El Niño? Bring it.
1. We hoard, so naturally, we got this.
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We learned from our parents to never throw anything away. We have boxes, bubblewrap, you name it because ‘you never know.’ In this case, that La Curacao box will probably save us if there’s a massive flood.
2. Water is second nature to us.
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3. El Niño is such a joke, we make that b*tch our costume.
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Even little tots aren’t afraid of him.
4. We’ve had our furniture covered in plastic since the 60’s.
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Surviving plastic wrapped furniture is a rite of passage. Perhaps bad news for your nalgas, but that couch never looked so new. Let it rain b*tch, we’re covered.
READ: It’s Embarrassing, But Face It: All Mexicans Own These Things
5. Venomous Sea Snakes = More Selections of Tacos
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With rain come more of these water snakes. We all have that tío who is down to eat tacos de no se qué. Hey, survival of the fittest.
6. We’re used to the drama.
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We’ve been watching Telenovelas since we born, so all this build up of El Niño has us like ?.
7. We’re all Tupperware queens.
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Not only will our leftover tamales be safe and floating like self service, but our jewelry and clothes will be intact. We will look fabulous while staying afloat.
8. We have the best protection in the world.
https://www.instagram.com/p/-YOvNFizZR/
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This will get us through all the cold fronts that come with El Niño.
Quiz: Which San Marcos Blanket Are You?
9. It’s in our DNA. We will survive.
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The weather reminds us of our DNA’s homeland. Either tropical or desert, we have the natural terrain running in our veins. Grab that Abuelita hot chocolate and enjoy re-connecting with your roots.
10. Because El Niño Jesus.
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El Niño literally means the Christ Child, so you are basically asking us if we have been getting ready for Jesus? We’ve been having posadas since our grandmas great-great -great-(you get the picture) grandma. Where have you been?
11. Oh, we’ve got bags.
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We’ve got sand bags, bags of beans, bags of recyclables, bags of rice, bags as trash cans, bags under our eyes-you name it. We have been prepared. We didn’t cross El Niño, El Niño crossed us.
12. We’ve been here and we ain’t goin’ nowheres, homes.
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We’ve been waterproofing roofs way before the Mexican War, so we will be safe. Thanks to our handiness, homes have been leak-proof way before Christopher Columbus.
READ: Mexican Dogs being Kept on Roofs in Mexico
13. Huracán Patricia= Zero Deaths. ‘Nuff said.
Credit: Pitch Perfect 2 / Universal / pitchperfectmovie / Tumblr
Mic drop.
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