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This Is What The Olympics Would Look Like If Our Parents Organized Them

Credit: @o0ostaceo0o / Instagram

The Rio Olympics are finally happening. After so much speculation on the safety, health and general well-being of everyone involved, it’s a relief to see the Games finally go forward. But, what if Latinos, or even our parents, were in charge of the Olympic Games? Well, here’s what they would probably look like.

1. Grocery Lifting

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Credit: BreakingBeard / Imgur

Finally! An event that puts all those years of intense grocery lifting to good use. Bonus points if you can lift all the bags and the watermelon mami insisted on buying without breaking a sweat.

2. The Curfew Dash

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Credit: Equipe de France de Football / Giphy

Admit it, the Olympics would be so much more fun if you saw the athletes running to the finish line as their parents watched the clock. If you’re late, the door is slammed shut and you lose the event.

3. The Chancla Toss

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Credit: Antonio Rios III / mun2.tv / YouTube

Accuracy and distance are the main goals of this event. Not only do you need to make sure you can throw your chancla the furthest, it’s crucial that you hear the slap of chancla hitting skin. Trick shots are not only expected, they are encouraged and raise your starting score.

4. Chancla Ducking

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Credit: CNN

There’s nowhere to run. Competitors duck a relentless chancla attack. The first to convince mami to stop slinging chanclas wins. Bruise count is factored into the tiebreaker.

5. Sock Slide Racing

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Credit: Risky Business / The Geffen Company / yahooentertainment / Tumblr

OK, this event is more so created by us, los hijos. You finally get a chance put all those practice runs to the test and finally prove, once and for all, who is the best sock slider in the world.

6. Piñata Bashing

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Credit: Angie Tribeca / Giphy

It’s kinda like golf. The more swings to take to break the piñata, the lower your score. Official uniform is the quince dress — for girls and guys.

7. Mopping

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Credit: anjelania / Tumblr

The first person to mop the room to abuelita’s approval wins. The rules do state, however, that not one drop water or cleaning liquid can make contact with any of the furniture. Doing so will result in an immediate disqualification.

8. Furniture Jumping

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Credit: hotfrost / Reddit

This game only has one rule, don’t touch the floor. You can jump, side step and crawl all over the furniture as long as you get out of the room and to dry ground. Even one smudge on the freshly mopped floor is grounds for disqualification.

9. The Chisme Relay

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Credit: Jimmy Kimmel Live / YouTube

It’s kind of like the game telephone, but this time you spill some serious chisme. The first team to successfully spread the “you didn’t hear it from me” rumor wins the gold and ultimate chisme bragging rights.

10. Tortilla Flipping

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Credit: hectorfergo / YouTube

Simple event: If the tortilla rips, you lose points. If the tortilla falls to the ground, you lose points. If the tortilla triumphantly puffs up, then you are the undisputed champion.

11. Speed Greeting

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Credit: Guinness World Records

This is another one of those events that is all about speed. The challenge is hugging every last family member with both arms. Be careful not to get caught up in a story by tía Marisol or it’ll cost you the gold.


READ: Umm… Human Body Parts Washed Up At Brazil’s Olympic Beach Volleyball Site

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Olympic Gold Medalist Laurie Hernandez Just Bragged So Hard About Her Parents And It’s The Cutest Thing

Entertainment

Olympic Gold Medalist Laurie Hernandez Just Bragged So Hard About Her Parents And It’s The Cutest Thing

@lauriehernandez / Instagram

In 2016, a group of five young athletes went to the Summer Olympics in Rio Janerio with big dreams. There, the Olympians competed to be named the best in the world in their individual and group categories. Nicknamed the “Fab Five,” the women went on to earn silver and gold medals at the international games; proving that the gymnasts were the best of the best.

That same year, Laurie Hernandez — a member of the five — also earned gold on the TV dancing show, “Dancing with the Stars.” The athlete then focused her attention on the literary world. In 2017, she published her New York Times bestselling memoir, “I Got This,” and, in 2018, released her children’s picture book, “She’s Got This.” Hernandez even has a new hosting gig on “American Ninja Warrior” to keep her busy.

It seems that with every challenge she takes on, she succeeds.

Now the gymnast has her eyes set on 2020 and her next shot at Olympic greatness.

Twitter / @LaurieHernandez

Recently, Hernandez sat down with REFINERY 29 and shared her thoughts on power. Specifically, the Olympian explained what makes her feel powerful and what she does in those occasional times when she’s left feeling a little bit powerless.

Unsurprisingly, the athlete explained that she feels most powerful when moving and active. She discussed her workouts, saying:

“Sometimes it’s just gymnastics, but sometimes it’s doing other things, too — like cycling. But just testing how my body works makes me feel most powerful.”

Hernandez went on to elaborate that — to her —  power isn’t just about physical strength. The Latina believes that power also lies in having a strong spirit and mind. She added:

“Gymnastics can be more mental than physical sometimes. So throughout training, going through different tests — whether that’s competing with a lot of people or just with yourself can build your mental strength. So, just learning how to calm myself down; I think that’s pretty powerful.”

The Olympic medalist admitted that it’s her relationship with her parents that brings her back when she’s feeling less than powerful.

Twitter / @Variety

Hernandez explained that even though she and her family are living on two separate coasts, her mom and dad are still the people she goes to when she needs a pep talk. She admitted:

“The first thing I do is reach out to my family and close friends. Sometimes I feel like they know me better than I know myself. Especially my mom and dad; they’ve been supporting me since day one. I feel like they have all the answers. Right now I’m training in California and my family is in New Jersey, so there’s a lot of FaceTime going on.”

Not only do her parents help her when she’s feeling powerless, but they are also her role models when it comes to strength.

Twitter / @OKMagazine

The Latinidad is very family-oriented so we can relate to this. Hernandez doesn’t just look to her parents to revitalize her when she feels powerless. She also considers them her examples when the athlete thinks about what power looks like. After asking if she could pick her mom and dad as her power icons in the interview, Hernandez continued:

“My icons are my parents. After having to raise three kids, they’ve gone through a lot of different struggles. My siblings and I have been able to do so much in our lives because we had a really good foundation. There’s only so much your parents can give you, and yet it feels like our parents really gave us the world.”

She went on to explain that the example that her parents provided her and her siblings early on setting them up for the rest of their lives.

“I think without that foundation and without the things they taught us when we were little, we wouldn’t be where we are today. They’re so kind to other people, and that’s something that I want to follow their lead on. So, they’re my power icons.”

Hernandez ended the interview by saying that her power anthem is Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Know” and it only seems too fitting because it looks like nothing can stop the Latina athlete from achieving her dreams. We will be rooting for more gold for the gymnast in her return back to competition at the 2020 Summer Olympics in Tokyo.

Michelle Obama Said She Checks For Drugs, Guns And Brothers In Houses Before Letting Her Girls Do Sleepovers And Same

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Michelle Obama Said She Checks For Drugs, Guns And Brothers In Houses Before Letting Her Girls Do Sleepovers And Same

Many of us can relate to the experiences that come from having overprotective parents. There’s no such thing as privacy. Essentially: your business is their business. You better be ready to tell your papa where you’re going, your mama who with, at what time you’re doing what you’re doing and what for before you even think of making those plans. As tough as this parental interference seems, it’s nothing compared to what our former First Daughters had to go through while living in the White House.

In a recent interview, former First Lady Michelle Obama shared the intense security measures that had to be followed whenever daughters Sasha and Malia ventured outside their Washington DC home.

Twitter / @Essence

Over the 4th of July weekend, Gayle King interviewed the former First Lady at this year’s Essence Festival in New Orleans where she talked about the ever-present security. With both of her daughters officially adults, Obama explained that she and her husband, Barack, are now empty-nesters but they still remember what life was like in the White House. She shared in the interview that the strict Secret Service details weren’t just an everyday occurrence in her girls’ lives. They were also more than a little intimidating for the parents of Sasha and Malia’s friends.

“Imagine having Malia and Sasha come to your house for a sleepover,” Obama said during the interview. “It’s like, ‘Hello. OK, we’re going to need your Social Security number, we’re going to need your date of birth. There are going to be men coming to sweep your house. If you have guns and drugs, just tell them yes because they are going to find them anyway. Don’t lie. They’re not going to take them, they just need to know where they are. And, uh, thank you for having Malia and Sasha over. Oh and by the way, there is going to be a man with a gun sitting outside all night. If you let him use the bathroom, that would be nice.’”

This little peek into their White House lives wasn’t the only topic of interest in her interview. Obama talked a bit about the current political climate as well.

Twitter / @PoliticusSarah

During the 2016 Presidential Election, Obama famously shared her philosophy of “going high” when your opponents go for low blows. Considering the atrocities that the current administration is responsible for, some question the validity of that philosophy now.

“I get asked: ‘In this climate, how do you find it in yourself to go high?'” Obama explained. “Going high is a long-term strategy. The truth is, going high is about trying to get to the real answer. Because a lot of the times the low answer is just our immediate instinct.”

Both Barack and Michelle have been careful about criticizing Donald Trump and his presidency. However, during this interview, she shared how she felt at the 2017 Inauguration when the Obamas turned the country over to the controversy-filled Trump administration.

“To sit at that inauguration and to look around at a crowd that was not reflective of the country, and I had to sit in that audience as one of the handfuls of people of color, all that I had to hold on to,” the former First Lady confessed. “It was a lot emotionally.”

Obama’s stunning new look was also the talk of the festival.

Twitter / @PageSix

The former First Lady appeared at the festival in a sparkling midnight blue jumpsuit by American designer Sergio Hudson. Hudson is a favorite designer of such celebrities as Cardi B, Rihanna, and Amal Clooney. Meredith Koop, Obama’s stylist, shared with Page Six Style that the 55-year-old “wanted something less formal but still with the disco edge of the [Hudson’s most recent] collection.” The result is a classy, fun ensemble that made Obama look every bit as dazzling as ever.

The look was finished with oversized Djula white gold and diamond hoops and a new curly hairstyle with blonde highlights. During her days in the White House, Obama’s personal style was harshly criticized and she was expected to keep a more conservative look. To see her now living her best life and embracing her natural hair texture is a thing of beauty.

Her look received rave reviews from Twitter as well.

Twitter / @JaniceDeul

As this Twitter user reminds us, beauty is diverse. For Obama to proudly show the diversity of her hair is to tell girls and women with similar textures that their hair is also beautiful. This is an important reminder in an age when Black beauty is still often whitewashed.

This Twitter user was all of us when we saw that sparkly jumpsuit.

Twitter / @broccolirobin

Obama gave us some Disco Diva feels with this ensemble. We can only hope we look half as good in our 50’s as the former First Lady did at the Essence Festival. Post-White House living is definitely working for her.

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