Cookie Lyon has been bossing her way through Empire and no one has been able to stop her – but that’s because she hasn’t been put up against the ass-kicking telenovela characters we grew up watching. Let’s see how Cookie would stack up…
We know Cookie can throw a punch.
Which is cute since she needs to distract her victim first.
But this is what a real punch looks like.
No distractions; no gimmicks. Valeria of Tierra de Pasiones just swings away and still looks amazing. #latinalife
And Cookie wouldn’t know what to do if she got headlocked by Miroslava Montemar.
She’s all about the surprise attack, girl.
Señora Acero understands the power of a good weapon.
Credit: Señora Acero / Telemundo
You don’t ask questions. After this, Cookie would probably do as Señora Acero says.
Meanwhile, Cookie thinks she’s a Latina mom disciplining with that chancla.
Credit: Empire / FOX
Nice try Ms. Lyon, but you gotta work on your aim or get out.
But to Bárbara Grego, a chancla is child’s play.
She knows the power of a well-placed belt. Take notes.
Sometimes the best insult is the one nobody expects.
Like Roberta Pardo’s shower treatment.
Soraya learned long ago that everyone is an enemy.
Even the crippled and maids are fair game.
Doesn’t Cookie know the help is the first to turn on you?
Don’t sh*t where you eat, Cookie. It can get nasty.
So, anything left to say, Cookie?
Let Paola Bracho show you how to have the last word.