Marco Rubio, You’re Running for President, Not Best Comic Standing

Only 360 days left until the presidential elections and it seems like Marco Rubio is working harder to be the presidential comedian than the presidential candidate. We get it, Rubio. You’re a dad, so you are full of dad jokes.

Like a true dad, he thinks every situation deserves an ill-timed joke.

Credit: CNN / s7eep / Tumblr

Thank you for showing you have absolutely NO chill about making fun of a potentially life-threatening problem. Very presidential, Rubio.

Voicing your indecisiveness between president of the United States and NFL Commissioner is not that funny…

Credit: NRA / Marco Rubio / YouTube

“In just three days in Miami, I will announce whether I will run for president, re-election to the Senate, or for Commissioner of the National Football League.”

*laughs at own lame joke*

READ: Marco Rubio Doesn’t Want to Say Whether or Not He’d Deport Undocumented Immigrants

How did he react when he learned how much money Hillary was planning to raise? You guessed it. Another dad joke.

Credit: C-SPAN / Marco Rubio / YouTube

How long have you been sitting on that one, Rubio? Was it before you “accidentally” mixed personal and campaign money or while you were facing foreclosure?

He is also full of puns.

Credit: Marco Rubio / YouTube

Something tells me he uses this fantasy football name every year.

What does one say when given a serious award from a prestigious Latino institution?

Credit: CBS News / CBS / YouTube

You make a poor tequila joke and then laugh at your own joke to make it seem better.

Credit: CBS News / CBS / YouTube

??? It doesn’t even look like a bottle, Rubio. STFU and GTFO.

READ: Marco Rubio May Lose the Kid Vote after Hitting a Boy with Football

Who doesn’t love to hear people joke about their wealth?

Credit: NBC / NowThis / Tumblr

That’s nice and all, but I’m pretty sure Americans are struggling with student loan debt and your story is not the norm. Must be nice.

Question: “Is 43 old enough to be president?”

Credit: C-SPAN / Marco Rubio / YouTube

Rubio: This joke is going to kill.

Everybody except Marco Rubio:

Credit: Emperor’s New Groove / Disney / ariels-dream / Tumblr

*f-cking crickets*

Remember his water joke? Well, he is full of them if that’s your thing.

Credit: mfprex / YouTube

Oh. That’s why you are always so thirsty after your speeches.

READ: Guatemala Tries Something Totally New: Electing a TV Comedian for President

He tries his best to make light of situations…and fails.

Credit: CPAC / FreedomsLighthouse / YouTube

Remember that horrible blizzard that slammed Washington D.C. and prevented the government from working?

“Now that I come to think of it, the blizzard might be the best thing to happen to the American economy in 12 months.”

Really, dude? That’s what your thinking at that moment?

Credit: Dear White People / Lionsgate / ilivewithghosts / Tumblr

Go sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done, Marquito.

I just don’t even know anymore…

Credit: Glee / FOX / thegiftedoneishere / Tumblr

Can we not have a comedian as president, please?

Share this story to prove that nobody is immune from terrible, unfunny dad jokes…even humorless politicians.

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com