Growing up there was a lot of yelling and lecturing from mom that probably drove you nuts. (SAME.) So, the folks at Radio Onda Cero asked people to share what mom used to say using #MiViejitaMeDecía, and these are a few of the phrases that are all too real…
A lot of what moms would say came in the form of a threat.
We’re about two weeks into the new season of the CW’s “Jane the Virgin” we’re still emotional AF about it. Season two left us in chaos. Here’s a quick recap: Jane and Michael finally married after truly a rollercoaster of a relationship. Hooray for love! A happy ending! JUST KIDDING, because…
Michael was shot on his wedding night (!!) right before he and Jane were about to finally have sex.
Credit: Jane The Virgin / CW
BY HIS PARTNER, NO LESS, WHO WAS ACTUALLY SIN ROSTRO ALL ALONG. It was a damn mess, so many things happened, and left us with a ton of questions. Here are 11 questions we’re praying the television gods answer this season.
1. Is Michael Alive After Being Shot?
Credit: Jane The Viring / CW
Okay, to be fair, this question was actually answered in the season premiere! MICHAEL IS FINE, GOD BLESS. He managed to survive the nearly fatal gunshot, and we can all rest easy. So, rejoice! ??
2. Is XO really not going to keep the baby she’s currently carrying thanks to Rogelio’s mortal enemy, Esteban Santiago?
Credit: Jane The Viring / CW
If you watched the first episode, you know that XO has decided against keeping the baby. But is she really going to stick to that decision? If you remember, the only reason her and Rogelio aren’t together is because she doesn’t want kids and he does…and now she’s preggers by a man Rogelio absolutely detests. Ay dios mio!
3. When will everyone find out Petra’s twin sister is impersonating her and Petra is the one stuck in the hospital?
Credit: Jane The Viring / CW
At the end of season two when it was revealed that Petra’s twin sister, Anezka, poisoned Petra and switched places with her, injecting her to keep her muted and pretty much a vegetable and… we all lost our minds. It was just as big of a twist as Michael getting shot. Poor Petra! But when will everyone realize Anezka is a complete psycho and is basically holding Petra prisoner? Hopefully ASAP.
4. Will Luisa ever get her sh*t together and stop running off with Sin Rostro?
Credit: Jane The Viring / CW
Ugh, Luisa. This is how some of us feel about Luisa:
Credit: Jane The Viring / CW
Luisa is clearly an addict, as the series explores through her alcoholism, but her main drug is Sin Rostro, bae/evil human/conniving witch extraordinaire. She just can’t quit her, no matter how hard she tries. Throughout seasons one and two, we’ve seen Luisa struggle to be sober… and then f*ck it all up by going straight back to Sin Rostro’s clutches. Again, what a damn mess. In season three, it’d be amazing to see Luisa get her life together, move on, and make healthy decisions that better her life.
Tell ’em girl, bye!
5. Will XO and Rogelio ever be together or will XO’s pregnancy push Rogelio over the edge?
Credit: Jane The Viring / CW
It’s the question that burns in everyone’s minds – will they ever get together?! They clearly love each other and are perfect together, etc. But it seems like they just can never get the timing right, or the issue of kids come up. And will Rogelio ever get over XO being pregnant with Esteban’s? It seems they might have hit the point of no return…
6. Will Petra’s mother ever go away?
Credit: Jane The Viring / CW
Ugh, will Petra’s evil (and annoying) mother ever go away? She and Anezka are the worst, and poor Petra is suddenly everyone’s favorite character. No wonder she is cold! Look at her family, the most manipulative and just horrible people to ever exist. Ugh, get out of here.
7. Will Rafael’s brother continue to ruin Rafael’s life?
Credit: Jane The Viring / CW
Derek is the worst. Does anyone in this show have a decent family besides Jane?? Remember, this is the dude that tricked Rafael into doing some illegal insider trading, just so he could have a stake in The Fairwick Hotel. He then flees, escaping with $200 million dollars and leaving Mutter tied in the basement. A DAMN MESS. That should be part of the show’s title – Jane the Virgin: A Damn Mess.
Hopefully Derek doesn’t stay around too long because he sucks.
8. Will Rafael ever get over Jane and meet someone new?
Credit: Jane The Viring / CW
Listen, I’m in no way #TeamRafael at all, but I want the dude to be happy. During the season two finale showed us that he has her best interests at heart because he almost confessed that he still loves her right before she walked down the aisle to Michael… But then he didn’t because he saw how happy she was, because UGH, OKAY, I GUESS HE’S A GOOD MAN. He still gets on everyone’s nerves though, but it’s fine.
The question is: will he move on and meet someone now? Will he fall in love? Which brings me to the next question…
9. Will Petra and Rafael ever get back together?
Credit: Jane The Viring / CW
Yes, they’re both a little cray and their past is WILD. They were married, then divorced, then Petra impregnated herself with Rafael’s sperm. Can I get another, #itsadamnmess?
Regardless, the two have some chemistry. Or so, Rafael thinks? Since it was revealed in season two, he actually didn’t end up sleeping with Petra, but with Anezka impersonating Petra! The layers are deep, people!
10. What will Jane and Michael’s marriage and life together look like?
Credit: Jane The Viring / CW
We’d all be fools if we thought it was going to be easy street for these two after saying, “I do.” I mean, Michael immediately got shot. WOOF. But since we all know he survives, the next question is: what is their life together actually going to look like? It’s a telenovela after all! You know there’s some drama brewing up in there and we’re both terrified and excited to know what it is!
Whiiiiich brings us to the final and most important question:
11. Will Jane ever have sex?!
Credit: Jane The Viring / CW
IT’S WHAT EVERYONE IS DYING TO KNOW. This question has already been answered, but we’re not going to spoil it for those of you who are still waiting to catch up to your DVR.
And there you have it: 11 burning questions we’re all dying to find out the answers to. Even if none of these get answered, one thing’s for certain: this is going to be one interesting season.
