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The Official Ted Cruz Burn Book

We’ve been so distracted with Donald Trump’s presidential circus, err campaign, that we’ve managed to ignore how crazy Ted Cruz is! He’s so crazy that friends and co-workers actually hate him…which is why we bring you this burn book, Mean Girls style. (Surprisingly, most of the sh*t talking comes from those who are supposed to be his allies – the Republicans).

“I just don’t like the guy.”

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“He’s a jackass” and “a pain in the you-know-what.”

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“There’s not a lot of love lost for the guy.”

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“It’s a classic show-horse-versus-workhorse dynamic.”

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CREDIT: THEPOSITVECATTITUDE / TUMBLR

John Hart, former communications director for Coburn, said when admitting that Ted Cruz makes a lot of noise in the Senate, but gets little work done. Which basically means he’s lazy, like a lazy cat.

“He’s hated by the political establishment.”

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“He’s a little bit of a maniac” and “doesn’t have the right judgment.”

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“Why do people take such instant dislike to Ted Cruz? It just saves time.”

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CREDIT: ERAMUSLOCA / TUMBLR

Said a Bush 2000 alumnus, who explained that people should just not waste their time with him. Burn baby, burn.

“They hate him as they have hated no Senator before him.”

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“Ted Cruz is a nightmare of a human being.”

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CREDIT: YOURREACTIONGIFS / TUMBLR

Even his former roommate hates his guts. Yep, that’s what Craig Mazin, Ted Cruz’s former Princeton roommate said. And he continued “I have plenty of problems with his politics, but truthfully his personality is so awful that 99 percent of why I hate him is just his personality. If he agreed with me on every issue, I would hate him only one percent less.”

What else are others saying about Ted Cruz? Do you like the guy? Don’t forget to share this story with your friends by clicking the button below!

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com

Ted Cruz is Roasted On Twitter After Posting Bizarre Video Saying He Was ‘Heckled’ at the Border By Cartel Members

Things That Matter

Ted Cruz is Roasted On Twitter After Posting Bizarre Video Saying He Was ‘Heckled’ at the Border By Cartel Members

Photo via Twitter

Ted Cruz is, once again, in the headlines. The Texas senator took a break from feuding with celebrities on Twitter to take another trip to Mexico. But this time around, Rafael Cruz wasn’t fleeing his state for a quick Cancun getaway.

This past weekend, Senator Cruz took a trip to the U.S./Mexico border along with 18 other Republican senators. Their mission, ostensibly, was to shine a light on what they deem to be a “border crisis”.

Instead, what ended up grabbing headlines was Ted Cruz’s bizarre documentary-style video of the trip that he released on Twitter.

Surrounded by tall grass, Ted Cruz addresses the camera in hushed tones, much like he was hosting a nature documentary. “So it’s past midnight. I’m standing on the shore of the Rio Grande. I’m down at the Texas border along with 18 senators who made the trip to see the crisis that is playing out.”

In the grainy video, he continues: “On the other side of the river we have been listening to and seeing cartel members – human traffickers – right on the other side of the river waving flashlights, yelling and taunting Americans, taunting the border patrol.”

Later, Ted Cruz also visited a migrant shelter and attempted to film the migrants for his social media posts.

A worker intercepted Senator Cruz and repeatedly asked him to respect the migrants and stop filming. “Please respect the rules sir, and give the people dignity and respect,” says the woman. “Full heartedly I ask you, please respect the people. This is not a zoo, sir, please don’t treat the people as such.”

Indignant, Sen. Cruz refused to comply. “You were instructed to ask us to not have any pictures taken here, because the political leadership at DHS does not want the American people to know,” he responds.

Despite Rafael Cruz‘s goal of bringing attention to what’s happening at the border, his nature documentary ended up being what really captured the internet’s attention.

As is usual with Rafael Cruz, the internet couldn’t help but see his Crocodile Dundee-style documentary as the ploy that it was. And because Rafael is so easy to drag, that’s exactly what the internet did.

Mainly, Twitter mocked Ted Cruz for the irony of him being in Mexico when he was just there weeks ago under very, very different circumstances.

The jokes kept coming…

And coming…

And coming.

The bottom line is, Ted Cruz never publicly cared about the huminitatirna crisis of border camps (which, by the way, are problematic) when Trump was president.

But now, Ted Cruz is using the increased migrant numbers as an opportunity to virtue signal and fan the flames of fear among Americans. As Texas Rep. Veronica Escobar said, Cruz’s Rio Grande trip was “political theater”.

“These are people who are about to engage in political theater, use the border as a prop, [and] do a whole lot of complaining and finger-pointing,” she said in a recent podcast interview. “But these are the same people who’ve been in the Senate for a number of years.”

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Daisy Ridley Claps Back at Ted Cruz After He Subtly Insulted Her ‘Star Wars’ Character

Entertainment

Daisy Ridley Claps Back at Ted Cruz After He Subtly Insulted Her ‘Star Wars’ Character

Photos via Getty Images

It seems like Ted Cruz can’t stay away from the spotlight. On the heels of a very public* scandal, Cruz is now drumming up some more controversy for himself. But now he’s inserting himself into some pre-existing drama.

This time, Rafael Cruz decided to share his opinion on a recent dispute in the Star Wars universe. Yes, you read that right.

Ted Cruz–who has had his fair share of celebrity feuds— decided to pick a fight with Star Wars actress, Daisy Ridley.

The drama started when Cruz tweeted about the ongoing conflict between Disney and “The Mandalorian” actress, Gina Carano.

As background, Disney fired Carano from the hit show after she shared various controversial, far-right opinions on social media. Her posts included anti-mask rhetoric, Q-Anon conspiracies, and promoting false election fraud rumors. Oh, and she also compared being a conservative in Hollywood to being a Jew in Nazi Germany.

Since Carano’s firing, many conservative figures have publicly come to her defense. One of them being Ted Cruz.

Recently, Rafael tweeted out: “Texan Gina Carano broke barriers in the Star Wars universe: not a princess, not a victim, not some emotionally tortured Jedi. She played a woman who kicked ass & who girls looked up to. She was instrumental in making Star Wars fun again. Of course Disney canceled her.”

For those who aren’t well versed in the Star Wars universe, Cruz’s tweet seemed to be throwing subtle shade at the character of Rey–a female Jedi in the most recent Star Wars trilogy. Sure, you could call Rey “emotionally tortured”…or you could call her a normal person who expresses normal feelings. *Shrug*

Anyway, Daisy Ridley–the actress who played Rey–soon caught wind of the diss when an interviewer brought it to her attention.

The interviewer than asked if Ridley had any response to her character being classified as an “emotionally tortured Jedi”.At first, Ridley seemed visibly surprised that Cruz shaded her character. But she quickly regained her composure–as well as her wit.

“I am very happy to be an emotionally tortured Jedi who doesn’t leave their state when it’s having a terrible time,” she quipped.

Looks like Cruz had to learn the hard way not to mess with the Force.

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com