Latino Birthday Parties are Only a Humiliation for the Birthday Kid
They always end up being full-blown adult parties.
Everyone brings the five-year-old a gift… along with a case of beer.
This is what a normal table spread looks like.
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Before you know it, there are more drunk adults than children.
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The taquero is more celebrated than the birthday kid.
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Even though most kids don’t like tacos.
Dessert is supposed to be a kids dream. Not when you’re served this:
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Y la tía is always super proud of her gelatin.
Cake time is always a big humiliation.
It’s social suicide.
This is Latino parents’ idea of child entertainment.
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Safe for kids, right?
And no party de niño is complete without a massive jumper.
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It always deflates and your older cousin always ended up suffocating you. Good times.
No matter how terrified the birthday kid is of their piñata, they’re forced to take a swing at it.
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And having hard candy fall on your head was never a good feeling.
Only Latino parents encourage the drunk tío to climb on a ladder to pull the piñata rope.
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But the the real party doesn’t start until the banda walks in.
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And it doesn’t end until tío Juan starts singing “Tragos de amargo licor.”
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…and you realize you have no idea where the birthday boy is.