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8 Things That Inevitably Happen When You’re Sick

First, you’re asked if you’re really, really sick.

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Are you suuuure you’re not just trying to get out of school? Trying to miss work? Every illness is first approached with a healthy dose of suspicion and skepticism. Fever? Chew some ice to cool down. Indigestion? Give it time. Leg broken? Walk on your hands.

Next, the vaporu comes out.

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Have a cold? A case of the flu? Have you been decapitated? Get you some vaporu and it’ll be ok.

Don’t forget the Sprite! You’ll need that, too.

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Stomach pain? Diarrhea? Intestines falling straight out of your body? A sip of Sprite will cure you.

And then there’s the egg…

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Ah, the cleansing power of eggs?

You’ll have to drink your weight in caldo, too. Homemade, of course.

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I personally recommend caldo de res, with lots and lots of corn, but you do you.

If you’re Catholic, a saint will definitely be asked to intercede on your behalf.

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Or dozens of saints, tbh. And maybe Buddha, for good measure.

Maaaybe some holy water, too.

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Look, man, you can never be too careful.

And when all else fails…

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Look to the power of the ranita.

READ: 13 Times Mom Made You More Sick by Taking You to a Curandera

Want something to make you feel better? Try vaporu, and then click below to like our Facebook page.

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