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Non-Offensive Clapbacks To Family Chisme

Credit: Teresa / Televisa / mitu

It is possible to have a stress-free holiday even when your family is constantly giving you the third degree about the most personal aspects of your life.

Giphy
CREDIT: The Simpsons / FOX via Giphy

We’ve narrowed down the perfect distracting responses to the most common questions chismosas ask including, but not limited to: “y el novio?”, “y la dieta?”, “tienes trabajo?”, “cuando vas a tener hijos?”, “todavia andas con ese cualquier?”, “no has comprado casa?” etc.

1. “Who wants to play lotería?”

Jugando lotería @mayelirivera con la #Familia #MayeliRivera #Loteria #Tequila ?#TeamMayeli ?

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A round of lotería always gets the party going. If you play for money and get loaded while you’re at it, your relatives will be drunk in no time.

2. “What time is the posada?”


Your relatives love to sing, despite being tone-deaf. Once you get them on board for the posada, they’ll forget what they were asking you about in the first place.

3. “Dale, dale, dale!”

#posada

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Once you utter the word “piñata” every kid will be screaming so loud that it will drown out your more intrusive relatives.

4. “Oh man, I have to go help my mom with the tamales.”

Mexican mannequin challenge ? Happy thanksgiving day!! ?? #makingtamales

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You never deny your mom when she needs help. So when that chismoso comes around, just say that your mom needs you and they’ll back away fast.

5. “Y los Reyes Magos?”

#christmasingranada #christmas #eacgranada #threekings #losreyesmagos

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Yes, that response might seem like it’s coming out of nowhere, but that’s why it’s so brilliant. Whether you inquire about where the statues are, or ask about the story of the Three Kings, you’ll look like a good religious niece or nephew for asking.

6. “Gotta fix the nativity scene, brb.”

Siempre como cada año tiene casi listo el nacimiento, ella siempre la mejor #nacimiento #posadas

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Speaking of Los Reyes Magos, what about Baby Jesus?! Going to fix or rearrange the nativity scene is the perfect way to get out of a gossipy conversation.

7. “Y la tía Cuca?”


Think of the most scandalous person in the family, and say aloud — to no one in particular — “Y la tía Cuca, cómo está?” That will shut everyone up so fast.

8. “I heard la Mari is knocked up.”

chisme
Credit: Teresa / Televisa / mitú

Rat someone else out in the family. Yes, disclosing a secret is low, and it’s a pretty desperate move, but either you go down or they do. It’s your call.

9. “Who’s ready to dance?!”


It is the holidays after all, so why is everyone talking and not dancing?! This is your chance to get the chismes to simmer down. Play a quebradita and watch how quickly people forget about chisme.


READ: Reasons Why You Refuse To Go To A Family Party If Your Primos Are Not There

If you have crazy chismosos in your family share this story! 

Michelle Obama Said She Checks For Drugs, Guns And Brothers In Houses Before Letting Her Girls Do Sleepovers And Same

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Michelle Obama Said She Checks For Drugs, Guns And Brothers In Houses Before Letting Her Girls Do Sleepovers And Same

Many of us can relate to the experiences that come from having overprotective parents. There’s no such thing as privacy. Essentially: your business is their business. You better be ready to tell your papa where you’re going, your mama who with, at what time you’re doing what you’re doing and what for before you even think of making those plans. As tough as this parental interference seems, it’s nothing compared to what our former First Daughters had to go through while living in the White House.

In a recent interview, former First Lady Michelle Obama shared the intense security measures that had to be followed whenever daughters Sasha and Malia ventured outside their Washington DC home.

Twitter / @Essence

Over the 4th of July weekend, Gayle King interviewed the former First Lady at this year’s Essence Festival in New Orleans where she talked about the ever-present security. With both of her daughters officially adults, Obama explained that she and her husband, Barack, are now empty-nesters but they still remember what life was like in the White House. She shared in the interview that the strict Secret Service details weren’t just an everyday occurrence in her girls’ lives. They were also more than a little intimidating for the parents of Sasha and Malia’s friends.

“Imagine having Malia and Sasha come to your house for a sleepover,” Obama said during the interview. “It’s like, ‘Hello. OK, we’re going to need your Social Security number, we’re going to need your date of birth. There are going to be men coming to sweep your house. If you have guns and drugs, just tell them yes because they are going to find them anyway. Don’t lie. They’re not going to take them, they just need to know where they are. And, uh, thank you for having Malia and Sasha over. Oh and by the way, there is going to be a man with a gun sitting outside all night. If you let him use the bathroom, that would be nice.’”

This little peek into their White House lives wasn’t the only topic of interest in her interview. Obama talked a bit about the current political climate as well.

Twitter / @PoliticusSarah

During the 2016 Presidential Election, Obama famously shared her philosophy of “going high” when your opponents go for low blows. Considering the atrocities that the current administration is responsible for, some question the validity of that philosophy now.

“I get asked: ‘In this climate, how do you find it in yourself to go high?'” Obama explained. “Going high is a long-term strategy. The truth is, going high is about trying to get to the real answer. Because a lot of the times the low answer is just our immediate instinct.”

Both Barack and Michelle have been careful about criticizing Donald Trump and his presidency. However, during this interview, she shared how she felt at the 2017 Inauguration when the Obamas turned the country over to the controversy-filled Trump administration.

“To sit at that inauguration and to look around at a crowd that was not reflective of the country, and I had to sit in that audience as one of the handfuls of people of color, all that I had to hold on to,” the former First Lady confessed. “It was a lot emotionally.”

Obama’s stunning new look was also the talk of the festival.

Twitter / @PageSix

The former First Lady appeared at the festival in a sparkling midnight blue jumpsuit by American designer Sergio Hudson. Hudson is a favorite designer of such celebrities as Cardi B, Rihanna, and Amal Clooney. Meredith Koop, Obama’s stylist, shared with Page Six Style that the 55-year-old “wanted something less formal but still with the disco edge of the [Hudson’s most recent] collection.” The result is a classy, fun ensemble that made Obama look every bit as dazzling as ever.

The look was finished with oversized Djula white gold and diamond hoops and a new curly hairstyle with blonde highlights. During her days in the White House, Obama’s personal style was harshly criticized and she was expected to keep a more conservative look. To see her now living her best life and embracing her natural hair texture is a thing of beauty.

Her look received rave reviews from Twitter as well.

Twitter / @JaniceDeul

As this Twitter user reminds us, beauty is diverse. For Obama to proudly show the diversity of her hair is to tell girls and women with similar textures that their hair is also beautiful. This is an important reminder in an age when Black beauty is still often whitewashed.

This Twitter user was all of us when we saw that sparkly jumpsuit.

Twitter / @broccolirobin

Obama gave us some Disco Diva feels with this ensemble. We can only hope we look half as good in our 50’s as the former First Lady did at the Essence Festival. Post-White House living is definitely working for her.

This List Of 17 Celebrities That You Didn’t Know Were Latino Will Leave You Wondering How You Didn’t Know

Entertainment

This List Of 17 Celebrities That You Didn’t Know Were Latino Will Leave You Wondering How You Didn’t Know

brunomars / camerondiaz / Instagram

We’ve all done it. You meet someone new, take one good look at them and ask (almost rhetorically): “So, where are you from?” Often we expect faces to match exotic countries around the world, but frequently the response, complemented with a puzzled expression, is something like: “Oh, umm Michigan…”

But Latinos come in all shapes, sizes, and colors, We can be white and blonde gueros, we can be black, and every color in between. We are gay, Muslim, Asian, Jewish, Indigenous, and so much more.

Here are 32 Latino celebrities that you probably didn’t know are, in fact, Latino.

1. Nicole Richie

Credit: @TheAffinityMag / Twitter

You likely know Nicole Richie as Lionel Richie’s daughter and from “The Simple Life” with bestie Paris Hilton. Nicole was actually adopted by Lionel and her biological family has Mexican ancestry.

I mean people really didn’t know…

Credit: @marsisbored / Twitter

Like it was a serious shock apparently to many across social media.

2. Aubrey Plaza

Credit: plazadeaubrey / Instagram

The Parks and Recreation star is boricua pa’que lo sepas, but in several interviews, she said that people never think she’s Puerto Rican. “I’m very fair-skinned, but I feel really connected to that side of my family.”

3. Alexis Bedel

Credit: gilmoregirlsbr / Instagram

Yep, it’s true! The actress, best known for her role as Rory Gilmore on Gilmore Girls, was born to Argentinian parents (her mom grew up in Mexico) and raised in a Spanish-speaking household. She’s told Latina that she’s often assumed to be Irish.

4. Bruno Mars

Credit: brunomars / Instagram

Born Peter Hernandez to Puerto Rican and Filipino parents, Mars changed his name to avoid being stereotyped in the music industry, he told GQ.com. “People would say, ‘Your last name’s Hernandez, maybe you should do Latin music … Enrique Iglesias is so hot right now!'”

5. Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi

Credit: snooki / Instagram

Jersey Shore star Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi made a name for herself as the (very tan) of New Jersey’s Italian-Americans. But she was actually born in Chile and adopted by an Italian-American family when she was just six months old.

6. Cameron Diaz

Credit: camerondiaz / Instagram

Cameron Diaz’s father is of Cuban descent, born and raised in Tampa, Florida’s Ybor City. The bubbly blonde actress told Vogue magazine she spent part of her summers as a child in Tampa with her over-protective grandmother, “playing cards, eating steak and rice and beans and drinking RC Cola and watching soap operas.”

7. Jessica Alba

Credit: @kryptonmarvel / Twitter

Actress Jessica Alba’s father is Mexican-American, and she says she takes pride in being Latina, despite rumors to the contrary.

8. Sara Paxton

Credit: sara_paxton / Instagram

WIth roles on “Good Girls” and “Last House on the Left”, blonde-haired, blue-eyed Sara says people are often surprised to learn she’s half Mexican.

“People never believe me,”she told The Huffington Post. “I think it’s because they have this stereotype of what a Latina’s supposed to look like, and I don’t fit that typical look.”

9. Hulk Hogan

Credit: Flickering Myth

Considered by some as the greatest professional wrestler ever, Hulk Hogan, born in Georgia. But did you know that he has Panamanian roots?

10. Kid Cudi

Credit: kidcudi / Instagram

Kid Cudi’s real name is Scott Ramon Seguro. His father is a proud Mexican-American.

11. Frankie Muniz

Credit: malcomscenes / Instagram

Everyone knew of Frankie Muniz while growing up thanks to “Malcolm in the Middle” and “Agent Cody Banks.”

While Frankie is his stage name, his real name is Francisco, probably thanks to his Puerto Rican father.

12. Raquel Welch

Credit: therealraquelwelch / Instagram

Raquel Welch’s apellido is Tejada. The soap opera star changed her name while trying to make it in Hollywood, but her father was born in La Paz, Bolivia.

13. Uma Thurman

Credit: umathurman / Instagram

You probably know Uma Thurman from her role in “Pulp Fiction” but did you know she has Mexican roots? Her mother, a fashion model named Nena von Schlebrügge, was born in Mexico City before moving to New York to be a model.

14. Vanna White

Credit: officialvannawhite / Instagram

You know her as the legendary hostess of Wheel of Fortune, but White – whose very last name hints that she’s Caucasian— is actually part-Latina!

You see, “White” is not Vanna’s real apellido—it’s the name she took from her stepfather Herbert Stackley WhiteJr., a former real estate agent in North Myrtle Beach.  Not much is known about Vanna’s real father whose name is Miguel Angel Rosich, except that he was born in Ponce, Puerto Rico and abandoned the family when she was a child.

15. Mark Ballas

Credit: markballas / Instagram

Professional ballroom dancer Mark Ballas (Dancing With the Stars) is half-Greek, and half-Mexican. Ballas’ paternal grandmother was named Maria Luisa Marulanda Ballas — and while she is not Latina herself — Ballas’ mother, Shirley Ballas is an award-winning dancer who won the 1995 International Latin American Dance Championship, earning the nickname “The Queen of Latin.” 

16. James Roday

Credit: jamesroday / Instagram

The last name trips people up, James says, but the Psych star, who’s half Mexican, changed it from Rodriguez to Roday when he launched his career for two reasons: There was already another James Rodriguez registered in the Screen Actors Guild, and an agent at the network where he landed his first job worried that they would look like they were skirting around issues of diversity by casting a white Latino.

17. Fergie

Credit: fergie / Instagram

Fergie was everywhere in the early 2000s as part of the musical group The Black Eyed Peas. But, now you know that she has Mexican ancestry in her family line.

READ: We Ranked Instagram’s 17 Most Followed Latino Celebrities And Their Claims to Fame

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