With A Suegra Like This, It’s No Wonder You Left Him
Suegras are very much like the loto: you’re lucky if you end up winning her over. But whether she cooks your favorite chilaquiles or complains about you on a regular basis, la suegra is here to stay.
The Celosa
CREDIT: BEYONCE/ JELOUS / Colombia Records
This one didnât win a daughter, she lost an hijo.
The âI know Betterâ
CREDIT: RIFFSY/ LUCY/ CBS
Everything you do she can do better, from fixing your boo a torta to ironing your own damn shirts. Thereâs no point in arguing with her. You’ll never win.
The Chismosa
CREDIT: MI CRAZON ES TUYO / Televisa / UNIVISON / TUMBLR
From your grocery list and your mortgage payment to the reason por quĂ© no estĂĄs embarazada todavĂa (are you guys having enough sex?), she has to know it all.
The Wannabe Abuela
ÂżCuĂĄndo van a tener hijos? Me voy a morir sin ver a mis nietos. Have you guys taken fertility tests? Es que no comes lo suficiente por eso no quedas embarazada. To her you are nothing but a baby-breeding machine⊠that isnât working properly.
The Sweet One
Abuelita Martha llego!!?? #estamosfelices#abuelita#abuelitamartha#gdl#fremont#yallego#mexico#suegra
A photo posted by Theresa Garcia-Gutierrez (@theresagh72) on
CREDIT: @theresagh72 / Instagram
A rare species. She doesnât just say you and her son are a perfect match, she actually believes it! One word of advice: treasure her.
La Odiosa
CREDIT: COLLEGE HUMOR/ MONSTER IN-LAW/ NEW LINE CINEMA
Either she flat-out dislikes you, or es una doble and will pretend to like you in public and be una odiosa to you in private. We still haven’t decided which one’s worse.
The One Suffers From Intense OCD
CREDIT: GLEEFORUM/ GLEE/ FOX
On the downside, each one of her visits will be nerve wracking. On the upside, if sheâs OCD enough, she might just clean your house for you.
The Overbearing One
CREDIT: METRO/ GOSSIP GIRL/ THE CW
She needs you to call her daily. She also expects calls before you travel, while you’re on vacation, until the second you return. On top of that, expects phone calls cuando estĂĄ enferma, when sheâs well, when itâs cold, when it’s hot. You get the point.
The âI Canât Pronounce Your Nameâ
CREDIT: GIFSEC/ THE OPRAH WINFREY SHOW/Â OPRAH WINFREY
She canât pronounce Lucero, so she calls you Marioâs wife. No biggie, you guys have only been together eight years.
The Barbie
CREDIT: que-cooltura / TUMBLR
She has her plastic surgeonâs number on speed dial and would often answer âhermanasâ when asked how you two are related.
The Manipulator
CREDIT: GIPHY/ KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS/ E!
Her son belongs to her, and she will use emotional blackmail to make sure it stays that way, even if it means ruining your date night plans.
The Embutidora
CREDIT: BEAUTY AND THE BEAST/ DISNEY / Holidayhotmess / Tumblr
You canât get her to believe that you, or more importantly HER baby, are eating properly. She will stop by with chilaquiles, sopas, batidos and arepas on a regular basis. If you have children, sheâll always comment on how flacos they are.
The BFF
CREDIT: TUMBLR/ GOSSIP GIRL/ THE CW
Shopping, nail appointments, grocery shopping, novela y cafecito, and of course gossip. Sheâs managed to score your ride-or-die list.
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