What It’s Actually Like Dating A Colombiana

Colombianas have to deal with plenty of preconceived ideas about who we are (plastic surgery alert). Still, there is some common ground Colombian women share. So novios, beware.

She’ll rip your head off if you say ANYTHING negative about James Rodríguez.

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Even colombianas who don’t care about soccer love the Colombia and Real Madrid winger. The 25 year-old hottie is not just an awesome player, he’s got charisma to last decades.

Forget about dancing Cumbia.

Cumbia originated from the Caribbean coast of Colombia and was fused with three other cultures: African, European and indigenous. For the most part, cumbia remains part of the culture that involves traditions like candle-holding and customary choreography. But nowadays, Colombians won’t take you cumbia dancing, unless it’s electro cumbia.

BUT you will spend a lot of time dancing.

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Even if your girl is not much into dancing, you’ll eventually meet her girlfriends, mamá, abuela, tías and primas. You better sharpen your dancing abilities because dancing is bound to happen one way or another, and it’ll probably last for hours.

You’ll need to keep your jealousy in check.

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If you’re the kind of person who sees your significant other as your property, you should not date. Period. This is particularly true if you have your heart set on a colombiana. We’ve been wrongly accused of being huge flirts, which is not the case. Truth be told – we’re just extremely nice to just about everyone we meet. Dating a colombiana takes a certain level of confidence.

She’ll throw you off when you hear her call someone *else* papi.

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Credit: The Voice / Fox

If you’ve never dated a colombiana you’ll quickly learn the large majority are natural charmers, outgoing and love to strike conversations with everyone they meet. Your mami will like her, your cousins will like her and your friends would want to hang out with her – with or without you.

Everything becomes a joke.

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As a country, Colombia’s had a very complex and sometimes pretty violent history. How do Colombians deal with it? Con risas. Telling jokes, being sarcastic and laughing at everything and everyone – yes, that probably includes you – keeps life lighter and more optimistic. So hopefully you have a sense of humor that can keep up with hers.

She’ll make you eat unimaginable things.

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Culture is important for Colombians, and food plays a major role. Whether you have an adventurous palate, prepare yourself to try real comida colombiana. From hormigas culonas (roasted big butt ants) to morcilla (rice and blood sausage) and everything in between, dating a Colombian girl will redefine your idea of what food’s suppose to be.

Blackouts might become a regular thing.

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You’ll go from saying “sí” to your first aguardiente shot, to waking up the next morning with a massive hangover and no clear recollection of the previous night.

You’ll become addicted to arepas.

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You can have white arepas, choclo (sweet yellow corn) arepas, stuffed arepas, huevo con arepa or arepas con queso. Once you try this delicacy, you’ll never, ever be able to let go.

Her superstitions will take over your holiday plans.

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You’ll most likely start the new year wearing yellow underwear, with a handful of uncooked lentils in your right pocket while pulling empty luggage around the block because, you know, good luck.

Spelling will become a priority.

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If you value your life on the slightest, make sure you brush up on this skill.


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