So, you’re one of the ones that left the nest, huh? That’s cool, so did I. I lived in Brooklyn and paid $9823759 a month for a 10×10 room – and I had zero regrets (that I’ll talk about later). I decided to leave NYC and move back home to Miami where I quickly learned what moving back home means…
You’ll experience round 2 of the guilt trip you got when you decided to leave.
“¿Qué pasó? ¿Te fayó el plan? ¿No que te creías muy grande?”
Then they’ll be so happy and spoil you to death.
By this, I mean feed you forever and make you re-gain those freshmen 15 from college. Don’t worry, mom will point that out soon enough!
They might just fix up your old room again.
CREDIT: SNL/ NBC
If not, you’re stuck sharing your room with abuelita that she claimed the very day you left to college.
…But then, reality sets in.
Pros of living at home: free food/no rent. Cons of living at home: everything else
— Maris Smith (@marisvay) July 27, 2016
Oh, you know they were waiting for this to happen!
Going out past 9:00 p.m. is met with many, many concerns.
Am I the only one who gets scared to ask their mom to go out ? #latinamom
— Wonder Twin 1 (@ludymancy) July 7, 2016
“But it’s so late!” “Who are you going with?” “Do you really want to leave now?” “How will I sleep knowing you’re out so late?”
You will become internal IT support.
CREDIT: MODERN FAMILY/ABC
They can’t connect to WiFi? They can’t figure out how to post on Facebook? They WILL expect you to teach them how to do it because apparently, we’re all computer geniuses.
Your dating life is Netflix & Chill…by yourself.
CREDIT: PRETTY LITTLE LIARS/ FREEFORM
The thought of bringing anyone home to your parents’ house is enough to make you cringe forever so getting creative is key…
You will have to come up for a codeword for those Tinder dates.
When you’re on your own, that dude you hung out with a few times and lost touch with is no big deal, but mention a man’s name around mom ONCE and she will be asking about “that boy you met in Wynwood” for about four months and she’ll want to know when she can meet him. Don’t do it.
You won’t have any control over the dinner menu.
CREDIT: NEW GIRL/FOX
It’ll be full of surprises…but free and delicious. Requests of your favorite childhood meals will be fulfilled every now and then, so you still have it pretty good, even if you can’t eat nachos at your heart’s content (every day) anymore. It’s a tough life, I know. :p
They’ll think 6 a.m. is an appropriate time to wake you up to sit around for un café.
— Kevin Luna (@kevinluna8313) May 14, 2016
Absolutely. No. Privacy.
living at home & not having the freedom to walk around naked all the time is rly hard
— bex (@beckkmcdaid) July 28, 2016
Oh, and every outfit will be judged. Actually, everything will be judged. But what did you really expect?
You’ll receive many passive-aggressive texts about everything you didn’t do around the house.
Nothing is cooler than getting an 11:37 p.m. “why is your bathroom una porqueria?” text while you’re out having drinks with your friends. And you literally probably only left your CHI on the counter. SMH.
Then they’ll say the words you never thought you’d hear when they say they’ll be happy when you move out…
CREDIT: JANE THE VIRGIN/CW
…and then cry and bring on guilt trip 3 when you actually talk about doing it again.
But, this is only temporary, right?
CREDIT: RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE/ LOGO
Even after seemingly hating and nagging you as an adult roommate, they’ll still love you and support you as their adult child in your next phase, whatever it may be. Now, get out.