Cold season is here! Don’t panic, we got you. Here are some of abuelita’s highly-recommended remedies to get rid of your damn cold so you can go on with your life. Gracias, abuelita.
First, don’t wash your hair. No. Matter. What.
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Because you are already sick and getting your hair wet is only going to get you sicker, obvi. It’s like a Latino commandment.
Sleep with a chopped onion next to your bed and you should be all better.
Nothing says healthy like crying from those harsh fumes, abue swears by it.
Grill a green tomato, slice it, and place in ON your throat to rid yourself of that sore throat. But don’t eat because it doesn’t work like that.
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You can put the leftovers on your feet for extra immunity. Tomatillo basically translates to “miracle fruit,” FYI.
Use an egg to capture whatever is ailing you.
Eggs are like gods to the ill in Latino culture, and by gods we mean sponges just soaking it all up.
Put a piece of garlic between your teeth and cheek, but DON’T chew it.
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Horrible breath is a small price to pay for good health.
Put your face over a boiling pot of water with a towel over your head and breath in the steam.
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Or you could just get a humidifier, but they didn’t exist when abuelita was younger.
Caldo: because even if it’s 135 degrees outside, you aren’t sweating out your cold fast enough.
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And the more sick you are, the hotter and spicier it should be to do the body good.
Vicks ALL over your body. Literally.
If all else fails, just sip a couple shots of tequila to knock out your cold.
It will either kill the cold or knock you out so you can properly sleep it off. Either way, sign me up.