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Hold the Diamond Ring – Here’s Why I’d Never Marry in My 20s

Why in the world would anyone get married while in their 20s? Our 20s are a time for self-exploration and self-discovery; not a time to get hitched and get dragged by someone who isn’t on the same page. Next time your nosey tía asks you why you aren’t married yet, just let her know…

Traditions were mead to be broken.

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Credit: vintagebrides / Tumblr

We’re no longer considered a cotorro/a if we’re not married with three kids by 23. What’s the rush anyway?

Marriage? I don’t even know what I want for dinner, much less who I want to marry.

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Credit: KTVA / HuffPostLive / Tumblr

Some of us don’t know what we’re doing after college – and that’s totally cool. It takes time to figure out what we want to do the rest of our life and marriage is the same. Do I want to spend the rest of my life with this person? Let me think about it…

I’m not a DNB. I want my Bachelors, Masters, PhD and a bunch of other things.

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Credit: Glee / FOX / gleeksfreaksandwannabes / Tumblr

I mean, we just graduated and we’re thirsty to learn more. Who has time for an s/o AND 25-page papers?

Also, I’m trying to build my empire here.

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Credit: Part II (On the Run) / Roc A Fella / electrictickle / Tumblr

We aren’t gold-diggers, we’re waiting until we can fully support ourselves first.


READ: Rainbow Flags and Glitter Cannons: Two Thing You Won’t Find at a Gay Wedding

I’m using this time to become the badass I was meant to be.

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Credit: thisisfusion / Tumblr

Now is the time to try that new hair style. Maybe start a new diet or plan how we’re going to rule the world? Doesn’t matter. This is our time.

Oh and I need to put my ❤️ first.

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Credit: movies-quotes / Tumblr

Well said, Demi.

The time to experiment is n o w.

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Credit: Easy A / Screen Gems / meghanfizzy / Tumblr

Sexually, career-wise, hair color, all of it. We will experiment and own it. We’re going to live it up, baby.

It’s also time to be selfish and do us, boo!

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Credit: Parks and Recreation / NBC / coverspy / Tumblr

Before having a spouse and children demanding all our attention and help, I’m going to do me.


READ: Cringeworthy Latino Wedding Disasters that’ll Make You Want to Stay Single

I want to see the world, damnit.

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Credit: tana-the-dreamchaser / Tumblr

All that money it would cost to have a wedding can be better used exploring this rock we all live on. Cancun, anyone?

I haven’t recovered from the last breakup. Can I get a break?

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Credit: Friends with Benefits / Screen Gems / likethesunyoubrightenmyday / Tumblr

Let’s be honest, very few people are emotionally stable in their 20s. That’s why waiting to get married is probably best.

I’m still trying to figure out life, let alone in-laws.

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Credit: Monster-in-Law / New Line Cinema / hellonostradamus / Tumblr

We all know the stories of terrifying in-laws making life hell. Yeah, let’s wait on that.


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Women On Reddit Shared What It Was Like To Catch Their Significant Others Cheating And The Stories Are Heartbreaking

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Women On Reddit Shared What It Was Like To Catch Their Significant Others Cheating And The Stories Are Heartbreaking

WMG

Anyone who has ever been in an unstable relationship knows that the situation related to such circumstances literally blows. But what about when such a relationship is affected by one of the worst kinds of betrayal?

Recently, a user on Reddit asked others what their experiences of dealing with a cheater were like, and the answers were pretty eyeopening.

Check them out below!

“I found a note from the nanny”

“My ex husband and his family smoked a lot of pot, still do. His sister, kids, and nanny were visiting from out of state for a few weeks. When it was time to fly home they left their stash at my ex MILs house because they didn’t want to take it on the plane. My ex asked if I would pick it up because I was nearby. Stupidly I agree. I don’t smoke and I was willing to carry it in my car for him. To my surprise I found a note from the nanny to my ex saying she was in love with him and she was so happy for the time they had together. Obviously she thought he would get the weed instead of me. While it was incredibly painful at the time I am definitely living my best life 15 years later.” – mycatsnameisjanet

“I tested positive for chlamydia.”

“Went for my yearly check up and tested positive for chlamydia. Turns out my ex was sleeping around… apparently false positives are common with these types of tests so have your SO tested as well. I hope you’re in a relationship where you can openly talk about such things.” – needsmoreusername

“I suspected an affair but didn’t have proof.”

“The husband of one of the women he was cheating on me with called me at work. At first I didn’t believe him and hung up. How could the man i spent the past 8 years with,had 2 beautiful babies with, suffered together the loss of one of those children do something so hurtful?? Still a part of me had doubt. He had affairs in other relationships and we had a rocky patch early in the beginning where I suspected an affair but didn’t have proof. I told my boss I felt sick and had to leave early and I called this guy back and found out that my ex and his wife along with one of their friends were all sleeping together for about a year. He had confronted my ex and told him that he was going to tell me but my ex convinced him to wait a month since my mother had just died. I took my time coming home and confronted him and told him to pack and leave. Since I’ve pieced together a lot of what happened and all the lies he told me where if I was in a different headspace I might have caught on to the affairs earlier. I also found videos hidden on one of our computers and found out he was having bootycalls in our apartment while I was at work and he was watching our daughter. At that point it put the headstone on any possibility of reconciliation.” – Shomzy

“He forced me out of the room… literally grabbed me by the neck.”

“I owned a house with my fiancé. I woke up in the middle of the night and he wasn’t in bed. I went searching. His truck and another vehicle were in the driveway. Then, I went upstairs and found the guest bedroom was locked. After barging my way in… I found him with another woman in bed. That bed happened to be my childhood bed. He forced me out of the room… literally grabbed me by the neck and pushed me out and closed the door back. I knew I couldn’t do anything at that point, so I called his parents who lived a few blocks away. His dad showed up and another fight broke out. I ended up leaving and staying at his parents until dawn. I moved out that weekend and let the house foreclose. 9 years later.. it’s finally off my credit report, I’m happily married to an amazing man and we own a beautiful home together.” – dddallasss

“I was 8 months pregnant.”

“I was 8 months pregnant with our second child at the time and he wanted to go visit his brother for the weekend. I asked my doctor if it was safe for me to travel and she said it would be fine. I told my husband I could go but he said he was really hoping to just have some time with his brother, I understood because a new baby really makes it hard to spend quality time but I asked if he could take our older son (3yo at the time) so he could see his grandma and cousins. He said they were planning on drinking and whatnot and wasn’t sure it would be a good idea. (They’re country boys so think shooting, drinking and whatnot) I agreed and he left for the weekend. After he left I get a call from his best friend telling me that he’ll be in town for the weekend and he wanted to meet up, not weird he called me because my husband was terrible at answering his phone. I told him unfortunately my husband was visiting back home, bad timing. His best friend then said ok, I’m going to call you back. And hung up very abruptly. Turns out my husband and his wife had been caught by him a few months previously and he gave them a chance to make it right…I don’t know why. He didn’t tell me but threatened to if they didn’t stop. Well, they didn’t stop and he told me. I think the worst part was that my husband’s family knew and never once thought to tell me. These people were my family for 5 years and nothing. It’s been almost 10 years now and I’m so much happier but it was definitely an eye opening experience.” – Endlessnite

“They were making out in the background of one photo.”

“Very unhealthy relationship. He was emotionally very abusive and I was in a terrible place with my mental health. I found out at the ultrasound to determine the gender of our child. He was late and I was noodling on Facebook waiting to be called. He was tagged in some photos in my news feed from a gig he’d been at on the previous weekend. Random lass was in all the photos of him and they were all over each other. Also they were making out in the background of one photo. He turned up after I was called in. While the technician was printing the images I told him I knew. He went off and on about how I was making it up, he’d never do that, obviously I was lying to compensate for cheating on him and so on. When I pointed out there were photos he stormed out and left me there. My Dad had turned up during the appointment (anticipating that he’d react badly if we were having a girl, which he did, that was scattered through the cheating denials) and took me home. I considered us broken up at that point and stopped all contact except texts related to the pregnancy. Mostly I was relieved. I had concrete evidence that it wasn’t in my head and I finally managed to escape that relationship.” – Axel_ProseI was literally the last to know.

“I was literally the last to know.”

“June 1, 2018. Normal day. A Friday. My husband had kissed me goodbye and gone to work. I was cleaning the house for company who was coming to stay the weekend. The doorbell rang. There was a man at my door who introduced himself as the husband of a woman who my husband worked with. He was there to tell me that my husband and his wife were having an affair. He had busted them about six months prior and had told his wife that she had to end the affair. He thinks that she did end it…for about three months, but then they started up again. When he found out they were at it again, he called my husband (because he knew if he confronted him in person, he’d be in a jail cell for what he’d have done). On the phone, he told my husband to leave his wife alone or else he would come and tell me everything that was happening. Apparently, my husband thought that he was bluffing. So I was literally the last to know. My husband never came home again. He got an air b’n’b and a lawyer. The divorce was December 21, 2018. We had been together for 24 years. Still hurts.” – headcase-and-a-half

“Me ex-husband was an early adopter of sending dick pics. I got his phone to get the numbers of his friends to invite them to a surprise birthday party while he was sleeping off a hangover, and there they were in his outbox. ETA- this was more than 12 years ago. When camera phones were barely functional.” – BooksNShizzz

“She had everything public, photos with him, bragging about the texts they exchanged.”

“Back then Facebook used to display on your profile stuff like “dontsayaword2 liked a photo” and everything you did. I noticed he liked a photo of a girl that seemed to be someone he had recently added. So I checked her profile and she was one of those girls who think “they won” because men cheat on their partners with them. She had everything public, photos with him, bragging about the texts they exchanged etc. So I engineered a way to befriend her roommate, I would then find out she was bringing other dudes home besides my boyfriend and when I confronted him I also let him know about who else she was sleeping with and for him to get an STD test.” – dontsayaword2

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Latinas Say Don’t Get Married Until You’ve Confirmed These Things

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Latinas Say Don’t Get Married Until You’ve Confirmed These Things

Hulton Archive / Getty

When it comes to getting married, just about everyone has opinions and advice. Of course, while input on dos and don’ts of considering marriage can be overwhelming, they’re also so important to listen. Recently, we came across a Tweet by Twitter user @cxkenobxkery⁠ who posted a thread called “Don’t get married before…” We reposted the question and asked our FIERCE readers what advice they had for other Latinas who were considering marriage and the answers were pretty eye-opening.

So here goes, if you’re thinking about getting married consider pumping the breaks unless you’ve…

Worked out your parenting styles

Too strict? Too soft? Balance and teamwork is crucial. It comes down to what kid of little humans do you BOTH want to raise.” – ramfamfour

Discussed mental health stuff

“ANY mental health issues. My ex husband was not verbally or physically abusive, but his mental health issues were at the core of our marriages demise. I would also add to pay attention to how compatible you are when the ‘feeling’ of being in love isn’t tinting your glasses. He hated new foods and I loved to cook. He didn’t understand hyperbole, sarcasm, analogy, humor, etc. And those are all native to me. Otherwise, this is a great list.” – dinneronmylap

Learned how you plan to grow together

“I think asking how a person plans to continuously seek knowledge during their lifetime is important.” – lachullavida

Have underlined your boundaries

“Speak about the boundaries you plan on having with your families as you create one of your own. TRUST ME, you don’t want a spouse who doesn’t know or understand how important this is. Nobody wants their in laws overstepping. If their parents or yours are doing this now, it will only get worse once you are married and it will create so much drama. People have divorced over this.” – taialvarez

Talked about credit scores

“And CREDIT SCORE, family health history, twins?”- liani9

Seen them when they’re angry

“Other tips: See how this person reacts when angry, see how this person treats strangers, see how this person faces a difficult dilemma. This will tell you a lot about a person.” –mariar09_

Have self-appreciation on both sides

“Don’t get married before you truly know, love and have appreciation for yourself.”- moni.gram

Know their family

“You absolutely need to know about family, how they were raised and around who… she’s wrong on that one.”- your_phoenix_

Have the age experience

“Don’t even THINK about it until you’re in your 30s.” – arlee_la

Sorted out cleaning habits

“The cleanings habits.” – nancyesquivel

Know how their parents fight

“Parenting / disciplining! Questions about in laws expectations. Alone time vs quality time – are you someone who needs a lot of time away or close to your partner? How fairly do you fight? How did your parents fight growing up? How do you negotiate with one another?” – melmor

Lived on your own

“The best thing I did for myself: Live away from family. I had a whole year to live with roommates and I learned so mhch about myself. If at all possible, consider doing this!!!” – dj_enamoured

Asked how their prior relationship ended

“Always ask how the prior relationship ended, been almost marry for 5 years and I never asked and I found out that he got 7 women pregnant and all of them got an abortion, also ask about mental health issues with the family I never did and found out his mother was bipolar without treatment now I know why he is the way he is cause he is bipolar… I thought things would changed but nothing has changed and don’t marry a men that has a lot of guy friends cause his priority are his friends… Yes I know don’t need to tell me to get divorce I m already working on it.” – suequte_yoginyc

Figured out how to spend time alone and apart

“Date/Outing expectations – is one a home-body vs outdoorsy? This made for some very uncomfortable situations for both if us in a prior relationship. Would lead to full on arguments. But if both aren’t comfortable with group dates or don’t consider a quiet dinner at home as romantic then someone is going to become resentful.” – rosanam1978

Been genetically tested

“On having children, it best to get a gene-carrier (gene disease testing) before marriage. It makes me so angry when hearing that married couple… MARRRIED, do it after marriage. What if both of them are carriers? Then having a kid with their gene disease is on its way, if they have 1 biological.” – officialdarlin

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