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The Kardashians: Reimagined As Mexicanas

Here’s how things would go down if the Kardashian Klan were Latinas. Now, obviously, they will never be good enough to be real Mexicans but it is interesting to imagine how their dramatic af lifestyles would play if they were Mexican. Let’s a take a moment, suspend reality, and allow the Kardashians to experience the Latino life as we see fit.

Their names would be Klarissa, Katrina, Katarina, Kamila and Kika.

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Where's Kendall when I need her…😭

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They would live a lavish lifestyle jet setting around South America on the fact that they are famous for being famous. They are a fun group of people, for sure, and people love to obsess about their over-the-top lifestyle.

Kris’ name would be Koncepción.

Credit: Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

It’s pretty clear why. And, yes. She would still be the fierce and sometimes feared momager that turns their life into dollars.

North’s name would be Norteada, obviously.

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Mood

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It only makes sense. They might be Mexican now but that doesn’t mean that there would be too many changes to their life and names.

That whole Jordyn and Tristan drama would have gone down in the family group text.

We all know that our parents care about appearances so the drama would have stayed within the family. Not only would they still be together for appearances, but Tristan would be on the shortest leash known to man.

Y quien es Jordyn?

That’s right. She would be banished from the house and no one in the family would ever speak to her again. It’s just how our families function and that’s that on that.

They’d live in Culiacán, Sinaloa.

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Credit: Las Kardashian Take Culiacán / Facebook

With only the finest plebada. We can only imagine how grand their home would be in this alternate universe but one thing is for sure, we would see every inch on camera.

They would conceal their waist-trainers.

We all know that they’re really fajas and Latinas don’t expose such secrets. How else are you supposed to convince the world that your exercise routine is working without the faja?

They’d switch their stilettos for something a little more “fierce.”

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#botasvaqueras

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Tbh, most of us have a pair of these bad boys tucked away in our closets. We don’t wear them often but when we do, well, these boots are made for walking.

Their favorite designer wouldn’t be Olivier Roustein, but Mitzy.

Truly an icon of our time. No one would do the Kardashians better than this incredible designer with all of the Mexicana charm.

He would design Kylie’s quinceañera gowns.

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Quinceañera en programa Hoy

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Yes. Gowns. We all know that this is how it would go down. There is no way she would only have one dress. Let’s just be honest about that, okay?

They’d date hot soccer players instead of basketball players.

Now, this is an idea that more people need to get behind. Who wouldn’t want to be married to or dating one of the fine men that control the soccer field?

Instead of their own apps, they would have their own marketed piñatas.

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Credit: Piñatería Ramírez / Facebook

You might be thinking that this is too on the nose, and you’d be right. However, this is also one of the most honest things the Kardashians could do if they were Mexican.

Their show would be the hottest telenovela.

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Credit: E!

Because you hadn’t seen drama like this before.

[PHOTOS] Check Out This List Of The 10 Steamiest Telenovela Kisses And Tell Us You Can’t Feel The Passion

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[PHOTOS] Check Out This List Of The 10 Steamiest Telenovela Kisses And Tell Us You Can’t Feel The Passion

Televisa / PandoraRosalez / YouTube

There’s no question that Latinos are responsible for some of the steamiest kisses in television history. The makings of a steamy kiss don’t solely rely on the actors themselves, however. Telenovelas give us all the scandal and suspense that makes the inevitable kiss that much more satisfying.

Whether the couple has loathed each other from the beginning, or that they had been separated because of an evil twin, or that he’s just trying to seduce her to find out who killed his half-brother–context is key. Here’s mitú’s ranking for the steamiest kissed and why.

1. Teresa and Santiago from “La Reina del Sur”

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Kate del Castillo and Iván Sanchez might be responsible for the Top 3 steamiest kiss scenes in telenovela history. Remember when Santiago lifted Teresa up like nothing? The passion is almost too good to be fake.

2. It’s still #Santeresa from “La Reina del Sur.”

PandoraRosalez / YouTube

They’re literally selling and dealing drugs and getting away with it the sexiest way possible. Teresa saw Santiago in the water and ran to him, where they made out in some pretty choppy water. Then, it cut to this sensual scene, which concludes all the reasoning we need for their second place win.

3. We warned you. #Santeresa again.

PandoraRosalez / YouTube

Kate del Castillo cannot be denied all three awards. The passion is so incredible, they turned this scene which included a mop in the corner, into what seems like the perfect setting for amor.

4. Julianita from “Amar a Muerte”

@JuliantinaIIs / Twitter

When Juliana (Bárbara López) and Valentina (Macarena Achaga) first meet, we all felt the heat rising. As magical as their first kiss in the pool was, their make-out game just kept getting stronger as the season progressed. Their love is so steamy, we’re expecting a spinoff novela this year!

5. Isabel and Pedro José from “El Cuerpo del Deseo”

neurea2 / YouTube

How can anyone forget Isabel and Pedro José’s love-making in the rain? Latinos were confused by “The Notebook” reception after we saw these two strip naked for all of us to see. Brava.

6. Demetrio and Verónica from “La Mentira”

AnaMarisela / YouTube

It’s Kate del Castillo again, but this time, she’s being seduced by Demetrio (Guy Ecker), who’s only using her to get to the truth of who killed his half-brother. The rest of us watching can tell that he’s starting to develop feelings–or are we being duped by the passion too?

7. Bianca and Bruno from “Apunto de Hacer el Amor”

Teresa1444 / YouTube

Their first kiss is iconic. Bruno gains Bianca’s forgiveness and immediately goes in for the kiss. Bianca is forgiving as her mama taught her but she certainly didn’t forget so easily. That kiss is disrupted with a good hard smack to Bruno’s eager face.

8. Rosalinda and Fernando José from “Rosalinda”

AlexanderGalvan / YouTube

There’s nothing like Thalía and Fernando Carrillo’s kisses on the set of “Rosalinda,” the most watched telenovela in the world. When Rosalinda and Fernando José rekindle their romance after the evil mother-in-law’s meddling, Rosalinda’s amnesia and mental breakdown–the sparks fly.

9. Jade and Lucas from “El Clon”

TurskeSpanskeSerije / YouTube

This is basically the Romeo and Juliet love story of our generation. Jade (Giovanna Antonelli) is Muslim and Lucas (Murilo Benício) is from a rich Brazilian Christian family. Their families would never accept their love, which is what makes their secret kisses so magical.

10. Gabriela and Alejandro from “La Patrona”

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Gabriela (Aracely Arámbula) is the only woman working in the gold mine and a single mom at that. She spends so much of the novela schooling her sexist coworkers that when she falls in love with Alejandro (Jorge Luis Pila), the contrast is so tender and beautiful. He loves her! He really loves her!

READ: LGBTQ+ Community And Allies Stage Kiss-A-Thon For Equal Rights At High-End Mall In Colombia

All Of Twitter Is Trying To Figure Out When Natti Natasha And Rob Kardashian Became An Item, And Same

Fierce

All Of Twitter Is Trying To Figure Out When Natti Natasha And Rob Kardashian Became An Item, And Same

In the game of love, it’s all about who DMs first. Now if you’re a baller, or at least trying to come off as one, you put your feelings out there in the open. No need to slip into the DMs, a simple tweet will do. At least that’s how it is for some people on Twitter.

On June 4, what we thought was some mindless flirting by two public figures is turning out to be a lot more than we anticipated.

It looks like Rob Kardashian’s tweet to singer Natti Natasha worked.

That shameless gawk tweet that he tweeted at the Dominican artist in which he basically put it all out there actually got a response from her, even though fans were clearly trying to prevent that from happening.

On Sunday, Natti wished the only male Kardashian a Happy Father’s Day and implied that she knows him a lot better than any of us assumed.

“I know.”

????

Really, Natti?

We’re not doubting his parenting skills at all, but we are doubting this unabashedly understanding between these two people. Are they really that tight?

But wait, the convo got way more heated.

Kardashian then tweeted, “see u soon.”

We’re about to start cursing in Spanish.

People on social media tried to stop these two from starting anything last week, and now it’s intervention time.

People are begging at this point.

Run, Natti, run!

There’s no running away on social media, only blocking.

Some are seriously entertained by what’s going on.

We are too, to be honest.

Listen to reason.

Where will this relationship go?

To be fair, Rob may be a cool guy. He may be the best boyfriend ever. But the Kardashians just don’t have the best track record when it comes to relationships.

Now big sis Khloe is getting involved.

Khloe, if you don’t know who Natti is please leave the room.

Dear Natti, if you’re looking for a hookup and more exposure in the tabloids then, by all means, keep doing you. You are playing this one right. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

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