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Non-Offensive Clapbacks To Family Chisme

It is possible to have a stress-free holiday even when your family is constantly giving you the third degree about the most personal aspects of your life.

Giphy
CREDIT: The Simpsons / FOX via Giphy

We’ve narrowed down the perfect distracting responses to the most common questions chismosas ask including, but not limited to: “y el novio?”, “y la dieta?”, “tienes trabajo?”, “cuando vas a tener hijos?”, “todavia andas con ese cualquier?”, “no has comprado casa?” etc.

1. “Who wants to play lotería?”

Jugando lotería @mayelirivera con la #Familia #MayeliRivera #Loteria #Tequila ?#TeamMayeli ?

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A round of lotería always gets the party going. If you play for money and get loaded while you’re at it, your relatives will be drunk in no time.

2. “What time is the posada?”


Your relatives love to sing, despite being tone-deaf. Once you get them on board for the posada, they’ll forget what they were asking you about in the first place.

3. “Dale, dale, dale!”

#posada

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Once you utter the word “piñata” every kid will be screaming so loud that it will drown out your more intrusive relatives.

4. “Oh man, I have to go help my mom with the tamales.”

Mexican mannequin challenge ? Happy thanksgiving day!! ?? #makingtamales

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You never deny your mom when she needs help. So when that chismoso comes around, just say that your mom needs you and they’ll back away fast.

5. “Y los Reyes Magos?”

#christmasingranada #christmas #eacgranada #threekings #losreyesmagos

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Yes, that response might seem like it’s coming out of nowhere, but that’s why it’s so brilliant. Whether you inquire about where the statues are, or ask about the story of the Three Kings, you’ll look like a good religious niece or nephew for asking.

6. “Gotta fix the nativity scene, brb.”

Siempre como cada año tiene casi listo el nacimiento, ella siempre la mejor #nacimiento #posadas

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Speaking of Los Reyes Magos, what about Baby Jesus?! Going to fix or rearrange the nativity scene is the perfect way to get out of a gossipy conversation.

7. “Y la tía Cuca?”


Think of the most scandalous person in the family, and say aloud — to no one in particular — “Y la tía Cuca, cómo está?” That will shut everyone up so fast.

8. “I heard la Mari is knocked up.”

chisme
Credit: Teresa / Televisa / mitú

Rat someone else out in the family. Yes, disclosing a secret is low, and it’s a pretty desperate move, but either you go down or they do. It’s your call.

9. “Who’s ready to dance?!”


It is the holidays after all, so why is everyone talking and not dancing?! This is your chance to get the chismes to simmer down. Play a quebradita and watch how quickly people forget about chisme.


READ: Reasons Why You Refuse To Go To A Family Party If Your Primos Are Not There

If you have crazy chismosos in your family share this story! 

Latinas Are Sharing How They Protect Their Loved Ones From Coronavirus

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Latinas Are Sharing How They Protect Their Loved Ones From Coronavirus

padreezequiel / Instagram

As global leaders continue to instruct the public to stay at home and self-quarantine amidst the Coronavirus pandemic scare, we looked to our Latinas on Instagram. Curious to see how you all are handling the situation and assuring loved ones stay safe, we asked “what ways are you trying to keep your loved ones safe?”

Here’s what you had to say!

Keeping up with health measures.

“My parents (64 & 66) are staying active by gardening, going for walks, and spring cleaning. We are all staying hydrated, taking vitamins, and not going out. We are ordering everything we may need online or for pickup. We are also airing out our house daily.”– miss_davila27

Shopping for groceries online.

“Getting our groceries through instacart. I’ve been social distancing for years, so it pays off when you’re autistic and society already looks down upon people with disabilities.”– gnerdbriizy

Picking up pharmaceuticals for older family members.

“Please offer to pick up your loved ones medications from their pharmacy. Pharmacy distributors are currently allocating medications, meaning it’s difficult to get a hold on medications. And since lately we are taking every day day-by-day, smaller neighborhood pharmacies are worried about being forced to close for the mean time due to low stock. PLEASE OFFER TO PICK UP YOUR LOVED ONES MEDICATIONS AT THEIR PHARMACY”–theblurple

Eating the right kinds of foods.

“Making sure my husband is eating nutrient dense foods”– simply_bea_

Checking in on abuelos.

“Making sure my Abuelita’s r good. N my familia n I go get the things they need.”– nayelly_bean

Getting your exercise on lock.

“FaceTimed my mom last night (who is elderly & not the healthiest) to make sure she’s using those dumbbells at home while quarantining. Quarantine does not = sitting around doing nothing, I told her 😂😂💪🏽💪🏽 she probably hates me now.”–drtyd87

10 Disabled Latinas Killing It In Fashion And Beauty

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10 Disabled Latinas Killing It In Fashion And Beauty

sofiajirau / Instagram

Thanks to ableist movies like “Me Before You,” “Split” and “The Shape of Water,” when most people think of disabilities they often associate it with all things depressing, scary or pitiful. Mainstream media  consistently portrays disabilities in a way that have led many of us to believe that those in the community only come with one story and one shade: ones that are depressing and white. Fortunately, the stories of the disabled community are so much diverse, they’re beautiful, fierce, many are positive and all come in the many different skin tones that contribute to Fenty Beauty’s existence.

Here are nine Disabled Latinas who are challenging beauty standards and showing the world how beautiful and diverse Disabled Latina beauty is.

1. Tamara Mena

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Happy #cincodemayo!! ???????? I’m Proud to be #Mexican!! So with that said, today is NOT Mexico’s Independence Day!! Today, a really important battle was won that led us to our Independence Day on September 16th! So it’s not Mexico’s Independence Day, today! Just for all of you who may not know!???? But somehow this is a day that someone in the US figured out, hey let’s make a lot of money celebrating mexico, selling lots of margaritas ???? and tacos????! ????????‍♀️???? So cheers to that! Enjoy today ☄️and be safe!!! Don’t drink and drive!!???? It’s not worth it! ???? What ya think about this look? All my clothes and accessories were hand made and embroidered by indigenous people in Mexico!♥️ • OMG I forgot to tell you all the most important thing about today, TODAY IS THE ANNIVERSARY OF MY SECOND CAR ACCIDENT, in which I was driving! It was so bad that we dropped 50 feet, my car rolled over three times, that car is totaled…but by god’s grace and my angels watching over me,we all survived, my mom, @marthaelviap and my cousin @dayrarominna!????♥️ So today I don’t just celebrate, cinco de mayo, I celebrate life!! Because I’m SO so lucky to be alive so cheers to LIFE!!! • __________________ Feliz Cinco de Mayo, a los que lo celebran! Yo sé que en #Mexico no se celebra tanto como en E.U. Pero bueno cómo orgullosa Mexicana, les comparto esta foto!????????♥️ A celebrar! Pero si tomas, no manejes por favor!???? No vale la Pena ???? Bendiciones! Les gusta este look? con ropa típica y accesorios hechos a mano por nuestros paisanos de #oaxaca! ♥️ • Chicos me olvidé de compartirles lo más importante de este día, HOY ES EL ANIVERSARIO DE MI SEGUNDO ACCIDENTE DE CARRO, en el cual yo estaba manejando! Fue horrible, tanto que nos caímos a un barranco y mi carro se volcó tres veces, caímos 50 pies y ese carro fue perdida total…Pero por la gracia de Dios y nuestros ángeles que nos estaban cuidando, todas sobrevivimos mi mamá, @marthaelviap y mi prima, @dayrarominna!????♥️ Así es que hoy no sólo celebró el “5 de Mayo” CELEBRÓ La VIDA!! Porque soy MUY afortunada en estar VIVA después de ese accidente, así es que salud por la vida!!! ????

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Born and raised in Leon, Mexico, Mena immigrated to the United States at 13. The bilingual motivational speaker, actress, and model advocates for disability rights by frequently sharing her experiences on Instagram. When Tamara was 19, she suffered a car accident that left her paralyzed from the mid-chest down. The accident also caused the death of her boyfriend. In the years following the incident, Tamara has worked as a public speaker and encouraged others in the community on how to thrive in the face of a derailment. She participated in the famous beauty pageant Nuestra Belleza Latina as the first woman to be in a wheelchair in the competition and is one of the first Disabled talents to work with Ipsy. These days, she continues to use her voice and style to show young Disabled Latinas that they can achieve their dreams.

2. Jillian Mercado

This Disabled Afro-Latina has been killing it on the runway and in front of the camera since her modeling career took off when she landed an ad campaign with Diesel Jeans. Born with muscular dystrophy, a genetic disease that causes progressive weakness and loss of muscle mass, Jillian has used her voice to highlight how she and others have grown up with a severe lack of disabled representation in the fashion world. Since this New York Based Dominicana’s ad with Diesel Jeans, she has been signed with IMG models and has worked with Target and other large major brands. She’s definitely one to keep an eye on in the fashion world.

3. Marimar Quiroa

This Selona/Latina is killing the makeup game on Instagram and YouTube with her vibrant use of eyeshadows to create signature looks. Marimar is a 23-year-old Latina born with a facial tumor called “Cystic Hygroma.” She uses sign language to communicate with her followers on YouTube and Instagram and spreads a message to others to embrace their beauty. Growing up Marimar felt she needed to hide her face but after discovering makeup, she has embraced her features and found a passion in being a makeup artist.

4. Christina Feliz

Christina Feliz Martinez is a makeup artist and professional model based in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Inspire by her Latinidad, chronic illness, and love for makeup, she uses her platform to share looks that she creates that celebrate it all. Because of her chronic illness, she has retired from modeling full time but does shoots occasionally. These days, she’s mostly focused on her work as a full-time makeup artist who highlights beauty products that can be a benefit to the chronic illness community.

5. Dru Presta

Standing at 3ft 4in, this Puerto Rican-Sicilian model born with a form of dwarfism is on a mission to change the fashion industry one photo at a time. Dru grew up in Reno, Nevada where she experiences bullying and isolation from her peers. Determined to not let the ugliness of others affect her, Presta uses her platform to show her audience that sexy can come in many sizes.

6. Annie Segarra

Annie Segarra, more commonly known online as Annie Elainey is a Disabled Peruvian-Ecuadorian Latinx with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS) which is a connective tissue disorder. On YouTube, Annie creates videos that bring awareness to EDS but also speaks about the intersection of being disabled and Queer. Their platform has become a safe space for Disabled LGBTQ+ to feel seen and supported. When Annie isn’t creating videos, they’re slaying on Instagram with their #disabledandcute fashion looks. Their photos show outfits paired perfectly with their mobility aids.

7. Jessica Ruiz

Jessica Ruiz is a Puerto Rican-Irish makeup artist based in Philadelphia whose main tool in creating looks for her clients is her mouth!  Born with arthrogryposis, a condition that doesn’t allow her joints to move “normally”, she learned how to apply makeup with her mouth by holding the tools between her lips. She made makeup accessible for herself and after being rejected by a beauty school because of her disability she said “girl bye” and began a career for herself as a makeup artist. Her biggest break came when she had the opportunity to work at the Philadelphia Small Business Fashion Week where she was the lead makeup artist for the event. Jessica is making a name for herself as a disabled Latina MUA, and won’t be stopping any time soon!

8. Elsie Tellier

Living with Cystic Fibrosis (a terminal illness that affects the respiratory and gastrointestinal system), this Mexican-French Canadian uses her wheelchair to show off her love for fashion and her personality. After finding clothes that were comfortable and made her feel good while being in her chair, she began painting her wheels with pictures of galaxies and flowers to match her aesthetics. She uses her mobility aid as a fashion statement that challenges society’s absurd beauty standards. Tellier has said that her big goal is to see fashion brands make fashion accessible for those who use aids like wheelchairs, crutches, canes etc.

9. Giovanna “Gigi” Giscome

giovanawashere_/Instagram

This Afro-Latina from New York City and based in San Francisco Bay Area combines her love for fashion and modeling with her disability rights activism. Gigi has said that as she was growing up her parents taught her to love her disability but she soon noticed that that outside of her family atmosphere often revealed how uncomfortable they were with her disability. While she personally felt fine about being disabled she knew she wanted to change the mindset of others and did so with the help of fashion. Modeling and becoming a fashionista is Gigi’s way of fighting beauty standards which typically only showcase white, able models. Her fashion choices make a statement that both she and her disability are beautiful. Her photos show that she can bring it when it comes to high fashion with jaw-dropping looks.

10. Sofía Jirau

sofiajirau / Instagram

Sofia Jirau is a 22-year-old Puerto Rican model with Down Syndrome. She is, to say the least, a true jefa whose recent appearance on the runway at a New York Fashion Week show is undoubtedly a game-changer. While walking the runway this past week, the model lived out her dream of not only modeling in New York but also shaking up its fashion scene. “When I was little, I looked myself in the mirror and said, ‘I’m going to be a model and a businesswoman,’” Jirau told People in an interview.