The Shady Things Mom Said Really Was For Our Own Good
She was right, lo decía por nuestro bien. Like when she said…
Por eso no tienes novio.
That was always her way of telling you you needed to improve certain areas of your life. Ok, maybe all.
No sabes hervir ni el agua.
That was her way of saying she wanted to spend more time together in the kitchen. Tough love.
Pero sigue comiendo tus mugreritos.
After realizing you had the freshmen 15. Immediately you started eating healthier ?.
Con esos tacones pareces Bambi aprendiendo a caminar.
You probably would’ve broken an ankle had you gone to the club in 6 inch heels. All good, you dance better in flats anyway.
When she told you you shouldn’t have that second taco.
Ok, rude. But she was right.
When she said, “no me gusta tu amiguita.”
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Because she knew that amiguita was shady and didn’t want us to turn out that way.
Those jeans make you look like a tamal.
Maybe it was the worst fashion choice of your teen years. Glad she talked you out of it.
Or any other time she didn’t let you show skin.
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This turned you into the classy lady you are today.
When she said she didn’t really like your man.
You had no idea what you were thinking and wish you wouldn’t have wasted three years of your life.
When she called your friends convenencieras.
She convinced you they weren’t your friends because of your sparkling personality, but because you had a car.
She even stopped you when you tried dressing like the Rebelde girls.
Can you imagine the looks you would’ve gotten when you got to class wearing a tiny plaid skirt? Thanks, mom.
When she told you you’d look like a guera oxigenada if you bleached your hair.
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Twenty treatments later you now wish you would’ve listened to her. #PelosDeEscoba