Maybe naming conventions aren’t always so bad, amiright?
While sometimes a bit rigid, naming conventions can often stipulate and set a standard for appropriate names. You know so that some creative parents can’t name their children Caca or things that will undoubtedly lead to a child getting abused in the future.
Nurses and midwives have been sharing the most bizarre names they’ve encountered in the field and they’re pretty alarming.
Check them out below!
“Boss’s friend named their kid Monster Galileo <last name>. Nurse tried to talk them out of it. Called in child services to talk them out of it. They insisted. Kid goes by Galileo. Honestly, I kind of like the sound of it for an adult or a performer’s name but guh, being a kid named ‘monster’ has to be rough in school.”- WeaselBit
“My boyfriend’s grandmother wanted to name her daughter Sunshine. The midwife said that wasn’t allowed because ‘it wasn’t a real name’ and his grandmother had no other back up baby names. So, a few minutes later when she heard someone down the hall screaming “Tina”, she named her daughter Tina because she couldn’t think of anything else on the spot.”- goddesswithgatos
“I once met a dude named Lovey. It was a family name. I think it was especially cute because he was such a big tough guy.”- americasweetheart
“My brother talked my mother out of naming me Mulan, because he had a major crush on her and didn’t think a “sack of potatoes” deserved to be given her name.”- Rose_Aryn
“My boyfriend was nearly called eggbert… But predominantly egg for short. Glad they decided against it!”- greenqueen420420
“I am neither a nurse or midwife, but I once was paid to design birthday cards for a kid name Mileage (pronounced My Leige, like you would refer to a King). Both the pronunciation and the spelling made me question why i deal with this customer base.”- JudgeJudyApproved
“I worked at a registrar for a while and among the birth certificates I got some of the standouts i saw were:
Killer, Syphilis and Sweet Prayer Sunrise (this one was a boy)”- Not-an-Ocelot
“I knew a woman who named her daughter Sunni. White “new age” sort of woman. I don’t think she realized it, ever.”- Grave_Girl
“My classmates mother was a maternity nurse and she has a couple who wanted to name their son “Collin” but wanted to give him a “unique” spelling for it. (I do not understand why parents do this. It doesn’t make a boring name more interesting all it does is set your child up for lifelong inconvenience.) They spelled it out for her to put on the birth certificate C-O-L-O-N. They tried to name their son colon. As in, the organ attached to your anus. When my classmates mother explained this to them they were painfully embarrassed and asked her to write it down with the normal spelling instead. I don’t think they’ll ever live it down.”- skippyist
“Conversely, I went to HS with a kid named Colin and our physics teacher CONSTANTLY pronounced it “Colon”. Like, how many times does he have to correct you, lady?”- Daghain
“In France there used to be a list of names you had to choose from (mostly based on that day’s name saint and 3-4 others). Which is why there were so many Jean / Marc / Louis /Phillipe / Marie / Anne / Valerie, etc in France.
Now it’s a free choice…. but anyone can ask a judge to cancel a name-choice and force the parent(s) to suggest one the judge finds acceptable. So no names like Coca-Cola, Xerox, Cocaine, Anal, Nutella, Sex Fruit, Devil, Blue Murder… PLUS the rejected name gets added to a “banned” list to streamline the rejection in the future.”-LozNewman
“My uncle wanted to name his daughter Raider God. I’m glad they settled on Jada.”- keikei94
“As a Family Medicine Resident, I personally delivered two different girls named Khaleesi. This was around 2016, well before season 8. I imagine there might be some buyer’s remorse on the parents part at this point.”-Herzeleid-
“My mom is a public school librarian and the cringiest name she has encountered so far is a girl named “Lesmie” (pronounced like Leslie but with an M)
Edit: I also have an acquaintance with the last name Forrest whose father was eventually talked out of naming her ‘Rain.’” –chittybangarang8
“My dad wanted to name me Snövit, the Swedish name for Snow White, but in the end my parents named me something else. Had my younger brother been a girl he’d been named Törnrosa, meaning Thorn Rose and is the Swedish name on Sleeping Beauty.
Never did get to the bottom what my dad’s obsession with princesses was all about.”-geekbydefault
“Not a midwife but lived with a student midwife when I was a student. The first set of twins she delivered got called “Red” and “Blue”
When I worked in a boring admin job dealing with applications from members of the public I came across “Jessica Rabbit”, saw her passport and everything. I just hope she chose that later in life rather than parents landing her with it. The worst ones I saw in that job were combinations made by women getting married and taking their husbands surnames so can’t really be blamed on the parents.”- Flaky_Walrus_668
“I could have been Fiona! My parents thought it was too out there. I wanted to name my daughter Serena, but my husband was against it. My youngest heard the name on a show and she is like, “I love that name. That should be my name.” Well kid, I concur! To be fair, she was going to be the name we picked boy or girl (there is a male and female version of the name) as it has always been a name we both love. We only waited in case we had a son because it was the only boy name we both loved. We had kick ass girls who do match their names.
The new Ducktails has a great scene about names that should have been.”- Viperbunny
“Working as an ERT on overnights, I got called to OB to help out alot. One name will always stick with me because of how unfortunate it is for the kid and how ridiculous it all is. The mom was deep in meth and other substance abuse and she told us she wanted him named Zion. We were like oh cool no problem so we asked her to fill out the paperwork of everything for us to submit and put in the chart and she wrote down Vzyiion…..she looked us dead in the eyes and said, the V is silent….. She also gave him 5 middle names because she didn’t know which one was the father so he got em all…”- Athuny
If there’s one thing mothers know to be true it’s that the difficulty of motherhood doesn’t end with childbirth. When it comes to motherhood, breastfeeding in particular often proves to be one of the most difficult early steps. In fact, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), only 57 percent of women who breastfeed continue to do so six months after giving birth. It’s a surprising number considering the fact that the CDC also recommends that women pursue the act of breastfeeding for six months at least and that the benefits of breastfeeding are extensive. Breastfeeding has long proven to aid in the prevention of diabetes in both mothers and children, as well as the prevention of childhood obesity, allergies, SIDS, and serious infections.
Still, the process can be trying and hard.
Fortunately, Latinas are sharing their tips and techniques for keeping up with breastfeeding.
If you’re at the start of your early breastfeeding days, check out some of the tips to help you make it through below.
“Don’t give up! It gets better! Seek out help from a lactation consultant at your OB/GYN’s office or hospital — some insurance plans cover the visit at no cost. Or contact your local La Leche League for free support from other nursing moms.” –mami.guevara
“Breastfed 5 babies…best advice is relax…and every baby is different…it’s okay to ask for help…” –mommy_dee55
“Breastfed for 2 1/2 years; first 5 months were the hardest! Take your time and be patient but MOST OF ALL do what’s best for you and your baby!!” –vida_de_maddrre
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, you are a great mom. No matter how your breastfeeding journey goes, your child will be loved. That is the best you can do for your child.” –noramia1
“I say just relax it takes time for some babies to latch on. But do what’s best for you, if you can’t breastfeed DON’T be ashamed, (and others need to stop the Mommy shaming!) you can use formula, it’s not the end of the world. I have two daughters the first one breastfeed til 19 months and my 9 month old is still breastfeeding. It’s not easy but all you new mom’s out there, just know you are great.” –angie17_lo
“Keep pumping and try milkmakers lactation cookies. They are delicious and helped me so much along with fenugreek vitamins. Be patient use formula when you need to. Do what works for you mama you know best for your baby, if it’s boob great if it’s formula great. Good luck.” –rosebuds00
“One👏🏽Day👏🏽At👏🏽A👏🏽Time… Breastfeeding is NOT easy! Do what best works for you.. Even if you can only pump….but don’t give up!”nursesandy_83
“Bruh yes I’m barely on 3 WEEKS and wondering how I’m going to make it to atleast my birthday (May).” –gabrielagnunez
“Don’t hesitate to switch to formula. I was unable to produce enough to feed my baby. Formula is a safe and nutritious alternative.” –partunicorn
“If you and your baby are not thriving, switch feeding tactics. You’re not a bad mom if breastfeeding doesn’t work for you.” –alexandriatrece
“Pump when needed. The bottle and formula are fine too. As long as your baby is getting nourishment. My kid was too lazy to take the boob. I ended up pumping and giving her a bottle. She got breast milk and I had so much milk for back up. It all works out. She ended up being weened of the bottle quickly. Sipping cups were her fave. She’s 28 and very healthy!” –mrsclny
“Patience is everything. If you plan on breastfeeding you must know it won’t be easy (or it will) but every baby is different. You’ll be nursing around the clock sometimes for hours on the couch or bed. But it’s doable and for me the best decision for my kids. Sometimes I wanted to stop, but I saw their little faces and bodies growing. It was empowering that I was nourishing them. Hang in their moms, again every journey is different. Some have to go back to work, pump.. other are at home. Whatever you decided is your choice. I nursed both my kids until 3 1/2.” –glendamurakami
“Hang in there mamis! It is so worth it. The pain, scabs, and unexpected let downs go away over a few weeks/months. It’s will be the most rewarding thing you’ve ever done.” –chicadel77
“this is why i pumped for a year, instead of direct nursing. there was a lot going on in my life and latching a baby to the breast at all hours of the day just seemed like too much. i’m still super happy that i was able to provide breastmilk for a year.” –damarysocana
“Every mom & every baby is different. Do what works for you & your baby. Ignore any & all negativity that goes your way. You brought a little human to this world; that’s your priority. Focus on your precious baby & enjoy your time with him/her, the time goes by so fast!” –glass.of.oj
“It’s hard. I tried and tried. My baby wouldn’t latch on and would not stop crying. Eventually I tried pumping but my supply gave out. My son is now 17 and he is a healthy, strong, kind young man. I’ll say this, try as hard as you can but if it doesn’t work, you know you did your best. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Normalize trying but finding a solution that works.” –adris_world220
“Value your own mental health too and switch to formula if you want to. It’s a safe, nutritious alternative.” –vivrami
“Seek a lactation consultant! Also, keep at it! More challenging than giving birth, according to my SO.” –sints.slrzno
“One day at a time. I breastfed all of my three children so I know how difficult and anxiety provoking it can sometimes be. No shame in fórmula at all. Do what works for you and be good to yourself.” –belkise.elena
“Just don’t give up! Keep offering it to baby and pump so you don’t get clogs. It takes a while to get into a rhythm but it will happen just have faith!5d1 likeReply
“Do whatever works for you. If it isn’t working that’s fine. No shame in formula and no shame in whipping your tittys out in public. Do whatever the fuck is best for you and your baby.” – stuffonstuff
“If you have the resources, seeing a lactation consultant is helpful. Pumping so you don’t become engorged if the baby is skipping feedings. I would say it took about three months to get a rhythm with my babies. Good luck.”- clarissava
“Nipple shield! Turns boob into bottle! Also pump the milk if they don’t latch and just bottle feed the breast milk. But mostly… Don’t sweat it! Sometimes babies just ween themselves off the booby, it’s natural!”- queen_of_my_castle_xx
“Keep pumping and try milkmakers lactation cookies. They are delicious and helped me so much along with fenugreek vitamins. Be patient use formula when you need to. Do what works for you mama you know best for your baby, if it’s boob great if it’s formula great. Good luck.”-rosebuds00
“Be patient and enjoy the moment. It seems like a long time but, time flies and you’ll miss it.” –galvanizestem
“Nursed each of my 4 kids for 2 years. Patience and perseverance are key. Listen to your body and your baby. There is no right or wing way to do it, only your way. What works for your family is it. Be open minded and flexible. Best of luck.” –dianapatricia_66
“I’ve breastfed 4 babies. One Set of Twins, one baby exclusively breastfed until 2yo and my last baby until 3.5yo. Each baby is different. They latch differently and your body will respond differently to each one. Best advice is to relax. I know it’s hard to hear, especially if you have so many other things to tend to. They feel it when you are tense. and find their favorite nursing position …try them all. You’ll find a sweet spot eventually. And feel free to allow yourself the option to supplement when needed.”-crdguzman
“I breastfeed exclusively for 2 years (no bottle, no formula, no pacifier)! Breastfeeding is the best you can do for yourself and your baby! There are so many resources out there and honestly misinformation is what causes a lot of women to never breastfeed or give up. If anyone needs help let me know!”- niraarin
“Yes, as many moms have said before don’t give up. I am currently breastfeeding exclusively to my 10month old son. I have breastfed my 2 children prior. He has definitely been the hardest! The first 5 months was filled with feelings of self doubt, guilt and pain. Now that he is 10 months, I can say i am more than glad to still be breastfeeding. It is so much easier to not worry about formula, bottles or anything. All I do is whip out my breast and that’s it. He is a happy happy baby! First few months you do have to be next to baby all day because of constant feedings and keep in mind your baby has been used to being in your womb for 9 months, it takes time lose that attachment. But keep going and you won’t regret it! Take time for yourself every once in a while and remember you created a little human who you have the ability to nourish. Our bodies have been blessed with that ability.”- vivalayumyums
“Pump when needed. The bottle and formula are fine too. As long as your baby is getting nourishment. My kid was too lazy to take the boob. I ended up pumping and giving her a bottle. She got breast milk and I had so much milk for back up. It all works out. She ended up being weened of the bottle quickly. Sipping cups were her fave. She’s 28 and very healthy!”- mrsclny