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Latina Ex-Girlfriends Know Where to Hit Their Exes Where It Hurts

If there’s one thing you don’t do in life, it’s dump a Latina. Seriously. We can be über passionate lovers, but we use that same intensity to make you regret ever leaving us.

We immediately release our frustration at the gym and work on getting hotter and post a bikini shot for you to see ?.

In love with this @todieforswimwear #bikini #lace #neon #cute

A photo posted by LAURA BADURA ?? (@laurabadura) on

Credit: @laurabadura / Instagram

You’ll realize you’re missing out on sexiest thing you ever had.


We drop cryptic Facebook statuses.

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Credit: fiercegifs / Tumblr

Forget sappy quotes, we drop indirectas, just like mom taught us . You know things like, “no dejes que las personas te mantengan en el piso cuando puedes volar” to make you feel more of a tool.


We experiment because sexuality can be fluid.

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Credit: Glee / FOX / thatsdemis / Tumblr

And we’ll make sure you hear about it to make your blood boil with jealousy.

READ: Expectations Guys Have of Their Latina GFs


We start hanging with a new, sexy squad of girls you’ve never met.

#sundayfunday #yachting #latinasquad #sunfest2015 #vipseats #shhhh #roséallday ??❤️?

A photo posted by Rose Espittia (@rosebodyboss) on

Credit: @rosebodyboss / Instagram

Aka, other hot single girls. We turn heads everywhere we go.


And of course we flood our Instagram accounts with super sexy pics from our nights out.

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Credit: vsfsgifs / Tumblr

And post selfies of us getting bottle service at clubs courtesy of super hot guys.


We appear where you least expect it, being all sexy and shit.

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Credit: beuniquenomatterwhat / Tumblr

Family reunion? ✔️ Church? You bet. You’re niece’s birthday party? Like oh hey, I didn’t know you’d be here.


We reconnect with old guy friends – the ones you were jealous of.

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Credit: parishiltom / Tumblr

They are nicer than you, after all.


But I’ll save my first post-you hookup for that friend of yours who always flirted with me.

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Credit: Jane the Virgin / CW / callietorres-ga / Tumblr

You were right, he did have a crush on me.

READ: These 21 Latino Songs Will Help You Through Your Breakup


And we always keep in touch with a mutual friend who always keeps me updated – even after you block me.

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Credit: Keeping Up With The Kardashians / E! / fiercegifs / Tumblr

We’re always watching ?.


How do you react when you are dumped for no reason? Like our Facebook to get more advice in your newsfeed.

Our Moms Tried Literally Every Diet, But Did It Occur to Them They Could Lose Weight By Going to the Gym?

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Our Moms Tried Literally Every Diet, But Did It Occur to Them They Could Lose Weight By Going to the Gym?

Khloé Kardashian is getting all the glory for discovering waist training. Sorry homegirl, our moms did it first, along with these insane diets, because they were desperate to lose a pound or two…


Here’s la faja original.

https://instagram.com/p/8nqGhhzIZJ/

Credit: @jenn1827torres / Instagram

What new waist training? Our moms have been using these their whole lives and were not subtle about it at all…


They’d tell their comadres…

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Credit:

…that they look like stuffed tamales.


AND their fajas were anything but a basic waist trainer. They wore semi-permanent plaster ones.

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Credit: ytimg.com

It looked like the most painful rib-breaking device.


They did everything to sweat the fat off…

https://instagram.com/p/8nmuPanADq/

Credit: @mi_version_mejorada / Instagram

Without working out.


Including electrocuting themselves to gain muscles.

https://twitter.com/UlricaWeale/status/678150573938577408

Credit: @UlricaWeale / Twitter

Who said this was a good idea?


They didn’t stop at waist training. They also wrapped plastic around their toes.

https://twitter.com/2Sell2Buy/status/637003674129051648

Credit: @2Sell2Buy / Twitter

How did they ever think a magnet wrapped around their fat toe would make them lose weight?!


They stapled – STAPLED – this plastic tab to their tongues to keep them from eating…which could have been done without this barbaric device.

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Credit: equipomediconutricional / Blogspot

Then they learned they could still chew their food from the side of their mouth. #CheatingTheSystem ?


And popped purple pills like no other.

https://twitter.com/EduDuud/status/444577730244255744

Credit: @EduDuud / Twitter

Because these pills promised to suppress their appetite, accelerate their heart rate, increase energy levels… None of which sound safe or FDA approved.


Only Latina moms would trust gold pills.

https://instagram.com/p/8dH1Wiqh7j/

Credit: @wondergoldnevia / Instagram

Like c’mon! Everything about this looks fake.


To get a body like Maribel Guardia’s, they’d drink her magic, fat-burning tea.

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Credit: soyavid.com

Because if her picture was on it, it meant it was real.


They were cult followers of this green label.

Credit: @josemasoto17 / Instagram

They bought this stuff in bulk and swore by it.


This was their reaction anytime they found a new diet recipe on YouTube:

“CUANDO TU MAMA MIRA RECETAS EN YOUTUBE”

JAJAJAJAJAJAJA COMPARTE! ❤️

http://on.fb.me/1HZK5bX

#Mituverano.

Posted by Mario Aguilar on Thursday, July 9, 2015

Credit: Mario Aguilar / Facebook

They fell for la dieta de alcachofa.

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Credit: victorcaballero.com

A magic potion you put into your food that makes fat disappear.


And weird shakes as meal replacements…

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Batido Proteínico De FrutasTropicales (Para 1 porción). ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ Ingredientes: 2-­‐4cucharadas de polvo deproteína de suero saborvainilla, 1/4 taza de coco rallado, 1/3 taza de piña entrozos, 1/3 taza de mango en trozos, 1/3 taza de papaya en trozos, 1/2 taza de leche de coco, 1 taza de agua, 5 cubos de hielo. ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ Instrucciones: 1.  Combina todos los ingredientes en la licuadora. Mezcla hasta que quedesuave. ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ ¿Te gustaría saber cómo quemar grasa desde tu cocina? Bájate mi Guía GRATUITA con mis 7 Mejores Trucos Para Quemar Grasa de forma FÁCIL y más RÁPIDO desde tu cocina, además de otros dos regalos sin costo alguno (link en mi bio!) #recetasquemagrasa #instafood #fitnessfood #eatclean #fitfood #sano #saludable #soysaludable #sersaludable #perderpeso #adelgaza #healthyhabits #healthylife #adelgazar #healthy #dieta #receta #recetasaludable #recetafitness #recipes

A post shared by Recetas Quema Grasa (@recetasquemagrasa) on

Credit: @recetasquemagrasa / Instagram

That’s all they were eating, of course they were going to lose weight.


But did they ever think to work out?

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Credit: authorityalwayswins / Tumblr

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