11 Things Every Unmarried Latina Over 25 Has Heard
As if dealing with the *sometimes* lonely days of single hood isn’t depressing enough, mami has her not-so-subtle ways of reminding you you’re the only one in la familia entera who hasn’t been able to score a life partner.
“I’m not going to be able to die in peace knowing no one will take care of you.”
She’s only 45. Eye roll.
“Tu prima Ana, remember the one you used to babysit? She’s getting married next week.”
CREDIT: JAVOL1976/ PINTEREST
Ok mom, so let’s not focus on the fact that I have a career and a house under my name and she… Well, I’m not going to throw her under the bus.
“Where did I fail, mija? Dime, qué hice mal?!”
Umm… What do you mean? Look at me, I’m flaw-less.
“I guess I should give your Christening outfit away to charity at this point.”
CREDIT: RARASTEVENS/ PINTEREST
Go ahead, no kid of mine will ever wear that.
“Mija, you really have to check that genio, you’re scaring guys away.”
Dad seems to be dealing with your genio just fine.
“What do you think about a singles’ cruise for Christmas?”
Cruise? Someone might accidentally go overboard.
“Yo le hablé al padre, he’s looking into nice suitors for you.”
I finally have an excuse to stop showing my face at Sunday mass again.
“You know how God feels about unmarried people.”
Of all the things that God has to worry about, I’m sure his priority list goes:
Me not being married
“Yo ya no se qué decirle a mis amigas.”
Seriously, my singleness is the only topic of conversation you guys have? That’s how you know the telenovela isn’t lit. You’re talking about me.
“I always wanted to be a grandmother. I can kiss that dream adios.”
CREDIT: JANNETEPORTILLA/ PINTEREST
Really mom, how many more do you need?
“Do you hate men that much or are you just trying to punish me?”
Yeah mom, I am purposely staying single just to make you miserable.
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