Family Parties Last For Hours. Here Are 9 Reasons You Can Never Leave

Celebrate responsibly, Captain’s orders!

We’ve all been there – enjoying our time with our familia, dancing, eating, catching up with our primos, when suddenly it happens. We realize we’ve got to leave the party because we’ve literally been there for hours, and that’s when the anxiety starts to creep in. Here are are some scenarios that never fail to happen when you attempt to peace out.

1. Your Favorite Dessert Suddenly Appears


Just as you’ve kissed your abuela goodbye, your mom suddenly rolls out conchas. How can you leave when pan dulce has been introduced?! Where was this forty-five minutes ago?!

2. Your Tia Launches Into A Detailed Story


Take. Deep. Breaths. You can’t just walk out on your tia’s story, but you know for a fact she started it just because you gathered your purse and were heading out the front door…

3. Abuela Lays On The Guilt


She doesn’t even need to say anything…her laser beam eyes just hone in on you and suddenly you’re awash with guilt that’ll last twenty years. IT IS THE WORST.

 4. Everyone Starts Dancing


How dare they turn on your favorite party jam?! It’s a cold move, but your family will go to great lengths to make sure you don’t leave the party.

5. Your Tios Grill You About Where You’re Going


You can’t tell your tios that it’s none of their business, so you simply turn into a living roll-eyes emoji. Can everyone just let you live your life?!

6. Your Primos Ask If They Can Go Wherever You’re Going


How many different ways can you say “no”? The audacity of them even thinking they can tag along! It’s outrageous. And exactly what happens at every family function.

7. Your Papi Complains That They’ll Never See You Again


It’s just like your papi to be a bit dramatic. You try to smile but MY GOODNESS CAN EVERYONE CALM DOWN?!

8. Your Mom Asks If You’re Going On A Date With The Most Intrusive Of Eyes


Since your mom is constantly trying to find out about your love life, it’s no surprise she interrogates you in front of the entire family as you’re trying to make your exit.

9. You Don’t Actually End Up Leaving, Because Duh


Your family wins again… Oh well, one thing you can agree on is another round of spiced rum and cola!

Celebrate responsibly, Captain’s orders!

CAPTAIN MORGAN Spiced Rum. Caribbean Rum With Spice And Other Natural Flavors. 50% Alc/Vol. Captain Morgan Rum Co., Norwalk, CT.

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at