As kids, we couldn’t wait to come to America because somehow our parents managed to plant these seeds in our head…
We imagined America as Disneyland.
We thought Micky Mouse, Pluto and the rest of the gang would be around us all the time. And that we would be surrounded by happy music, castles and princesses too. Sadly, this was not the case.
We thought every town would be like LA and NY.
We all know who is responsible for this one: La pinche TV. In our heads, the idea of America was either an ongoing summer vacation, like in “Baywatch,” or a glamorous life in the city with the cast of “Friends” or “Gossip Girl.” We were so naive.
We pictured everyone being blonde.
It made sense… blonde heads everywhere, right? What we didn’t know back then was that America is a nation of immigrants and that diversity is all around us. Latinos represent over 55 million of the country’s population and the majority of us have brown or black hair… that is until we color it pink, green, blue or yellow.
We thought that staying in a Holiday Inn was luxurious.
Hearing our parents talk about hotels, and even motels, sounded so cool to us. Room service, breakfast in bed… ah, the life. Until we discovered the Ritz-Carlton and Four Seasons existed.
We pictured eating happy meals every day AND being happy about it.
After visiting America for the first time we found a new religion: fast food. French fries never tasted sooooo good.
We imagined everyone being filthy rich.
The mansions, the Lamborghinis, the labels. Everything was so perfect… on TV. How in the world could they afford all of that with their regular jobs? Very easy, welcome to the land of debt, homie.
We thought America was the largest country of all.
The endless rides on highways and the fact that everyone used to drive everywhere, convinced us that the United States was Goliath and the rest of the world, poor little David. Sorry to burst your bubble, but we actually rank third.
We pictured all Americans being gorgeous.
People living in America looked so shiny and beautiful, almost as if they won the gene pool world lottery. It was beautiful until we came across the people that go overboard with their Botox, sunless tanning and steroids.