food & drink

7 Reasons You Need Hot Cheetos To Live Your Best Life (And Death)

Flickr Creative Commons / Rev. Xanatos Satanicos Bombastic

Not to be dramatic or anything, but it’s clear that Hot Cheetos are the single most important invention in the history of time. They are literally life-changing. To wit: They’re the invention of a dude named Richard Montañez, whose idea for the perfect snack helped him rise from janitor at Frito-Lay to an executive at PepsiCo. They pretty much improve everything they touch. For example…

Snacks

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Credit: Instagram / @maverickbriones

Food. It’s good, right? WRONG. All food is essentially just a blank canvas for Hot Cheetos. From hot dogs to hamburgers to literal bags of cheese, here’s a complete list of ways to up your Hot Cheeto game.

Desserts

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Credit: YouTube / Giving in to Cyn

You can’t just use Hot Cheetos on savory foods, you fool. Use ’em to make desserts too, like Hot Cheeto brittle, Hot Cheeto marshmallow treats, and Hot Cheeto macarons.

Drinks

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Credit: YouTube / The Tipsy Bartender

The only thing better than Hot Cheetos are Hot Cheetos-and-alcohol. Maybe you’d enjoy from Flamin’ Hot Cheeto tequila shots? By “enjoy,” I mean “drink while crying.”

First Dates

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Credit: Source image via Flickr Creative Commons / Roy

First dates can be really rough, not to mention awkward, stressful and often totally lacking in Hot Cheetos. That’s why it’s always best to present your date / potential future soulmate with a bouquet of Hot Cheetos. It shows you care, that you have good taste and that you also like things that taste good.

Babies

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Credit: Source Image via Flickr Creative Commons / Myles Grant

Everyone is having babies. Sometimes several babies. Hundreds and thousands of babies, all over Facebook and at the table next to yours and screaming all throughout every movie at every movie theater.  The solution? Replace babies with Hot Cheetos. You’re welcome.

Awkward Family Functions

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Credit: Source Image via Flickr Creative Commons / Rev. Xanatos Satanicos Bombastic 

There’s nothing worse than standing in front of the tia you haven’t seen in sixteen years as she asks you “¿Y tu novio/a?” and then points out that you’ve gained a lot of weight since the last time she saw you. And then there’s your creepy uncle, the cousin you had a crush on when you were younger, the cousin everyone compares you to and Abuelo, who won’t stop farting and trying to mask it by coughing. So just don’t do it. Don’t hang out with them. Replace your entire family with Hot Cheetos.

Funerals

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Credit: Source Image via Flickr Creative Commons / antsnax

Death is kind of a bummer. But you what isn’t? Hot Cheetos.

See? Don’t they make everything better?

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Credit: KatyPerryVEVO / ET Online

WATCH: Takis vs. Flamin’ Hot Cheetos

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Melissa Fumero and Stephanie Beatriz of 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' Are The Other Latina TV Duo Absolutely Killing It

Entertainment

Melissa Fumero and Stephanie Beatriz of ‘Brooklyn Nine-Nine’ Are The Other Latina TV Duo Absolutely Killing It

Brooklyn Nine-Nine / Fox

Flaca and Maritza of “OITNB” aren’t the only Latina duo kicking ass on TV these days. Rosa and Amy from the Golden Globe-winning sitcom “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” are a killer comedic duo.

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Credit: Brooklyn Nine-Nine / Fox

And the best news? They play razor sharp detectives, not meter maids.

Melissa Fumero plays the innocent, smartypants detective Amy Santiago.

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Stephanie Beatriz is tough-as-nails detective Rosa Diaz.

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That scar over Stephanie’s right eye is from tripping on a lego, but “Rosa” would prefer saying it was from a knife fight.

Together, detectives Diaz and Santiago kick ass.

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Credit: Brooklyn Nine-Nine / Fox

Diaz is sarcastic and kind of terrifying.

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Credit: Brooklyn Nine-Nine / Fox 

Santiago is adorkable.

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Credit: Brooklyn Nine-Nine / Fox

And they’ll both crack you up.

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Credit: Brooklyn Nine-Nine / Fox

Fumero, born to Cuban parents and raised in New Jersey, says growing up Latina gave her strength.

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Credit: Alberto E. Rodriguez / Getty

“I think that there’s a quiet strength you’re brought up around when you’re Latin, especially growing up in a Cuban family made of refugees. There definitely was an extreme work ethic — anything less than working really, really hard is unacceptable — and just a general toughness and strength that I learned from the women in my family and my father,” said Fumero to Huffington Post.

Fumero studied drama at NYU. On her last day of class, she got hired on the soap “One Life to Live.”

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Credit: One Life To Live / ABC

For four years, she played Adriana Cramer, a naive Puerto Rican girl who aspired to become a fashion designer.

You may also remember Fumero as aspiring minion Zoe on “Gossip Girl.”

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Credit: Gossip Girl / CW

Newsflash: She’s currently sporting a baby bump!

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Credit: Alberto E. Rodriguez / Getty

This detective just got put on diaper duty.

Stephanie Beatriz was born in Argentina to a Bolivian mother and Colombian father.

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Credit: Jemal Countess / Getty

She moved to Texas when she was three. Can you say “Tejana boss bitch”?

She got her start in drama as a Shakespearean stage actress.

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He resume includes performances at renowned theaters like Yale Repertory, Old Globe Theatre and the Oregon Shakespeare Festival.

You may remember her as Sonia, Gloria’s little sister on “Modern Family.”

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Credit: Modern Family / ABC

You know, the one who tried to seduce Jay.

Together, Beatriz and Fumero are proud Latinas… and total goofballs.

Almost as hot and tempting as those fries.

And they’re helping destroy those one-dimensional roles that Latinas have played for decades.

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Credit: Ben Gabbe / Getty

Beatriz told Latina magazine they’re excited to bring much-needed diversity to television: “If you look at the landscape of television right now, we are in a really exciting time, with shows like ‘Brooklyn Nine-Nine,’ ‘Orange Is the New Black,’ ‘Jane the Virgin,’ and ‘How to Get Away with Murder.’ There are so many different types of people right now on television. The light is coming through the cracks. You can’t block it out anymore. It’s changing.”

What’s your favorite Rosa & Amy moment? Tell us in the comments below and don’t forget to share on Facebook and Twitter!

Correction: A previous version of this story incorrectly stated that Stephanie Beatriz played Amy Santiago and Melissa Fumero played Rosa Diaz.

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