How Growing Up with a Tico Dad is Anything but Basic

While everyone else watched The Crocodile Hunter, you were raised by one.

Credit: reptilefacts/tumblr

He’s got the blowgun to prove it.

That “hunter” gave you a machete for your 5th birthday present.

Inle Lake, Burma (731)

Mamá loved that one.

Read: What You Say vs. What Mamá Hears

Every wall in the house was a different color.
Screen Shot 2015-10-29 at 3.33.18 PM

And he can’t stand to be in your white-washed apartment. Is he allergic to blanco?

He regularly tricked you into eating the spiciest chiles. 

giphy (3)

I swear that was child abuse.

Every meal had to include rice and beans…

Last #costaricanbreakfast … Last few hours before going back home… #desayunotico

A photo posted by Mercedes (@shbunny) on

Image Source: @shbunny/instagram

Even breakfast when all you wanted was pancakes…just once.

The house smelled like fresh food every hour of the day.

If you recommended eating out, dad looked at you like you were crazy.

READ: Latino Dishes that’ll Cure Anything

And the house also smelled like rotting food every hour of the day.

giphy (8)

How did he not notice?

The yard looked like a jungle.
Screen Shot 2015-10-29 at 4.19.21 PM

If you suggested weeding, he got teary.

CHECK OUT: Things That Embarrassed Us About Our Culture, But Now Make Us Proud

His childhood stories sounded like Mowgli’s memoirs.
giphy (4)

“…and when I got to the top of the mango tree, there was a viper waiting for me!”

And your suffering NEVER, EVER could compare. 

giphy (6)
Credit: 20th Century Fox / myshipperheart / Tumblr

He’s survived flesh eating caterpillars and a volcanic eruption…he’s not impressed you broke a nail.

What stunts does your Tico padre pull? Let us know in the comments below and be sure to share on Facebook and Twitter!

Paid Promoted Stories