15 Ways To Handle ‘¿Y Tu Novio?’ Like A Queen
There’s no way around it, bbs. It’s “¿Y tu novio?” season and well, it’s a tumultuous time that all Latinos have gone through and like them, you’re gonna be just fine.
A few weeks before, you’re feelin’ yourself…
You went out with your girls on Halloween, got some new cute Fall outfits and the new Selena MAC collection, so life is good.
…Then you start getting suspicious of all the couples around you.
It’s getting chilly, people are snuggling and then you remember….
That’s when you know it’s coming.
…And suddenly being single will become the most devastating curse to ever be placed on you. (Abuelita’s words, not mine.)
Ugh. So, it’s time to prepare.
You can survive this. You did last year… And the year before that.
…But first, you silently freak out.
CREDIT: JANE THE VIRGIN/CW
So you ~casually~ text that one guy…
CREDIT: MINDY PROJECT/FOX
Or start flirting with those Tinder matches again because you kind of have to have some sort of dude waiting in the wings, right? Yeah? Anyone?
You decide whether you’re going to fight family or give in this year.
Me: thanksgiving is coming y la tia me va preguntar "y el novio"
Me to me: preguntale por la dieta pic.twitter.com/w3bxu2YOQx
— gretch♛ (@TheGretchell14) November 21, 2016
Is it worth being rude to la tía that makes the best empanadas? You know she holds a grudge FOREVER.
The day before the first big holiday reunion, give yourself that pep talk.
Want to avoid the "y tu novio/a" convo at the thanksgiving table? Simple, bring up politics and you'll be good to go!
— Jennifer (@jenniferfernn) November 23, 2016
This is serious business.
…Maybe drink some extra coquito before you arrive.
You’re going to need it.
Show up relaxed, but keep an eye out for the stray tías y tíos…
Those are the ones waiting to pounce so, when they hit you with it…
Hold your ground and don’t show weakness.
You got this!
And tell them that life sin novio is just fine…
Maybe you have a few, maybe just a hook-up buddy, maybe no one, who cares? Where’s the food and booze?
Then proceed to eat a lot.
CREDIT: 30 ROCK/NBC
And if anyone asks why you’re eating so much, tell them you’re done with questions for the night.
…and cry when the boleros come on at 2:13 a.m.
It’s okay, too much tequila makes us think silly things.
You’ll wake up hungover, but feelin’ fine.
You made it! You’re still single and the fam will ask you about el novio on Christmas, but they love you no matter what. Let’s face it, even if you get a boyfriend, he’ll never be good enough for them, anyway.
How do you cope with novio season? Let us know so we can hold each other.
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