Entertainment

This is Why Latinas Have No Need to Watch Porn

These are the things that stimulate us more than anything…

Seeing this man walk by.

Or the #elotero #paletero ??

A photo posted by Cheesecake (@jellybeancake3) on

Credit: @jellybeancake2 / Instagram

And the more we chase him, the more exhilarating.

Because we know he carries the kind of packages we like.

Credit: @dradevsfood / Instagram

He never disappoints.

READ: Tacos Before Vatos: Why We Single Ladies Live By This Motto

Full-on nudes always get us going.

https://www.instagram.com/p/-s2SMXLrj6/

Credit: @itsstylish / Instagram

But partial nudes are our favorite kind of tease.

omg

A photo posted by @hoenest on

Credit: @hoenest / Instagram

This kind of tease and tousle is also pretty glorious.

A photo posted by L. (@missmadrid) on

Credit: @missmadrid / Instagram

It’s not called sex hair for nothing.

READ: How Telenovelas Lied to Us About Sex

Sometimes keeping it clean is sexier than dirty. We’re talking about brows here.

https://www.instagram.com/p/-uXmcloORe/

Credit: @eyebrowsblessings / Instagram

But when we want the perfect balance of messy and clean, this hits the spot.

Credit: @borrachotacos / Instagram

That gets our mouth watering almost as much as this…

?? it's a mexican thing you wouldn't understand #lemon #Chilevalentina #chamoy

A photo posted by Mrs.Feria (@psychedelic_sun_flower) on

Credit: @killa_cali_mermaid / Instagram

If you’re not Latina, you wouldn’t understand.

READ: Signs You’re Too in Love with Chile

We can’t control ourselves once we have a taste of this.

Credit: @chantaltru / Instagram

We keep going until it’s done.

Nailing the perfect #OOTD photo may seem like the ultimate climax, but…

F R E E. B I R D ❤️ @soludos | photo by @grantlegan

A photo posted by JULIE SARIÑANA (@sincerelyjules) on

Credit: @sincerelyjules / Instagram

Most of us would agree it’s perfectly opening this.

Simple & Delicious ? #breakfast #avocado #nyclife

A photo posted by @chantaltru on

Credit: @chantaltru / Instagram

What little pleasures in life do you love more than anything? Let us know in the comments and don’t forget to click the share button below!

Versace Just Dropped A Whole Telenovela For Their Holiday Campaign And The Drama Puts Rubí To Shame

Fierce

Versace Just Dropped A Whole Telenovela For Their Holiday Campaign And The Drama Puts Rubí To Shame

versace / Instagram

And no, we’re not talking about ‘The Assassination of Gianni Versace’, that’s a different Versace-themed glamorous murder-mystery. This time, the Italian fashion house, known for its drama and campy decadence, produced a whole bite-sized Telenovela featuring its holiday 2019 collection. Think Veronica Castro in the 80s; big perms, bold statement jewelry, betrayal, murder and tax evasion. Not even Telemundo could’ve thought of a more twisted and fabulous story. 

Versace’s Holiday Saga is a tumultuous and OTT Telenovela.

The concept was first ideated in collaboration with the American artist Sarah Baker and the UK art and fashion journal; Baroness Magazine. The six-part micro-telenovela includes all the traditional elements of Latino soap-operas that we’re all too familiar with; such as a filthy-rich family who owns an over the top mansion, a greedy antagonist (usually a sexy female), the wronged husband, the ingenue and the sketchy accountant. 

The protagonist, Angelina, is a rich business woman who is suspected of having committed a crime.

versace.com

Constructed as a series of letters written by the protagonist to Donatella herself, the story follows Angelina (played by Baker), the CEO of Narcissist Records who has been accused of stealing the smash hit “Spritz Me With Your Love” (lol), from an uncredited writer. 

In telenovelas, people return from the dead, blackmail each other and plot the protagonist’s demise, and Versace’s version isn’t short of all that drama.

versace.com

The writer of the song is in fact Angelina’s boy toy, “Angelo,” who —in true Telenovela style— appears to have mysteriously died after falling off a cliff. Angelina, suspects that her archenemy The Baroness—Angelo’s wife— played by top model Helena Christensen, is to blame. 

If it all sounds twisted, over the top dramatic and just all around extra; wait until you see the visuals. 

versace.com

The 6 mini-episodes not only feature fabulously dressed models clad in all Versace outfits, but also a huge assortment of random Versace-emblazoned items. There’s Versace silverware, a Versace pool float, a Versace volleyball, a Versace ash tray, Versace martini glasses, and the list goes on. 

By this point, if you grew up watching Telenovelas, you should know that nothing is as expected.

versace.com

Telenovela plotlines are a twisted business. If you’ve watched classics like ‘La Usurpadora’, ‘Los Ricos Tambien Lloran’, ‘Rubi’, or ‘Maria Mercedes’, you’d know better than to assume that things will follow their natural course. In Versace’s story; Angelo is of course, not dead. The accountant is plotting to frame Angelina and marry her daughter —the ingenue— to keep Narcissist Records for himself. Angelina had an affair with her frienemy ‘The Baroness’s’ husband Angelo, and The Baroness is actually… drumroll please… an undercover spy. 

You can watch the six-part series on Versace’s holiday campaign website.

versace.com

Versace unleashed the first full episode as well as a director’s cut on their Youtube channel. The Italian house’s complete 6-episode soap opera, is available to view for free in the form of a ‘Versace Holiday Saga’ on the brand’s website.  

There will also be a print edition of the story.

instagram @baroness_magazine

The actual print edition of the art and fashion magazine ‘Baroness’ will feature the story alongside an accompanying editorial shoot —which seems to be even steamier than the video clips. 

Donatella’s take on the classic soap-opera has all of our Telenovela-loving hearts, obsessed.

Twitter @veronicadela4t

Versace knows the importance of spectacle and drama. Donatella embraces over-the-top luxury and this tongue-in-cheek take on the campy Telenovela, is evocative of the 80s and 90s classics, us Latinx millennials, grew up watching. Angela and The Baroness might as well be characters in ‘Maria Mercedes’ or ‘Los Ricos Tambien Lloran’ and we can’t stop watching. It’s ridiculous and we’re sure you’ll love it, too. 

As ridiculous as the narrative might seem, The Versace Saga gives us every single thing we need out of a Telenovela: sex, scandal, intrigue, decadence and sisterhood.

versace.com

After the unravelling of the scandalous lives of the female protagonists, the campaign teaches us an important lesson in empowered sisterhood. Dismantling the misconception of ruthless powerful women in popular culture as spiteful, Angela and The Baroness actually patch things up and work together to unmask the real villains; Jacob and Angelo.

In this project, Baker and Donatella aim to subvert the judgement of ‘passional’ soap-star females fueled by theatricality. Instead they celebrate sisterhood by wrapping up the story with a collaborative female effort to overthrow the pangs of blackmail and deceit.

The holiday campaign features Versace Cruise 2020, and a wide selection of the brand’s famous medusa, emblazoned on household items. The collection is now shoppable on versace.com

This Woman Says La India Maria And Raul Velasco Are Her Parents, Gave Her Away Upon Her Birth

Entertainment

This Woman Says La India Maria And Raul Velasco Are Her Parents, Gave Her Away Upon Her Birth

As far as cultural icons in Mexican television you can’t get much bigger than Raúl Velasco and La India María. The former was the host of the huge show Siempre en Domingo, which saw stars such as Luis Miguel, Emmanuel and Timbiriche first reach the upper echelons of Latin American pop culture. His power as a gate keeper, a sort of padrino for musicians and almost all Mexican showbiz personalities in the second half of the twentieth century is unparalleled. Think of Velasco a Don Francisco a la décima potencia. On the other hand, La India María was the film persona of María Elena Velasco-Fragoso, who through her character used comedy to talk about the struggles of indigenous women in Mexico City and paisanos in Los Estates. 

Both Raúl Velasco and La India María have passed away (him in 2006, her in 2015), but this story and the echo it has generated in Spanish-speaking media revels their lasting popularity in the collective Latino memory. But we gotta remember that public figures, particularly those aligned with the Mexican media monopoly Televisa, are helped in showing their best face to the audience. Even though this story is surprising, it isn’t a complete shock.

So the bombshell news was quite surprising: a woman called Mirna Velasco claims to be their daughter.

Credit: Twitter. @raulbrindis

Showbiz journalists on both sides of the border just drooled at the potential scandal. The 50-year-old woman, who lives in Los Angeles, revealed her claimed identity during the YouTube show Chisme No Like

Her story is quite heartbreaking and if true would make us look at her presumed biological parents in a new light.

Credit: Siempre en Domingo / Televisa

MIrna claims that she was given away as a child and that she is product of an affair between Raúl, who was married, and María Elena. The story goes that La India María gave her baby away to one of her domestic workers. Sounds like straight out of a telenovela but stories like these are plausible and more common than one would imagine. Mirna says that her adoptive parents were “not very nice people” and that she vowed to have a large family and be different from them. If Mirna’s story is true, her biological father would have been 36 and La India Maria 29. Mirna was born on the same year that Siempre en Domingo first aired: 1969. 

¿Les da un aire a ambos? She kinda does, hey?

Credit. Instagram. @mirna.velasco

Mirna has eight children. She told journalist Javier Ceriani that as a teenager she would wonder why she didn’t look like her mom, so her adoptive mother told her the truth. But the truth was revealed in a horrible way: her stepdad was accused of molesting Mirna’s younger sister, and it was all revealed during the court case, according to MSN News. She never looked for her biological parents because, she was told, they didn’t want her then and didn’t want any further contact. Just wow. This makes the fact that she built a career as an actress even more amazing.

So who is Mirna Velasco? Well, she is a pretty big deal actually, a self-made Latina queen.

Credit. Instagram. @mirna.velasco

She is an actress and working mom. She is pretty active on Instagram, where she announced her interview and the big reveal. She has said that she doesn’t need money and is only revealing the truth to set an example for her kids. 

She is an exemplary United States Latina working hard for her community.

Credit: YouTube. @ChismeNoLike

And she is very active in building bridges between Latino communities and the City of Los Angeles. She has even been recognized by city officials as an outstanding citizen who works to create connections. 

The Mexican Internet is heartbroken.

Credit: Twitter. @GuillermoRuiz

Raúl Velasco and La India María were the epitome of wholesome entertainment for millions of Spanish-speakers all throughout the Americas, so this story shatters the innocent public persona that was carefully tailored by both. We of course cannot confirm Mirna’s story (perhaps no one really can), but this case leaves a stain of doubt on their reputations. 

Let’s get one thing straight: we have no right to doubt her.

Credit: Twitter. @PeriodicoAMNoticias

No one can attest to the validity of Mirna’s story unless DNA tests are conducted. If she is lying or her adoptive family gave her inaccurate information then that’s on them. But we are better than the chisme culture that doubts everyone and believes we all have the right de opinar on other people’s lives, right? So let’s not come to conclusions. It takes a lot of courage to do what Mirna did.