Suegras are very much like the loto: you’re lucky if you end up winning her over. But whether she cooks your favorite chilaquiles or complains about you on a regular basis, la suegra is here to stay.
The Celosa
CREDIT: BEYONCE/ JELOUS / Colombia Records
This one didn’t win a daughter, she lost an hijo.
The “I know Better”
CREDIT: RIFFSY/ LUCY/ CBS
Everything you do she can do better, from fixing your boo a torta to ironing your own damn shirts. There’s no point in arguing with her. You’ll never win.
The Chismosa
CREDIT: MI CRAZON ES TUYO / Televisa / UNIVISON / TUMBLR
From your grocery list and your mortgage payment to the reason por qué no estás embarazada todavía (are you guys having enough sex?), she has to know it all.
The Wannabe Abuela
CREDIT: PLL / CW / Heckyeahreactiongifs / Tumblr
¿Cuándo van a tener hijos? Me voy a morir sin ver a mis nietos. Have you guys taken fertility tests? Es que no comes lo suficiente por eso no quedas embarazada. To her you are nothing but a baby-breeding machine… that isn’t working properly.
The Sweet One
CREDIT: @theresagh72 / Instagram
A rare species. She doesn’t just say you and her son are a perfect match, she actually believes it! One word of advice: treasure her.
La Odiosa
CREDIT: COLLEGE HUMOR/ MONSTER IN-LAW/ NEW LINE CINEMA
Either she flat-out dislikes you, or es una doble and will pretend to like you in public and be una odiosa to you in private. We still haven’t decided which one’s worse.
The One Suffers From Intense OCD
CREDIT: GLEEFORUM/ GLEE/ FOX
On the downside, each one of her visits will be nerve wracking. On the upside, if she’s OCD enough, she might just clean your house for you.
The Overbearing One
CREDIT: METRO/ GOSSIP GIRL/ THE CW
She needs you to call her daily. She also expects calls before you travel, while you’re on vacation, until the second you return. On top of that, expects phone calls cuando está enferma, when she’s well, when it’s cold, when it’s hot. You get the point.
The “I Can’t Pronounce Your Name”
CREDIT: GIFSEC/ THE OPRAH WINFREY SHOW/ OPRAH WINFREY
She can’t pronounce Lucero, so she calls you Mario’s wife. No biggie, you guys have only been together eight years.
The Barbie
CREDIT: que-cooltura / TUMBLR
She has her plastic surgeon’s number on speed dial and would often answer “hermanas” when asked how you two are related.
The Manipulator
CREDIT: GIPHY/ KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS/ E!
Her son belongs to her, and she will use emotional blackmail to make sure it stays that way, even if it means ruining your date night plans.
The Embutidora
CREDIT: BEAUTY AND THE BEAST/ DISNEY / Holidayhotmess / Tumblr
You can’t get her to believe that you, or more importantly HER baby, are eating properly. She will stop by with chilaquiles, sopas, batidos and arepas on a regular basis. If you have children, she’ll always comment on how flacos they are.
The BFF
CREDIT: TUMBLR/ GOSSIP GIRL/ THE CW
Shopping, nail appointments, grocery shopping, novela y cafecito, and of course gossip. She’s managed to score your ride-or-die list.
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