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9 Things That Happened While I Dated Outside My Race

In a country as diverse as the U.S., there are millions of couples who come from different cultural backgrounds. While dating a gringo or a European guy might present some challenges, it can also be a very enriching experience. This is my personal experience of the good and not-so-good of dating a Dutch man.

You get to try authentic food from a country you’re not familiar with.

gifsme / Tumblr
gifsme / Tumblr

Although I’ll never eat raw herring again, I’m sure going to miss the stroopwafel supply (two thin waffles stuck together with a layer of sweet syrup) his mom used to send on a regular basis. Spread some arequipe on top and you have your own Ducth-Colombian culinary deliciousness.

If you have kids, chances are they’ll grow up bilingual.

bilingual bebe

Traveling becomes more attainable.

TRAVEL

There is always something new to learn.

SALSA
CREDIT: SALSAMEMES

I got to learn so much about his food and culture and on the flipside, I *tried* to teach him some salsa moves.

Language can be a bridge or a barrier.

LANGUAGE
CREDIT: FLUENTU

While dating someone who speaks a different language can be all fun and exciting (bebés bilingües!) It can also be a drag. My ex didn’t understand much Spanish, and his lack of interest in learning made most get-togethers with my friends (mostly first generation immigrants who speak primarily Spanish) a little uncomfortable.

Yeah, I’m gonna say it: interracial couples look GOODDD together.

good

 

And that’s probably why you get a ton of looks.

LOOKS
CREDIT: FUNNYCAPTIONS

People would stare in disapproval as if they had the slightest right to criticize our relationship.

And when people get real bold, they ask things like “How does your mom feel about you dating a white dude?”

big deal 2

But in the end, it’s not the haters who are in the relationship. It’s you.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BP5MDupDT8B/

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*Disclaimer: Not me in the picture, just another adorable mixed couple.*


READ: 9 Dating Tips My Abuelita Gave Me That Saved My Relationships

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Have A Virtual Hot Date? Here’s How To Make Sure It Doesn’t Suck

Culture

Have A Virtual Hot Date? Here’s How To Make Sure It Doesn’t Suck

MixMedia / Getty Images

For the single introverts among us, lockdown might seem like the perfect opportunity to re-charge our social batteries and have some much needed alone-time. But no, thanks to the wonders of technology and just how damn adaptable human beings are, virtual dating has totally become a thing. 

For better or for worse, people are dating just as much as ever – albeit through a screen. So if you’re using dating apps during lockdown, arranging video dates and looking for virtual date ideas, here’s a handy guide on how to stay safe and how to ace virtual dating.

Make a damn effort

Act as if the date was in person and get ready accordingly. Shower if you haven’t already that day — it’ll make you feel a lot better — and put on your favorite outfit. Even if it’s not seasonally appropriate, who cares? Wear the sundress pushed all the way back in your closet. Put on makeup if that’s your thing, and do your hair. 

It makes all the difference not only in how you present yourself but by how you perceive yourself. You’ll feel better on the date, more like your “usual” self. 

Figure out your camera setup beforehand

Pro-tip: Do all this the day before, or at least an hour before, the date starts. That way you’re not scrambling and worrying about your angles. Decide if you’re going to use your phone or computer. Put it at eye-level, if possible. If you’re using a laptop, you can place it on a stack of books, but you can also DIY it by leaning your phone against your laptop screen (which can have its own book stack setup) or anything else you can find. 

And…lighting…lighting….lighting! Set yourself up with some good, flattering lighting before you start the call. Find a place that’s the most flattering in your house. Be sure you’re not backlit by a window which can wash out your face.

Simulate real date ideas

Credit: Luis Alvarez / Getty Images

Although you obviously can’t “grab a drink” together, you can simulate that. Text before the date and decide if you’ll be drinking wine, coffee, or eating dinner “together.” You can even do a twist on “Netflix and chill,” simultaneously using Netflix’s “party” function; if you go that route, choose something campy or that you’ve both seen before so you can chat easily during it.

Trust your instincts

“A nip slip may not be appropriate for a date with a new person,” Moraya DeGeare, a licensed marriage and family therapist, joked to Refinery 29. “It’s modern times, so I think there will be the temptation for people to be really bold and ask about FaceTime sex. People are horny and trapped in their houses. On one hand, that’s okay, but on the other, you’re risking someone taking screenshots,” she cautions. “Listen to your intuition and don’t do something you don’t feel comfortable with.”

She adds that you shouldn’t take the call from bed, because “you’re immediately sending all these other signals unintentionally.” Generally, she says you should conduct the date as you would in person.

Expect awkwardness to happen, because it will happen

Credit: Peter Dazely / Getty Images

Awkwardness isn’t necessarily a bad thing and, when dating is involved, it’s inevitable. First dates in real life have their own clumsy moments, so don’t beat yourself up if your camera freezes for a moment, or if you talk over the other person. It’s going to happen! Just laugh about it and move on.

Stay safe and comfortable

Although it may seem like common sense, being cooped up inside for so long has left many of us lacking some of the most basic people skills. Remember to not give out any of your personal details – think home address and bank details – and watch out for any suspicious links that might come through in the chat.

Before the date, it’s also a good idea to do some recon on your date’s social media to make sure they are who they say they are. Also, don’t show your face on camera if they’re not showing theirs, that’s a serious red flag.

And lastly, know that you can end the date whenever you want to. You don’t owe anybody anything and it’s totally fine if you’re feeling uncomfortable or in danger to just end the call. But remember, basic dating etiquete also still remains so don’t just close your computer screen without saying goodbye because you’re just not feeling the vibe.

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Man Records His Mother’s Vile Anti-Gay Religious Rant After He Tells Her He Is Engaged

Culture

Man Records His Mother’s Vile Anti-Gay Religious Rant After He Tells Her He Is Engaged

henrit0 / Instagram

Henry Jimenez wanted to share the news with his mother that he was finally engaged to his boyfriend. Instead of her being kind to him she launched into a vile and hateful anti-gay rant she disguised as a religious matter. The video of the encounter will break your heart and the son breaks down in tears over her angry words.

Henry Jimenez broke hearts when he posted a video of his mother’s anti-gay, religious rant.

Jimenez shared the news with his mother that he was engaged. The influencer, as so many Latinos, wanted to share in the moment with his mother. He knew what would happen but still wanted to give his mother a chance to know. What followed was a hateful rant that would leave any child in tears.

At one point in the video, the mother says that her son being gay and engaged is going to kill her faster. You can see Jimenez’s heart break when his mother continued her verbal assault about how he is a sinner.

People are stunned that the mother could speak that way to her child.

Credit: _fanyluu / Instagram

“How sad that she is so blind,” wrote _fanyluu. “And how ugly that she is such a blackmailer telling you that you are going to kill her…very bad on her part.”

Seeing moments like this are heartbreaking but create a stronger community of support.

Credit: andrewtorpie / Instagram

Being gay is one of the scariest things. The moment someone realizes that they are gay they immediately become different and have a secret from everyone else. It can be alienating and terrifying to navigate alone. Fortunately, social media created a safe space for LGBTQ+ people to connect and continues to be a valuable resource for LGBTQ+ people.

Despite the video, Jimenez’s love for his fiance is real and enduring.

Congratulations on your engagement, Henry! Love is love is love. We love to see two people happy and in love. May your marriage be filled with all of the happiness and love you two clearly deserve.

READ: A Gay Single Father Of 3 Is Using TikTok To Share His Family’s Love With The World

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