Every quince is as unique as the quinceañera being celebrated, but let’s not pretend there aren’t a few similarities you find at every quince like…
1. A dress that looks like it ate every other dress for breakfast.
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Sometimes the dress is so big you can barely see the quinceañera inside.
2. A LARGE limo that’s anything but demure.
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…that is always late!
3. Bottles of magic hairspray.
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Because you have to make sure every pelito is as stiff as a board.
4. Centerpieces that make you go DAYUM!
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They’re not real centros de mesa if your tías aren’t fighting over them.
5. A few rateros.
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Can you blame people for stealing the centerpieces? Nope, you can’t. It’s like a battle of master thieves to see who gets to take the arreglos home with them.
6. A recuerdo that’s unforgettable.
Yet so many people forget to take them home.
7. A cake big enough to feed an entire pueblo.
I mean you can’t have a big dress, a big limo and not have BIG cake.
8. Color coordinated linens.
If it doesn’t match the dress, it’s not happening.
9. A photographer who does the impossible to get the perfect shot.
He’ll climb on top of a tree if he has to.
10. A squad that has to werk.
They weren’t invited just to look pretty.
11. A quinceañera who has to fake it.
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Because who knows, that person might be her fourth cousin.
12. That kid who just can’t hang.
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There’s always that one kid who gets caught snoozing under the table or on a bed made of chairs.
13. Las criticonas.
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You know the ones, they’re usually the tías sitting together surveying the scene and telling each other how they would’ve done it better.
14. At least one non-Latino guest who’s having a blast being around so much fabulousness.
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Gotta love diversity.
15. A man who starts off as a catrín…and ends up as a sloppy borracho.
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And creates a ton of drama. It’s open bar after all.
READ: 7 Quinceañeras Who Didn’t Settle For Basic Themes
