Here’s What Your Novio is Really Doing When He is Alone

Ever wonder what your boyfriend is up to when he’s alone? Well, no surprise, a lot of it has to do with him being naked and touching himself.

You know that diet you two are on? Well, that shit goes out the window when you’re not there.

Credit: Hey Arnold! / Nickelodeon / 90sfashiongal / Tumblr

The greasier, the more likely he is going to devour it. How else do you think the concha burger came to be?

He finally gets to explore all the smells his body makes.

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This might sound weird to you, but guys take pride in the scents their bodies produce.

There’s a strict no-clothes policy in place.

And while he’s naked, he does think about you.

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Maybe not how you want him to, but he totally does.

He practices his dance moves to impress your family at your cousin’s quince.

He definitely experiments with his pedos.

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Whether it is lighting them on fire, catching them in a jar, or seeing how long he can make them last.

There is a lot of shitty television watching.

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After all, channels like Spike and truTV were definitely made for men. #nobrainpowerneeded

READ: This is What Happens When You’ve Become the Third Wheel to Your Boyfriend’s Bromance

He uses his computer to do…research?

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Why do you think he never even dares to use it while you are around. *Hint: He doesn’t know what else to do with it.*

He works out…for a whole two pushups.

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And then immediately goes to the mirror like:

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“I’m feeling swole today.”

There is always time for him to sit still and just stare at his balls as they move around on their own.

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Seriously! This is a thing. Just ask him.

And all that time alone gives him a chance to talk through some of his plans and life goals.

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Even if it is just what he is going to have for dinner.

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