Latino parents are the best! They take care of you when you’re sick, love you unconditionally, and will pick up some Jack In The Box whenever you want. But when it comes to staying out late, they can be strict (to say the least). Once you pass your curfew, even if it’s just by a minute, they come at you with the, “te mandas solo,” “eres un vago” or my personal favorite, “vas a ver cuando llegues a la casa.” They are definitely not about that callejero life. Here are 7 things Latino parents do that are all too real.
1. They send you a seemingly innocent text.
When your mom or your dad send you something like, “¿ya casi llegas?”, it’s your cue to bounce. If you don’t, be warned, if their rage hasn’t started brewing, it will.
2. They watch telenovela reruns and enjoy snacks while they wait.
Sure, they might be enjoying Sauced & Loaded Fries from Jack In The Box while watching their fave novela, but don’t think for a second that they’re too busy to watch the door attentively.
Because they WILL wait for you to get home. As.???????? Long. ???????? As. ???????? It. ???????? Takes.
3. If you’re still not home, they call you a million times. No. Joke.
I mean, there’s only so much novela drama they can take before they start to crave it. It’s like, the drama takes over their body. And it usually goes down something like this:
They call you once. You don’t answer.
They call you twice… You still don’t answer.
That’s when things get cray, their sass comes out…
…and they get extra.
4. They send the warning text.
If you still don’t answer…they start getting ready! First, they send you a warning text.
Trust me, once you get this text, there’s no going back–you won’t hear the end of it!
Then, they gather their army of minions.
5. They practice the speech.
Oh you thought the regañada was just improvised? Nope, your parents have been finessing their speech for years! Why do you think it’s so perfect?
When you do get home, they start off with the full-blown works: “¿qué son estas horas de llegar?”, “¿dónde andabas?”, “¿con quién andabas?”. Then they remind you of the house rules, layer on the guilt, add a whole lot of drama, and just in case, they top it off with an extra serving of guilt. Finally, they end with the biggest philosophical question of the century…
6. They wait up for you…in the most terrifying way. ????
You walk up to your front door, everything seems chill: the lights are off, you don’t hear a sound, and the entire house is very still. You think to yourself, “chingón, they’re asleep!” But, is it too good to be true? Is there such a thing as too quiet? Just when you were about to do your silent victory dance, you see a shadow…it’s your mom looking straight at you with a piercing look.
7. You know what comes next…
Sorry my friend, that was just the beginning–the calm before the storm. I won’t get into the deets of what comes next because things get messy and I’m not about that life. But if you must know, here’s a preview…
La regañada is an intricate and complex process that can take hours, and since you’re already late, you may as well stop at Jack In The Box and load up on Sauced & Loaded Fries!
Like and share if your parents do this when you stay out late!
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