11 Rules Every Latino Unconsciously Lives By
Let’s face it. Not only is our culture embedded in our DNA, it’s also super-apparent in our habits. Don’t believe it? You’re more Latino than you think and these rules will prove it.
Never Arrive Before the Party Starts
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Latinos are never early and “aquí estoy en la esquina” isn’t a lie, but more a tactic to get you out the door when your friend is on her way to pick you up to go to a party.
Respect Thy Mamá
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How dare you talk back to your mom?! Say you’re sorry, quick! Disrespecting your mom is like violating a cardinal sin. Wait until Mom tells Dad. Gulp.
Don’t Speak When He’s Speaking
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You know better than to speak when Abuelita is watching Walter Mercado give his horóscopo. Talking while he speaks is like shouting in Mass. You ought to know better.
Bribe Younger Siblings
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That nervous apology followed by the best bribe you can think of: “I’ll give you my soul, just don’t tell Mom!”
Never Say No to Carne Asada
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Carne asada? Of course you’ll be there. It’s the only place you won’t get charged for extra guac.
Always Cook in Large Amounts
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There must always be enough food to feed everyone in the family… three times… and take leftovers.
Meemees Always Takes Priority
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Story time before bed is the best! You got to learn about Latino mythical creatures like El Cucuy and El Chupacabra. So basically you won’t be going meemees anytime soon. Thanks Mom.
Don’t Say No to Abuelita
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Abuelitas are here to feed you. Don’t you dare say “no” or else you’ll hear a sad: “Porque me desprecias?” Or a persistent: “You look too skinny, have some food.” Or an angry: “Finish your food. In my country people would do anything to have a meal like this.”
Think Before You Act Because “God Sees Everything”
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The notorious Latino guilt trip can easily manipulate you into doing the right thing. Oh, you lied? You don’t have to admit what you did. “That’s between you and Him. Yo no soy la que mando,” Mom says with her arms up. You’ll never forget God is watching you.
Use Abuelita as Your Protector
When your grandma tells your mom to leave you alone pic.twitter.com/FZo7AUDaWm
— Sarcasm 🙂 (@SarcasmPage) April 12, 2015
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Lucky you, Abuelita always has your back. “Déjalo está chiquito.” Having Abuelita around is like having a get out of jail free card.
You’re in Command When Mom’s Away… with the Help of Backup
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When mom is away, you get to throw around the ol’: “Mom said you have to do everything I say.” Then your siblings act out and you’re upset and arguing. Luckily, you have Mama on speed dial in case of emergency.
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