Mark your calendars. December 12 is El Día De La Virgen De Guadalupe and you know your mom is going to ask si fuiste a misa to wish La Virgen a Happy Birthday. Here are just a few examples of how you can join in on the celebration and keep mom happy.
In downtown São Paulo, July 14th’s Sunday service didn’t go quite as planned. The Canção Nova Community sponsored a youth conference and invited a celebrity priest to serve the final mass. Brazil’s most famous padre, Father Marcelo Rossi, was giving a homily in front of 50,000 worshippers when a woman suddenly pushed him off stage. The 32-year-old woman’s name has not been released, and she was immediately arrested. The priest is known for being vehemently homophobic and misogynist and had reportedly told the crowd that fat women don’t go to heaven before being pushed off the stage.
A woman pushed a homophobic and misogynistic priest off stage on live national television.
Apparently, the woman was able to sneak past security and get on stage in the middle of his homily. In a few seconds flat, she excitedly shoved the elderly priest off the stage.
O Dia later reported that “She said that she wanted to come in to talk to him and that she was scared the moment she saw the security guards running after her. It’s her version, but anyone who sees the pictures sees that there is none of it [security guards running after her]. She says she got scared and pushed him at a time when she kind of freaked out, lost control, but she had no intention [of hurting him], she just wanted to talk to him.”
She could be seen smiling after the push, and immediately jumped off the stage.
Within a few minutes, the priest reportedly stood up and told the crowd, in Portuguese, that “the devil hates him” and “thanked Mary for deliverance.” There have been mixed reports about why she did it, along with mixed reactions.
The young audience watched in shock and then started to scream.
Minutes after the incident, the priest was back on stage to finish la misa. Almost immediately, President Jair Bolsonaro tweeted out his well wishes for Rossi, saying, “All our solidarity with Father Marcelo Rossi. God looks [over] Brazil.”
The woman told reporters Monday that what happened was “between [Rossi] and I.”
Her friends told police that she suffers from various mental disorders and that she was being chaperoned when she snuck away from the group. She told police that she has bipolar disorder. Rossi decided not to press charges given that he was protected by the Virgin Mary, and she was released that same night.
Brasileños everywhere were sharing their reactions–from horror to just pure laughter on social media.
Just so y’all know, Rossi is a Grammy-nominated “Latin singer,” and mega-producer of Christian music. He’s also a mega-homophobe. In 1998, he said, “A lot of ideas will change the day homosexuality is proven to be an illness.”
Given Rossi’s open, proud homophobia, some folks were applauding the woman’s actions.
Just five years ago, he shared misinformation to his millions of followers, saying, “Sex between man causes pain, if something causes pain, it can’t be a good thing.”
We don’t know who said it first, but The Internet estaba chismosando for days about this version of the story.
Unfortunately, the reason this rumor started spreading is rooted in body-shaming the mentally unwell woman, and mother of a 3-year-old. While feminist outlets clung to this story and ran, fortunately, Rossi has never said that.
Catholics started clapping back to the chismosas by pointing out the flaws in the story.
Every version of the story we found says the priest said, “las gordas no van al cielo,” which wouldn’t make any sense. Rossi wouldn’t be speaking Spanish on a national broadcast when the vast majority of Brasileños speak Portuguese. This just didn’t happen, basta.
Others who feel spiritually traumatized by the Church felt that Rossi deserved the push.
Of course, plenty of people from all sexualities, religious belief systems or none at all, came out as unable to condone assault of any kind. They argue that you can believe the Church needs to change to include equal opportunities for women, to stop hating on the LGBTQ+ community, and to stop supporting a culture of pedophilia, and also believe that assault is unacceptable.
The Church released a statement saying, “The priest is well.”
“He was attended by the medical staff at the event and presided over the celebration to the end.” Rossi himself said that he felt minor pain, but “that’s normal.” He didn’t break any bones, and will likely continue making religious pop and homophobic statements for a long, long time.
Cakes have been used as a celebration for centuries. In fact, the word “cake” has a Viking origin: the word kaka in Old Norse (ha, we know what you are thinking… it sounds like a certain Spanish word, eh?). However, these sweet delicacies are sometimes infamous for how inappropriate they are or because, well, they are used to deliver brutally awful or honest messages. We found some pretty brutal cakes for all sorts of occasions… and shaped in all sorts of… well… you will see.
We found birthday cakes, despedida de soltera ones, and some of the most out there ones come from the frankly old-fashioned and terribly heteronormative gender reveal party tradition. Enjoy… or not! Do not try at home unless you really mean it!
1. Brutal honesty: los amores de verano son pasajeros
Credit: Instagram. @londonbakerboy
Many, if not most, of us have had a summer fling. It is part of growing up and also a common scenario of those first really tough heartbreaks. This cake is just so brutal that it hurts just like seeing that bus leaving with a loved one.
2. Just… ai nos vemos
Credit: Instagram. @itsa_michelle
We don’t know if the person who was taking the order at the bakery got it all wrong or if this is a passive aggressive way of breaking up with someone. Sale, bye, would be the perfect Spanish translation! The cake doesn’t look that good either!
3. We are so excited you are leaving… oh, sorry, te vamos a extrañar
Credit: Instagram. @the_Art_of_sweet
That Whoooo is like a cold, pointy dagger to the heart. We are sure that whoever this cake was for was not that happy. Una bofetada con guante blanco, as your abue would say.
4. Puberty sucks, apesta feo
Credit: Instagram. @beingsufia
This might seem like a harmless cake, but reality bites. No, no one can keep calm at that age. Whoever had a slice of that cake will likely face the wrath of this teenager at some point in the coming year.
5. Someone is getting fired at the bakery
Credit: Instagram. @joekstergram
This is just so bad. The writing on the cake is frankly awful (un poco de esfuerzo, compas!) and the message reveals lack of care in all parties involved. You are better off with no cake at all, frankly. The whole thing just seems effortless!
6. What a Matt!
Credit: Instagram. @mamabake_r
This takes the award for best use of passive aggressiveness. Yes, you got a cake, Matt, but you were also called a dick. Es en buena onda, tranquilo.
7. Ouch, this is an arrow straight to the heart
Credit: Instagram. @mamabake_r
A cake message that could have been penned by a serial killer or a sadist. Imagine closing your eyes, opening to blow the candles and encountering this cold, harsh truth facing your one-year-older self. Ay, dolor!
8. You are the best… well, maybe
Credit: Twitter. @carryyourwill
This gets extra points for honesty. What would your reaction be if you got this message that tries to be uplifting but ends up being quite insulting? We are sure that the work environment in this office is puebli chico, infierno grande.
9. Yes, your son drinks too much and maybe the dude at the bakery too
Credit: Twitter. @DailyMailUK
Seriously… we need almost no words for this one. It is wrong on so many levels, from its conception to its floppy but hilarious execution. We are sure Stefan grabbed those two bottled of JD to process all this info.
10. OK… taking your NFL fandom a bit too far
Credit: Twitter. @Deadspin
We would think that your 5-year-old’s birthday party is a happy event, right? Full of joy and with no room for negativity? Well, think again. We can only imagine the faces of the other parents when they saw this masterpiece. Seriously, dude, it is your kid’s party, stop being such an attention grabber.
11. We are all dying, second by second, year by year
Credit: Twitter. @thatladdybrie
Yes, every birthday is a kind reminder of all the achievements and joy we have experienced over the past 12 months. Or it could be a fierce, but sweet, reminder of our inevitable demise, of the fact we will soon end up buried or burnt into ashes. Hip hip hooray!
12. Yes, you are in your 40s, mi reinita
Credit: Twitter. @advertina
For many women in their 40s, birthdays can be bittersweet. This woman’s sisters decided to restregarle en la cara the fact that she is 44 now. Ha, ha, muy chistositas.
13. OK, then… this one needs little explanation
Credit: Instagram. @pasteleriawemakecake
Despedidas de solteras are all full of phallic paraphernalia. But seriously, this is just a little bit too out there. We are not being persinados, but this is just a little bit too much…. and unappetizing. The message on the cake: “EAT ME. Ready for the big night?”. Tasteless.
14. This has got to be the worst prank ever or a very big #fail
Credit: Instagram. @diegue_cjs
We are sure that no one had the slice covered by this track of Woody’s chocolate poo. Que pinche asco! We feel bad for whoever got their birthday kinda ruined.
15. We celebrate this brave woman and her sense of humor: al mal tiempo, buena cara
First of all, it must be hard to deal with such a tough medical situation and be brave enough to share it publicly. But what is braver still is…
Credit: Instagram. @AuthorFarrah
Having a party about it and a cake shaped like a pair of ovaries! She is lucky to have friends who help her travel this road with a gran sonrisa!
16. Talking about human reproduction, let’s face the elephant in the room: gender reveal cakes!
Credit: Instagram. @omgcupcakefactory
Gender reveal cakes might sound like a good idea, but sometimes they are just sexist and plain awful. Just look at this cake, which seems to have been designed by a silly teenager who hasn’t been told anything about how to deal with issues of gender and sex in a respectful manner.
17. Guns or glitter? Seriously!
Credit: Instagram. @slumberjack666
We just can’t… so all men are violent trigger happy mafia dudes and all women are princesses covered in glitter and dressed with so much pink that it seems like a flamingo puked on them, right? Ladies and gentlemen, it is the twentieth first century, please take your old-fashioned gendered ideas somewhere else.
18. Ha, ha, ha… they said “sex”… ha ha (cue Beavis and Butthead laughter)
Credit: Twitter. @PaopuMilkshake
We found so many terrible cakes with this silly message that it is not even funny!
19. If only life was truly like this!
Credit: Twitter. @yaesohn
OMG, we want this to happen in real life! Imagine the faces of all the guests if a bunch of insects just flew out of the pastel.
20. Talk about hidden messages
Credit: Instagram. @bluehorsebakery
This is either a cake for a woodworking enthusiast, or a not-so-subtle threat! Run for your life! This cake seriously looks like something out of the Saw horror movies.
Share this story with all of your friends by tapping our little share buttons below!