When you grow up addicted to novelas, you pick up valuable lessons that can be applied to your daily life.
1. You (probably) have a long-lost twin you don’t know about.
It’s safer to just assume that so there aren’t any heart-attack-inducing surprises.
2. And that twin is probably an evil twin who might want to kill you.
Unless of course, you’re the evil one. #cuidaoooo ?
3. Step siblings, and sometimes full siblings, are also the definition of evil.
Just like Cinderella, minus the talking rats. They’re just regular rats.
4. But you can solve any problem in life with just a little push…
Into a pool, down the stairs, from a building.
5. Novelas taught us the recipe to get away with murder.
Credit: La Ursurpadora / Televisa
Main ingredients: a hot fire and a cold af heart.
6. If you want to be rich, you must first be super poor.
Because there’s no in between.
7. And when it happens, you’ll turn into a cartoon-style rich bro with crazy behavior.
…Or “Trump” for short.
8. Your sister might be your mom.
9. You learned how to determine a woman’s age by the size of her hair.
The bigger the hair, the closer to heaven… time-wise.
10. On occasion, school uniforms are sexier than everyday attire.
Credit: Rebelde / Televisa / alejandropuga / Tumblr
Especially for grown adults.
11. How to wake up like this.
Step 1: Pretend it is your wedding day.
Step 2: Get your makeup professionally done.
Step 3: Knock tf out.
12. Amnesia is possible at any moment, and it’s the only way to forget all the baggage in your life.
Thank god because therapy is expensive, yo.
13. If you slap him, he’ll fall in love with you.*
*Warning: Try this at your own risk.
14. Your pool guy can totally be a model.
…But chooses not to. Why cash in on those rock-hard abs and live a lavish lifestyle when he can be closer to whichever rich estate family member he’s in love with at the moment?
15. It’s very possible that your lover is your brother.
So to be sure, stay single at all times all your life. (um…check)
16. The older and more evil you are, the more makeup you have to wear.
70 year old woman with a vengeance or RuPaul mentee? We will never know.
And if any of these lessons for some weird reason don’t work in your life, that’s on you, bro.
READ: 15 Times Telenovelas Had The Best Responses To Everyday Life
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