OK, we officially have a problem. We, as a society, are playing real fast and loose with the definition of “taco,” and we would do well to reel that sh*t in. Pretty soon you’re going to have people in your face demanding that hot dogs be considered tacos. Enough.
Here are some things that are not tacos, officially and for the record:
These eggplant things:
Finally, an appropriate and correct use of scare quotes pic.twitter.com/06l0Dleybx
— Doug Saunders (@DougSaunders) June 17, 2016
These things already have a name, and it’s “salad.”
This heap of cauliflower:
“Hi, mom? Yes, please come pick me up. I’m so done.”
This work of evil brujeria:
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 5, 2016
The devil is real, and I rebuke him and his so-called “taco bowl.”
This dark-sided emoji:
They say this is a taco, but
This damn mess:
Like, look, I’ll eat them. I’ll eat all of them. You can’t even try to stop me from eating them. But they’re not tacos.
This brain-shattering madness:
I literally can’t. And what’s more, I won’t.
Thank you for your time.
Let’s taco ’bout some more pleasant things now. How was your day? What’s your favorite kind of taco? Can I have some?