Trying to figure women out is as easy as solving this: (a + b) = a + 3a2b + 3ab2 + b3
Exactly, luckily we’re here to help with the translation of what Latinas really mean when they say these words…
Translation: A devious little world that contains all of the frustration in the universe. I just won’t let you have a piece of my mind…Right this second.
Do whatever you want.
Translation: This is a test and if you are dumb enough to do what you really want, be prepared to suffer the consequences.
Ya casi estoy lista.
Translation: I’ll be ready when I’m ready, which is not any time soon. Go find yourself something better to do and stop asking what time I’ll be ready.
You don’t have to come, but…
Translation: You better come. Unless you’re ready to go back to singles land, you really have no choice.
We need to talk.
Translation: Start fear mode NOW. Whatever you do, don’t you dare interrupt.
We’ll talk about this later.
Translation: You’re almost winning this argument, but I need a second to regroup and think of a better comeback.
I don’t want to ruin our friendship.
Translation: You’re sweet…And ugly.
Translation: EVERYTHING is wrong.
Translation: You win this argument, but I just refuse to acknowledge it.
Me veo gorda?
Translation: This is not a real question. If you answer yes you’re dead.
No tengo hambre.
Translation: I just want a bite… Order whatever you want and share.
Translation: I literally just ate a two-pound burrito and I’m not really feeling like I want to take my clothes off. Just roll over.
What did you just say?
Translation: I’m really trying to help get your foot out of your mouth. Take advantage of the opportunity and quickly reconsider your last comment.
I’m not mad.
Translation: I’m going to kill you.
Do you think she’s pretty?
Translation: If you so much attempt to turn your head to verify your answer – you’re dead.
Translation: Maybe or maybe not. But probably not.