It’s like, por favor paren!
1. Are you sure you’re Latino? 
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Friends and family start to disown you because you keep hurling because as a Latino, you’re expected to know how to down seven shots of Don Julio.
2. You’re reminded of stupid sh*t you did the time before.
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Like that tattoo on your trasero that says Carmen <3.
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3. You’re always under surveillance.
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Your family and best friends hire a babysitter, or a drone, so they can monitor your drinking.
4. They hand you the light stuff.
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Like Kombucha because its the vegan beer, right? Or a Corona Light with a lime.
5. They take commemorative portraits.
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Your picture of all the pranks they did to you while you passed out is hung over the fireplace next to your quince picture like a trophy.
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6. You get stood up.
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I know we agreed to go to the movies, but we really wanted to go to Vegas, so we went without you.
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7. You become the official DD.
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You become the group’s designated driver for all occasions involving alcohol, practically all occasions. Such an honor.
8. They schedule an intervention.
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They called it a potluck, but they really just care about you and love you so much.
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9. Or resort to 420.
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They beg you to get your card so you can resort to that while they have their buzz going. This won’t make you throw up your insides.
10. Non-stop shade. Every time you see family.
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They sneak in an O’Douls to try to fool you into thinking you are drinking alcoholic beer and watch you act a fool when you think you’re buzzed.
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11. They baptize you with a new nickname like La Barfy.
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Every friend and cousin has a nickname for you from that epic night.
