We Found Women Who Can Take Down Cookie Lyon: These Telenovela Characters

Cookie Lyon has been bossing her way through Empire and no one has been able to stop her – but that’s because she hasn’t been put up against the ass-kicking telenovela characters we grew up watching. Let’s see how Cookie would stack up…

We know Cookie can throw a punch.

Credit: Empire / FOX / realitytvgifs / Tumblr

Which is cute since she needs to distract her victim first.

But this is what a real punch looks like.

Credit: Tierra de Pasiones / Telemundo / mcdreamy / Tumblr
Credit: Tierra de Pasiones / Telemundo / mcdreamy / Tumblr

No distractions; no gimmicks. Valeria of Tierra de Pasiones just swings away and still looks amazing. #latinalife

And Cookie wouldn’t know what to do if she got headlocked by Miroslava Montemar.

Credit: Valeria / Venevisión / siropedearce / Tumblr

She’s all about the surprise attack, girl.

Señora Acero understands the power of a good weapon.

Credit: Señora Acero / Telemundo

You don’t ask questions. After this, Cookie would probably do as Señora Acero says.

Meanwhile, Cookie thinks she’s a Latina mom disciplining with that chancla.

Credit: Empire / FOX

Nice try Ms. Lyon, but you gotta work on your aim or get out.

But to Bárbara Grego, a chancla is child’s play.

Credit: Mañana es para Siempre / Televisa / giohanni / Tumblr

She knows the power of a well-placed belt. Take notes.

READ: 11 Binge-worthy Telenovelas You Need to Watch on Netflix

Sometimes the best insult is the one nobody expects.

Credit: Rebelde / Televisa / recallinfancy / Tumblr

Like Roberta Pardo’s shower treatment.

Soraya learned long ago that everyone is an enemy.

Credit: María la del Barrio / Televisa / kittypavl / Tumblr

Even the crippled and maids are fair game.

Credit: María la del Barrio / Televisa / fedehagen / Tumblr

Doesn’t Cookie know the help is the first to turn on you?

Credit: Empire / FOX / dailyempire-gifs / Tumblr

Don’t sh*t where you eat, Cookie. It can get nasty.

So, anything left to say, Cookie?

Credit: Empire / FOX / katesanfordd / Tumblr

Let Paola Bracho show you how to have the last word.

Credit: La Usurpadora / Televisa / x-xmadmax-x / Tumblr

‘Atta girl!

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Was It Murder? A Man Becomes His Own Sick Art Piece


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Follow #mituTERROR to keep up on the latest Tales of Terror directed by Hans Carrillo and brought to you by Dross and mitú. New episodes will air here and on our Facebook page every week, so don’t forget to like our page to get updates!

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