How many of our moms have waited for us at the door until we got home?
It’s the worst! If your mom told you to be home by a certain time, you know better than to stay out late and ignore her phone calls. But if you happened to stay out a little later… or slept over a friends house instead… your mom probably reacted the same. This is the classic reaction of an angry Latina mom. The people who recorded this video are geniuses! ?
Thousands of people on Facebook are relating.
CREDIT: NIKKY PEREZ / FACEBOOK
And there are a few who aren’t.
CREDIT: AMY ADRIANA RIOS / FACEBOOK
Slumber party? What’s that?
CREDIT: AILEEN CALLETANO / FACEBOOK
Like um, do you want my mom to kill me??
There was a reason everyone was ready with their phones to record.
CREDIT: ANDREA ANDREA / FACEBOOK
Because everyone knows what happens when you do this to mom.
CREDIT: NUNI GOICURIA / FACEBOOK
And if a few of you don’t, take this as your warning.
Sometimes our familias can really surprise us. We want and expect them to understand everything we do and all that we are as individuals. And, of course, family should accept you for who you are. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case.
Whether you come out as gay or maybe you’re in an interracial relationship, sometimes family disappoints us. Sometimes they hurt us by not allowing us to be happy.
But, often enough, there are stories of immense change and progress. Stories of “it gets better” permeate the Internet and give hope to countless others who may be facing the same family crisis.
One man is seriously pushing us to the verge of a full blown cry fest with their heartwarming story of acceptance.
In a Tweet that has since gone viral, one trans man shares a video of their dad giving them a fade and trimming their beard in the backyard.
In the tweet, they explain that when they first came out as trans, their family didn’t know what to do with them. But that after three years of a not always easy journey, things have gotten better for them and their family
They remind us all that family acceptance isn’t the only way in which things can get better though.
For some, family may never come around. This twitter user notes that they’ve lost a lot of family and friends on their journey. But as queer people often point out, it’s also about your chosen family.
They also point out the true significance of self love and surrounding yourself with a support system no matter what that looks like.
And yea, ok, their dad may not be the best barber.
They point out that yea maybe the dad messed up the haircut, but whatevs, that’s besides the point. The point is…get yourself a support system that cuts your hair in the backyard because they love you.
As so many trans people know, being a trans person in this country is not only dangerous, it can mean the end of family and important friendships.
While a recent Ipsos survey suggests people around the world are becoming more tolerant of transgender people, one expert warns the “encouraging” results are not inevitable. They take work.
And many in the community have real world experience in losing the people who once meant the world to them.
And for trans women of color, in particular, the US is a very dangerous place.
The average life expectancy of a black trans woman in the US is thought to be 35. Most of this year’s victims were still in their twenties.
Federally, trans people have also seen cutbacks in protections in shelter, health care, and incarceration under the Trump administration.
In a statement, the Human Rights Campaign said, “It is clear that fatal violence disproportionately affects transgender women of color, and that the intersections of racism, transphobia, sexism, biphobia and homophobia conspire to deprive them of necessities to live and thrive,” the organization said.
“This epidemic of violence that disproportionately targets transgender people of color — particularly black transgender women — must cease.”
But right now, Twitter was absolutely loving for this heartwarming story.
Gurl, saaaaame. As a queer person, it’s incredibly powerful to hear stories of family acceptance. And to see and understand the journey that some families take — it’s proof that change and progress is possible. Sometimes in those people from whom we’d least expect it.
Many couldn’t hold back their ugly tears.
But like don’t worry. Pretty much all of Twitter is ugly crying right there alongside you.
Some on Twitter wanted to share their own similar experiences.
This person wanted to point out that they have a step child who is in transition and that’s she’s fully supportive of her child.
While another tweet wanted to keep things real.
For some, family and friends may never come around to your authentic self. Unfortunately, this is a reality that many trans and queer people constantly face.
Because, sadly, for many, things don’t get better with their family.
Many people commented that they were happy and moved by this story of acceptance and progress. However, for many other people that moment of acceptance hasn’t come yet and many feel that it may never.
But we’re gonna leave it on a feel good note…
We’re happy for you @transtramposo and can’t wait to hear more about your journey with your accepting family. Keep sharing these heartwarming moments!
Talking about our primos in prison is taboo. If you ever had a family member in prison, you may avoid talking about it outside your family circle. The incarcerated family member then becomes a ghost, a cautionary tale, or a source of shame. We forget how they arrived in this situation and hesitate to offer support. Looking closely at issues that contribute to mass incarceration in this country can offer insights into the matter. It’s time we take a new approach to incarcerated family, and offer help in ways the correctional system refuses. It’s time to humanize our imprisoned primos and primas, showing love and empathy that we would want to see if we were behind bars.
However, looking at social issues that plague the Latinx community, it is no surprise that low levels of education, poverty, and structural discrimination lead to incarceration. With the latest instances of aggression toward the Latinx community at the presidential level, it will be no surprise if acts of discrimination and targeting of Latinos continues to rise.
What other factors contribute to the incarceration of Latinos?
Credit: Bill Oxford / Unsplash
The Pew Research Center reports that in 1991, 60 percent of Latinos were sentenced in federal court for drug-related offenses, and 20 percent for immigration crimes. Yet, these figures changed dramatically, with 48 percent of sentences for immigration crimes, and 37 percent of sentences for drug-related crimes in 2007.
The incarceration of Latinos is feeding into the conversation around the school to prison pipeline.
Credit: @LatinoPPF / Twitter
What is the prison experience really like? Netflix series like Ava DuVernay’s “When They See Us,” and “Orange is the New Black” help pull back the curtain on the harsh realities of prison life. More than just TV shows, these depictions exposed micro and macro ways the U.S., home to the largest prison population in the world, focuses not on prisoner rehabilitation, but recidivism instead.
When we think about our family members in prison, we need to remember that they could be facing sexual violence, lack of access to mental health services, solitary confinement, and denial of their reproductive rights.
Credit: Mitch Lensink / Unsplash
It may be the case that an incarcerated family member’s situation is shrouded in mystery and whispers, but this need not be the case. It is not only time to confront these matters at the family level, but to address them at the social level as well. The first step may begin with actually accepting that inmate call. Ask what your family member is going through and share that with the family if he or she permits. You may feel a sense of hopelessness, but there is so much you can do to help not only your own family members but the greater incarcerated Latino community too.
Moving beyond thoughts and prayers—although they’re good too—here are substantive ways you can help incarcerated family members.
Credit: @Art4JusticeFund / Twitter
Visit if you can. Even if it is only a few times a year, the impact of human contact cannot be overstated. Ensure you are on the approved visitor’s list before you go. Bring identification and arrive early. Be a good listener and most importantly, show that family love.
The experience of visiting prison can be inconvenient or even traumatic, so if you feel you cannot commit this fully then try a virtual visit. Apps like JPay offer inmate services like email, video visitation, and secure payment transfers. Send pictures of the family or a video of a holiday gathering.
If apps prove to be intimidating, try sending a letter. Have picture printed out—old school style—and include them in your letters. Families are full of births, marriages, and so many other beautiful life events. Share them with your primos and primas who can’t be there with you. If you feel like you simply don’t want to communicate with your incarcerated family member, but you still want to contribute to the cause in some way, join a prison pen pal organization and bring a sense of human connection to others.
Another way to help the family behind bars is to send books. The organization, NYC books through bars, understands how much books can help with the rehabilitation and the education process in prison.
Another act of solidarity with your incarcerated family member is to donate to the ACLU Prisons Project. “Through litigation, advocacy, and public education, we work to ensure that conditions of confinement are consistent with health, safety, and human dignity and that prisoners retain all rights of free persons that are not inconsistent with incarceration.”
If you have a family member in prison, it is important to their own recovery and reformation to know they have people who love and support them.
Credit: aclu_nationwide / Instagram
With an array of opportunities to help our family members in prison, it is important to note that reintroduction to society can pose a major challenge for former inmates. These are areas where you can help too. Our imprisoned family members may have been victims of the system, they may have survived the only way they know how, or maybe they just made a mistake. Whatever the circumstance, the key is to remember they are human, and most importantly, they are familia. So ask yourself, for their sake and the sake of our community, what can you do to help?