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#mitúVOICE

11 Things You Hear because You’re Latino and Can’t Handle Your Liquor

It’s like, por favor paren!

 1. Are you sure you’re Latino? giphy-16

Friends and family start to disown you because you keep hurling because as a Latino, you’re expected to know how to down seven shots of Don Julio.

2. You’re reminded of stupid sh*t you did the time before.

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Like that tattoo on your trasero that says Carmen <3.

READ: Quiz: Which Kind of Drunk are You?

3. You’re always under surveillance.

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Your family and best friends hire a babysitter, or a drone,  so they can monitor your drinking.

4. They hand you the light stuff.

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Like Kombucha because its the vegan beer, right? Or a Corona Light with a lime.

5. They take commemorative portraits.

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Your picture of all the pranks they did to you while you passed out is hung over the fireplace next to your quince picture like a trophy.

READ: Foods You Regret Eating After a Noche de Borrachera

6. You get stood up.

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I know we agreed to go to the movies, but we really wanted to go to Vegas, so we went without you.

READ: 15 Photos that Don’t Need Explanation if You’re Mexican

7. You become the official DD.

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You become the group’s designated driver for all occasions involving alcohol, practically all occasions. Such an honor.

8. They schedule an intervention.

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They called it a potluck, but they really just care about you and love you so much.

READ: 7 Rancheras that Bring Out Your Tío’s Inner Chente at Family Parties

9. Or resort to 420.

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They beg you to get your card so you can resort to that while they have their buzz going. This won’t make you throw up your insides.

10. Non-stop shade. Every time you see family.

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They sneak in an O’Douls to try to fool you into thinking you are drinking alcoholic beer and watch you act a fool when you think you’re buzzed.

READ: Latino Birthday Parties are Only a Humiliation for the Birthday Kid

11. They baptize you with a new nickname like La Barfy.

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Every friend and cousin has a nickname for you from that epic night.

What do you tell your cousins when they get too out of hand? Hit that share button and remind them. 

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