These Nacadas We Had at Home Will Actually Save Our Lives
El Niño? Bring it.
1. We hoard, so naturally, we got this.
Credit: @selenatopham / Instagram
We learned from our parents to never throw anything away. We have boxes, bubblewrap, you name it because ‘you never know.’ In this case, that La Curacao box will probably save us if there’s a massive flood.
2. Water is second nature to us.
Credit: Water Slides are Way Better Than Traffic / Reddit
3. El Niño is such a joke, we make that b*tch our costume.
Credit: @octobergonz / Instagram
Even little tots aren’t afraid of him.
4. We’ve had our furniture covered in plastic since the 60’s.
Credit: @yomallory / Instagram
Surviving plastic wrapped furniture is a rite of passage. Perhaps bad news for your nalgas, but that couch never looked so new. Let it rain b*tch, we’re covered.
READ: It’s Embarrassing, But Face It: All Mexicans Own These Things
5. Venomous Sea Snakes = More Selections of Tacos
#notashark #seasnake #morningwalks ? @byronbayholidayvillage
A photo posted by Common Ground Byron Bay (@commongroundbyronbay) on
Credit: @commongroundbyronbay / Instagram
With rain come more of these water snakes. We all have that tío who is down to eat tacos de no se qué. Hey, survival of the fittest.
6. We’re used to the drama.
Credit: María la del Barrio / Televisa
We’ve been watching Telenovelas since we born, so all this build up of El Niño has us like ?.
7. We’re all Tupperware queens.
Credit: KaySedia / Facebook
Not only will our leftover tamales be safe and floating like self service, but our jewelry and clothes will be intact. We will look fabulous while staying afloat.
8. We have the best protection in the world.
https://www.instagram.com/p/-YOvNFizZR/
Credit: @jordie_ramos26 / Instagram
This will get us through all the cold fronts that come with El Niño.
Quiz: Which San Marcos Blanket Are You?
9. It’s in our DNA. We will survive.
Credit: iStock
The weather reminds us of our DNA’s homeland. Either tropical or desert, we have the natural terrain running in our veins. Grab that Abuelita hot chocolate and enjoy re-connecting with your roots.
10. Because El Niño Jesus.
Credit: @Peru_Rican25 / Instagram
El Niño literally means the Christ Child, so you are basically asking us if we have been getting ready for Jesus? We’ve been having posadas since our grandmas great-great -great-(you get the picture) grandma. Where have you been?
11. Oh, we’ve got bags.
A photo posted by City of San Gabriel (@sangabrielcity) on
Credit: @sangabrielcity / Instagram
We’ve got sand bags, bags of beans, bags of recyclables, bags of rice, bags as trash cans, bags under our eyes-you name it. We have been prepared. We didn’t cross El Niño, El Niño crossed us.
12. We’ve been here and we ain’t goin’ nowheres, homes.
A photo posted by AJM Ingenieria (@ajmingenieria) on
Credit: @ajmingenieria / Instagram
We’ve been waterproofing roofs way before the Mexican War, so we will be safe. Thanks to our handiness, homes have been leak-proof way before Christopher Columbus.
READ: Mexican Dogs being Kept on Roofs in Mexico
13. Huracán Patricia= Zero Deaths. ‘Nuff said.
Credit: Pitch Perfect 2 / Universal / pitchperfectmovie / Tumblr
Mic drop.
How are you preparing for El Niño? Let us know in the comments and hit that share button if you’re ready for it ?.
Meet Kevin “Corazón” Hart
Meet Kevin “Corazón” Hart
Credit: Universal Pictures / YouTube
“Man, You Don’t Know No Español”
(Brought to you by our friends at Universal Studios)
Luces, Camera, Acción!
Kevin “Corazón” Hart really, really commits to a role. Here’s footage from Hart’s first (and probably last) telenovela audition with Ride Along 2 co-star Ice Cube heckling coaching him from the sidelines.
Hart digs deep to perform the three most important actions in any telenovela: llorar, rabia, y asombro. Do you think Corazón has what it takes to be the next great telenovela galán? Watch the clip and judge for yourself.
PLAY: Quiz: We Know Which Telenovela Villain Is Your Spirit Animal
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