This Is What You Feel When You Watch A Telenovela
Telenovelas are not for the faint of heart. There are 856,391 different emotions you feel when you watch these dramatic soap operas, and more than half of them will kill you. Latinos, man… we live for the drama. Here are some of the most common emotions you feel when you watch a telenovela. Brace yourself.
“This is sooo stupid… whatever.”
It always starts with disbelief. You convince yourself that the storyline is garbage and you won’t sit through another episode.
“What kind of idiot would believe this BS?”
You continue to fight yourself and question why you’re watching. “His mother is really his sister and his grandma, his real mother? Come on!”
“Oh crap! Sh*t just got real.”
And then it hits you: The telenovela world is your world now. You’re officially addicted. You change your social schedule because you can’t wait to see what happens next with your favorite, yet doomed couple, and the hated-but-very-good-looking villain.
“Can you believe her body? That b*tch.”
Then jealousy takes a hold of you. “How can this drop-dead gorgeous, incredibly hot girl be so miserable? I can’t stand her. That waist, those legs… Agh!”
“Girl! This turned out to be sooo hot very soon.”
Suddenly, things start to get HOT! “Wait a minute, weren’t they slapping each other a minute ago? Mmmm…who cares anymore? Show me more skin!”
“He can’t be dead!”
Then comes denial. You can’t believe the main character just got killed with a mariachi guitar. “How? Why?”
“What?! Her twin brother turned out to be her lover??”
Meanwhile, you know what you are watching is ridiculous… but you dig it. “So she had a twin who is gay and now is fondling her rebound guy? Ok, that makes sense.”
“Did he just do that?”
You are in shock, never saw that one coming. By now real life is just a distraction.
“Slap that mentiroso!”
You want to climb inside your TV and beat the sh*t out of him. He’s a liar and a cheater after all. Wait…is this a Paquita song?
“OMG he’s back from the dead!” Better yet, pretended to be dead to test the love of Rosario de la Dulce Esperanza!
“This can’t be happening!”
Denial strikes again. “How are they supposed to live happily ever after now?”
“I bet they end up together.”
You start weighing the odds and you find yourself rooting for the star-crossed lovers.
“Wait… are they really ending up together?”
You totally called it!
“OMG! This is so romantic”
Then, a change of heart: The highly anticipated and over-the-top montage of the proposal, honeymoon, wedding, birth of their baby and flash forward to 10 years from now, makes you forget everything… It’s just SO ROMANTIC!
“Wait! It’s over? Nooooooooooooo!”
When the final credits roll in you are right back where you started: In disbelief. “What am I supposed to do now?”
“No, no, no. I. Need. More!”
All you can feel is desperation. You start begging for a sequel. You need these characters in your life again. “What have I done to deserve this?”
“Too many emotions. I can’t take it.”
When it’s all over, you know you have to deal with the 0h-so-many emotions this drama left you with. Time to go back to real life and talk to some real people. That is… unitl the next telenovela gets a hold of you and you start this cycle all over again.
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