Guys, we appreciate you trying, we really do. But these come-ons or cheesy pickup lines based on some old stereotype ain’t getting you anything but an *EYEROLL* and a wave goodbye, OK? So ditch these tired lines:
How can you perfect Mexican food? You can start by not attempting to change it. Experimenting with food is fun, yes, and can be quite adventurous but be aware it won’t taste the same. It’s no surprise that Mexican food is beloved by all, so people have taken liberties when it comes to making their own kind of Mexican dish. However, what ends up happening is quite the opposite of Mexican food. The result is a whole big mess. We’re not advising to not be creative when it comes to cooking, we’re saying Mexican food — when made authentically — is so damn delicious so why fix what isn’t broken? Watch just how many ways people can screw up a tortilla with melted cheese.
Deep-fried BBQ pizza quesadilla disaster.
Early last month, Twisted, a UK-based, food website, published a video that included a detailed recipe on how to make a deep-fried BBQ pizza quesadilla. In other words, how to combine three dishes into one. The result was a grotesque meal that could perhaps equal to a heartache. People on social media were blown away by how ridiculous food creators would go to make something so unappealing. We know you’re curious to try it so if you’d like to make it, be our guest, but you can easily purchase a deep dish pizza and it’ll be the same thing.
A quesadilla-ranch dressing mess.
We love ranch dressing too, but on a salad not on a damn quesadilla. This dude included pre-cooked chicken, with bell peppers, mozzarella, and ranch dressing all inside the tortilla before cooking it. It might sound like a healthy quesadilla, but it’s not, especially not after you add half the bottle of dressing. Why must people always add ranch to everything!?
If your tortilla falls on the ground, don’t eat it.
As we said before, cooking is fun. We love playing music and dancing along while making dinner. It just makes the act of cooking so much more enjoyable. The issue with this guy in the video is that he’s having way too much fun. He’s cooking his quesadilla as if he were making a pizza. He starts flipping and tossing the tortilla as if it was pizza dough and then bam…right on the floor.
Protip: Lower the heat.
We know you’re hungry and want food to prepare asap, but that doesn’t mean turning up the heat to high. Tortillas are delicate, so adding a high heat will only create a sad and pathetic quesadilla like the one above. But hey, go ahead and eat it because you don’t have much of a choice.
People are so funny and terrible at doing basic things.
To make a quesadilla, the only thing you need — aside from a tortilla and cheese — is a skillet or a comal. You certainly do not need to trouble yourself with a quesadilla maker! But as a side note, whoever invented the quesadilla maker is seriously ripping people off. Then again, it’s a perfect gadget for people who don’t know how to flip a tortilla because it might be too hot like it was for this guy.
This “Cheesy Chicken Layer Quesadilla” is not a quesadilla.
It’s totally fine if you want to add a whole bunch of ingredients into your quesadilla, but the more you add the less quesadilla it is. Take this layered-quesadilla. It has chicken, corn, beans, and cheese. So basically what you have here is an enchilada or an enchilada lasagne. If you need a fork to eat your quesadilla, then it’s not a quesadilla!
This is not a quesadilla, it’s a fajita!
We don’t know where to start with this mess. It’s sort of a fajita, but then they added shrimp, so forget the whole thing. It’s just a meal inside of a tortilla.
Here’s how you truly make an authentic Mexican quesadilla.
Please follow these directions. All you need is a flour (or corn) tortilla, cheese (any kind you like!) and that’s it. A little bit of butter or oil on the comal and you’ll have yourself a tasty quesadilla, but please make more than one because one will not be enough.
Happy cooking! And remember the fewer ingredients you have, the better your food will be.
Vacationing with your significant other is a big step in a relationship. It isn’t just the shared travel or the expense that can be the most trying. Many times, it’s figuring out a cover story to tell the padres. Don’t got it wrong, we’re grown. However, Latinx folk still have to answer to our parents when we leave the house. So if we want to vacay with the novio, we need an alibi.
With this in mind, we asked our FIERCE readers what their go-to lies are whenever they need to cover up a vacation with their significant other. You might want to jot these excuses down for the next time you need a justification for a weekend away.
1. The mandatory vacay.
Instagram / @happilyeveradventures
“I told my parents I would be out of town (only an hour away from home) for work and that my job was paying for everything and that it was mandatory we all stay there in the hotel because my dad said I could just drive everyday I needed to go. We ended up vacationing 12 hours away from home 😂 they still haven’t found out lol.” — @baerenis
2. Technically, she still went to Disney.
Instagram / @aprilroselb
“I had a summer job that involved church and I told my mom I was going to stay an extra week because a bunch of us were going to Disneyland. My boyfriend ended up picking me up and we did technically go to Disneyland, but it was just him and me. Lol” — @lilpeaches_12
3. Total fail but still worth it.
Instagram / @theromantictravelers
“Went to Rosarito w/ex to a wedding and told my mom I was going to visit girlfriends in San Francisco. One of my moms friends lives in Rosarito and recognized me at wedding. Total fail. Lady memorized my license plate # y todo 😂😂🇲🇽” — @vidajuicebar_
4. The abuela alibi.
Instagram / @bestwestern_plus_suitcase
“My now husband is from a town 2 hours away from Houston, and the only way my parents would let me stay the weekend over there, was if I stayed and slept with his grandmother. We would actually stay in a hotel room from Friday – Sunday in downtown, 4 miles away from my parents house. This was back in 2003, there’s no way I could get away with that now with smart phones! 😂” — @areal1982
5. Staycation, all she ever wanted.
Instagram / @kvadventuretravel
“Lol I would just tell them I was working a long shift and leave for a stay-cation.” — @jenoemi87
6. When white lies become second nature.
Instagram / @alinadelcaru
“I lied until I got married at 31 😂 now my instinct is to lie but stop my self because – wait a minute I’m married now! 😂” — @deerayv
7. This lie came with a lot of work.
Instagram / @el_palauet
“My husband and I had been dating for almost a year he wanted to take me to Puerto Vallarta for my birthday I didn’t know how to tell my parents my husband was like how old are you I said were Mexican we don’t sleep over nobody’s house ever we sleep at home. I told my dad my job needed me to travel to mexico since they were branching out to Puerto Vallarta and they needed a fluent Spanish speaker he was so excited they picked me. He said go tell me what hotel your staying at so I can tell your primos from El Rancho to meet you there… 🤦♀️ I gave him the wrong hotel name each time he called I would say were in meetings or were looking at property I’ll call the primos when I have time. We met 1 time to show I wasn’t with anybody I shouldn’t have been with… 😂” — @melliesemily
8. You need to go to confessional after this one.
Instagram / @theromantictravelers
“I told my mom I was going on a church retreat and got a text free number to pretend I was one of the people at church verifying I was attending 😩💀 I’m going to hell.” — @aimechinchilla
9. An educational experience.
Instagram / @theromantictravelers
“So I’ve always been super involved on campus and sometimes for student government we would travel and once we went on a trip to a conference for 2 days but I told my parents it’s was for 5 so the other 3 days estaba de pata larga 😉😂 later on that always became my excuse que tenía una conferencia para la escuela (btw i would tell them they were at other sister schools so you know it’s educational ) en total I probably actually had like 5 conferences my whole college career but to them it was like every other month 🤷🏻♀️😂” — @anythingforcelinaaas
10. That’s what friends are for.
Instagram / @fairmontsanfrancisco
“I was 20 and had been dating my bf for a year and he had the house for himself one weekend. I told my parents I was sleeping over at my friend’s house and got my dad to drop me off there (about a 20 minute drive away). My bf was waiting for me around the corner and came and picked me up. My friend even played the game and came and said hi to my dad 😂” — @laviajeraporvida