let the family know what they’re getting themselves into by passing judgment on single, working women.
Croce tweeted out her brochure and may have started a new side hustle for herself!
Follow your passions and everything else will follow. Even though Latinas can all relate to being asked this question, sexism is universal. Croce might have a new career calling!
Even folks are asking for her career advice at this point.
When you see success, you chase it, right? Croce works for a publishing company but isn’t editing or reading books. She’s marketing children’s books. You know, in case you didn’t read the brochure.
Croce didn’t actually pass out the brochures.
Of course, one *man* commented that, “The only thing that would be more petty than this would be actually giving it to people at the wedding.”
Croce told Buzzfeed, “I didn’t hand the brochures out! For one thing, I like my cousin, and secondly, I don’t think my aunts and uncles would’ve been too pleased with me if I did — but I did have to answer many of the questions on the brochure, so maybe I should’ve after all!”
One fan took the opportunity to formally ask Croce to be her life coach.
Croce was surprised to learn how relatable her experience was–“going to a big event and exposing the basics of your life to people who mean well, but are also strangers in many ways.”
She said yes, of course.
We’re glad some folks are appreciating Croce because the sexism hasn’t relented since she tweeted out the brochure. Folks have been telling her, “boo hoo, suck it up,” and “we get it, you’re sexist and hate men.”
Nope. Women expressing their frustration with sexism is not allowed in a patriarchal society, and that’s not stopping anyone.
So many people are taking this brochure to heart and figuring out how they can make it their own.
Thank you, Croce, and we hope the half dozen folks who have publicly reached out asking for their own brochure. If you’re reading this, Croce, we’ll leave you with this friendly message from @jmlandais:
“You definitely are good at your work. Turned your angst in a great brochure that stroke a nerve. I think you can ask for a raise.”