Your crush just liked your bomb-ass selfie on Instagram and you are literally dying. We’ve all been there, but this is what his double tap truly means…
“Luis is a family name so our first son will be Luis Héctor after him and my dad. Then our first daughter will be Yolanda after my mom. Where’s my notebook?”
And then he likes another post and you know it’s game over.
There comes a time in a young woman’s life when she has to venture out into the world and experience everything out there that the world has to offer. And yes, “everything” includes sex. And while sex is a totally natural and expected step in a young woman’s coming-of-age journey, the Latinx community often holds notoriously conservative views about when it’s “okay” for a young woman to have sex for the first time.
This conservative attitude towards woman and sex is nowhere more prominent than it is in the minds of Latinx mothers. Many Latinx moms, especially from older generations, have been trained to believe that a young woman’s worth is tied to her virginity and that it’s a sin to have sex out of wedlock. This attitude makes it hard for girls to talk to their parents about sex, which means a large portion of the Latina population is uneducated about STIs, unwanted pregnancy, contraception, and how being sexually active can impact your emotions. Because of the shame surrounding extramarital sex in the Latinx community, many young women hide the fact that they’ve been having sex from their mothers in order to avoid conflict or avoid being shamed.
That’s why Fierce by mitú took to our Instagram page to ask our followers how their madres reacted when they found out their daughters were no longer virgins. We also wanted to know if our followers decided to keep their virginity statuses to themselves.
Check out the answers below!
1. This mom’s nosiness gave her more than she bargained for
@addictivestock/Instagram
“My mom found out I was having sex when I was 23 years old and she found my birth control (cringe!). This is a pretty common story I share with a lot of my friends but the way my mom found out was pretty mortifying. My novio, who I have been dating since I was 14 and who she has known for as many years, was over at the house. Because my mom has always been very nosey and a helicopter mom I would give him my birth control for safe keeping (For so many reasons Don’t DO THIS!!) Anyway. The birth control fell out of his bag and my mom flipped out. Any other scenario, had I hid it in a closet or sock drawer she would have found out sooner but I probably could have convinced her it was just for acne.” – Veronica, Chicago
2. This mama read between the lines and stayed silent
@lcdfotografia/Instagram
“I kind of had to fess up to my mom because I was moving in with my boyfriend. She’d been asking me since we started dating if I was using protection over and over again and I was too embarrassed to even say that we were having sex. I finally just told her that I was moving in with him and I think she got the deal.” Kathryn, Los Angeles
3. This mom insisted she could tell by just LOOKING at her daughter
@addictivestock/Instagram
“I told my mom years after, but she swears she knew the night I came home that it happened. I’m like c’mon, Mom. No way did you know. But, you know how they are–they know EVERYTHING.” – Laney, San Bernadino
4. The old “hyper-emotional” reaction
@addictivestock/Instagram
“My mom cried so so hard and then instantly got mad at me and gave me the silent treatment. She also claimed she “knew” that I wasn’t anymore anyhow ’cause I “started talking back”. But, I was 21 at that point!” – Yvette
5. The mom who doesn’t know…but c’mon: she knows
@precious.earth.nature/Instagram
“To [my mom] I’m still [a virgin] ’till I’m married….Nahhh I think she probably suspects I’m not by now”. – Connie, Southern California
6. The mom who lives in blissful ignorance
@maarjavahiphotography/Instagram
“I’m 30 years old and still haven’t told my mom. At this point she’s gotta suspect I’m not [a virgin]. But at least I waited until I was 19!” Anna, Chicago
7. The Suffocating Silence
@jevgenijasorokina/Instagram
“Literally my current situation, lol. I want to tell her but, I’m afraid of her reaction. I don’t think she’ll be mad, but I really would hate for her to cry about it. Send help!” Darlene, Riverside
8. The “Live Your Life” Type of Mom
@olga_lukaneva/Instagram
“I keep it to myself, but I’m pretty sure she knows me better. 😉 ” – Belle, Puerto Rico
9. The “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Policy
@bailandoconjulieta/Instagram
“She never asked and I never told her… but for what it’s worth, I waited till I was at least 18.” Tania, Los Angeles
10. The Mom Who Tries and Fails to Guilt Trip
@glam_.dps/Instagram
“She said: ‘Why didnt [you] wait ’till marriage like [I] told over and over again?’. So, I said: “Who said I’ll ever get married?” Lizet, Bakersfield, CA
11. This mom who started crying when she walked in on the act
“I had skipped school to lose my virginity to my high school boyfriend. We had planned it out so that I would play sick and he would skip school and do it when my parents were out of the house. They boy work long hours so we figured we had some time. The actual act went well, but literally just as we finished we heard my front door open. No snuggling. We both jumped up to hide. I’ve always thought it took maybe 30 steps to get from my front door to my room, my mom took five. My boyfriend ducked out of the bathroom and somehow my mom got to the front of the house to confront him. I mean he had no shirt on and was pulling him his pants. She knew. She knew so much she cried.” Ana, Austin, TX
Maybe we all deserve hundreds more Jessica Torres to remind us that this world and its fashion isn’t just for las flacas. Jessica Torres is a plus-size model and body positive activist who isn’t going to be shamed for hiding her nalgas or accentuating the “right” curves. We have all the curves which means they’re all right.
Jessica Torres is keeping it real and combatting fat shaming by just straight up loving her self and her body. She’s calling out magazines every time they reshape a woman’s mind to cover their belly or show it off. She’s posting images of the “most unflattering outfit for [her] body type” to prove a point to the fashion industry. Fashion for plus-size women shouldn’t be about how to best cover and mask their bodies. It should be about fashion. If Jessica Torres isn’t the most fashionable chingona from the Bronx, we don’t know who is. I said it.
Her journey towards crop tops wasn’t out of self-love, but rather a love for fashion.
Credit: thisisjessicatorres / Instagram
She started her plus-size style blog to show off her outfits and inspire other plus-size women to live “fashionable fat lives,” she writes for HipLatina. Her blog was meant to be a stepping stone to get a job in fashion.
Torres essentially became a body positive advocate by accident.
Credit: thisisjessicatorres / Instagram
“Any plus-size body that grows a following on social media and takes full body pictures is instantly labeled a self-acceptance warrior,” she said. She was just wearing bright colors and modeling off the clothes that inspire her, and a social media following just naturally happened.
Still, she didn’t love her body.
Credit: thisisjessicatorres / Instagram
But she did notice that she was holding herself back from embracing a diverse range of fashion because of her “body type.” Magazines love to dress women like they’re fruit: pear shapes, apple shapes, etc. Instead of dressing women for fashion, the clothes are meant to hide certain parts of their bodies.
Once she realized she was holding her fashion style back because of the “hate” she had for her body, she knew she needed to change.
Credit: @thisisjessicat / Twitter
Like so many of us, she didn’t walk outside in a crop top and a skirt for the first time feeling confident and gleaming with body positivity. But you fake it till you make it, and now, Jessica Torres identifies as a self-acceptance advocate.
For every outfit she was afraid to wear, she had the courage to open up about it on social media.
Credit: thisisjessicatorres / Instagram
She started sharing stories of being fat-shamed at the doctor and saw the comment threads as a communal space of support and inspiration for other ladies living while fat. When she was afraid to wear a two-piece for the first time, she wrote about that, too, and found other women who gained the courage to do the same in solidarity.
As her following grows, she’s also experienced fat-shaming within the body-positivity community.
Credit: thisisjessicatorres / Instagram
Her body was always being compared to Ashley Graham’s or Iskra Lawrence. When Torres went up a single size in pants, she noticed how society still only accepts certain curves that are deemed beautiful. Meanwhile, others promote obesity.
Torres is staying present to the hypocrisies and to her self.
Credit: thisisjessicatorres / Instagram
Caption: “Throwing it back to that time I was butt nekkid and wet and Kelly told me to sit on her lap.”
Being a social media influencer hasn’t made her any less real.
Credit: @thisisjessicat / Twitter
Torres has partnered with Mod Cloth, Dove, and JcPenney to promote body positivity. She’s sharing her insider tips for strapless bras with the thickest, most comfy straps. She’s also still a person who tells publicists she farted. 😂
She’s not playing like her life is all together.
Credit: @thisisjessicat / Twitter
While this would be very disappointing for all our mamis to read, it is deeply comforting to us all who have been traumatized by Saturday limpias. Where’s the link, Jessica?
Jessica Torres is the boss of all of us, and that’s how we like it.
Credit: @thisisjessicat / Twitter
Tell me more about how I can all parts of myself, not just the ones that make me look like an hourglass. Who chose hourglasses as the epitome of sexiness anyway? All we know is that self-hate is a time thief and we’re done robbing ourselves of love, time and fashion, thanks to Jessica Torres.
