11 Things Every Unmarried Latina Over 25 Has Heard

credit: Credit: Lo Que La Vida Me Robó / Televisa / Memegenerator

As if dealing with the *sometimes* lonely days of single hood isn’t depressing enough, mami has her not-so-subtle ways of reminding you you’re the only one in la familia entera who hasn’t been able to score a life partner.

“I’m not going to be able to die in peace knowing no one will take care of you.”

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She’s only 45. Eye roll.

“Tu prima Ana, remember the one you used to babysit? She’s getting married next week.”

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Ok mom, so let’s not focus on the fact that I have a career and a house under my name and she… Well, I’m not going to throw her under the bus.

“Where did I fail, mija? Dime, qué hice mal?!”

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CREDIT: Kyon / MEMEGEN.ES

Umm… What do you mean? Look at me, I’m flaw-less.

“I guess I should give your Christening outfit away to charity at this point.”

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Go ahead, no kid of mine will ever wear that.

“Mija, you really have to check that genio, you’re scaring guys away.”

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Dad seems to be dealing with your genio just fine.

“What do you think about a singles’ cruise for Christmas?”

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Cruise? Someone might accidentally go overboard.

“Yo le hablé al padre, he’s looking into nice suitors for you.”

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I finally have an excuse to stop showing my face at Sunday mass again.

“You know how God feels about unmarried people.”

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Of all the things that God has to worry about, I’m sure his priority list goes:

Isis

World Hunger

Me not being married

“Yo ya no se qué decirle a mis amigas.”

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Seriously, my singleness is the only topic of conversation you guys have? That’s how you know the telenovela isn’t lit. You’re talking about me.

“I always wanted to be a grandmother. I can kiss that dream adios.”

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Really mom, how many more do you need?

“Do you hate men that much or are you just trying to punish me?”

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Yeah mom, I am purposely staying single just to make you miserable.

WATCH: A Complete List Of Voicemails We’ve Received From Mom

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