8 Things That Inevitably Happen When You’re Sick
First, you’re asked if you’re really, really sick.
Are you suuuure you’re not just trying to get out of school? Trying to miss work? Every illness is first approached with a healthy dose of suspicion and skepticism. Fever? Chew some ice to cool down. Indigestion? Give it time. Leg broken? Walk on your hands.
Next, the vaporu comes out.
Have a cold? A case of the flu? Have you been decapitated? Get you some vaporu and it’ll be ok.
Don’t forget the Sprite! You’ll need that, too.
Stomach pain? Diarrhea? Intestines falling straight out of your body? A sip of Sprite will cure you.
And then there’s the egg…
Ah, the cleansing power of eggs?
You’ll have to drink your weight in caldo, too. Homemade, of course.
I personally recommend caldo de res, with lots and lots of corn, but you do you.
If you’re Catholic, a saint will definitely be asked to intercede on your behalf.
Or dozens of saints, tbh. And maybe Buddha, for good measure.
Maaaybe some holy water, too.
Look, man, you can never be too careful.
And when all else fails…
Look to the power of the ranita.
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