Non-Offensive Clapbacks To Family Chisme

credit: Credit: Teresa / Televisa / mitu

It is possible to have a stress-free holiday even when your family is constantly giving you the third degree about the most personal aspects of your life.

Giphy
CREDIT: The Simpsons / FOX via Giphy

We’ve narrowed down the perfect distracting responses to the most common questions chismosas ask including, but not limited to: “y el novio?”, “y la dieta?”, “tienes trabajo?”, “cuando vas a tener hijos?”, “todavia andas con ese cualquier?”, “no has comprado casa?” etc.

1. “Who wants to play lotería?”

Jugando lotería @mayelirivera con la #Familia #MayeliRivera #Loteria #Tequila ?#TeamMayeli ?

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A round of lotería always gets the party going. If you play for money and get loaded while you’re at it, your relatives will be drunk in no time.

2. “What time is the posada?”


Your relatives love to sing, despite being tone-deaf. Once you get them on board for the posada, they’ll forget what they were asking you about in the first place.

3. “Dale, dale, dale!”

#posada

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Once you utter the word “piñata” every kid will be screaming so loud that it will drown out your more intrusive relatives.

4. “Oh man, I have to go help my mom with the tamales.”

Mexican mannequin challenge ? Happy thanksgiving day!! ?? #makingtamales

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You never deny your mom when she needs help. So when that chismoso comes around, just say that your mom needs you and they’ll back away fast.

5. “Y los Reyes Magos?”

#christmasingranada #christmas #eacgranada #threekings #losreyesmagos

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Yes, that response might seem like it’s coming out of nowhere, but that’s why it’s so brilliant. Whether you inquire about where the statues are, or ask about the story of the Three Kings, you’ll look like a good religious niece or nephew for asking.

6. “Gotta fix the nativity scene, brb.”

Siempre como cada año tiene casi listo el nacimiento, ella siempre la mejor #nacimiento #posadas

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Speaking of Los Reyes Magos, what about Baby Jesus?! Going to fix or rearrange the nativity scene is the perfect way to get out of a gossipy conversation.

7. “Y la tía Cuca?”


Think of the most scandalous person in the family, and say aloud — to no one in particular — “Y la tía Cuca, cómo está?” That will shut everyone up so fast.

8. “I heard la Mari is knocked up.”

chisme
Credit: Teresa / Televisa / mitú


Rat someone else out in the family. Yes, disclosing a secret is low, and it’s a pretty desperate move, but either you go down or they do. It’s your call.

9. “Who’s ready to dance?!”


It is the holidays after all, so why is everyone talking and not dancing?! This is your chance to get the chismes to simmer down. Play a quebradita and watch how quickly people forget about chisme.


READ: Reasons Why You Refuse To Go To A Family Party If Your Primos Are Not There

If you have crazy chismosos in your family share this story! 

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