13 Times Mom Made You More Sick by Taking You to a Curandera

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1. At birth.

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She wasn’t cursed for 9 months, she was pregnant with you.

2. When she thought we were cursed by Satan.

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That time you drank the Drano and you started foaming at the mouth. She thought it was evil spirits taking over your body.

3. Is this a yolk?


The time you needed a limpia because you had a fever and every huevo used broke on you. It looked like you were baptized in huevos … and your fever started cooking the eggs. #SunnysideUp

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4. When she gave us foochi limpias.


That time in high school when you got a deep limpia because your mom swore that flu was brujeria and you stunk so bad for two days, you missed homecoming  — AND you were still sick!

5.  After our first love…spell.

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You were drowning in teenage-heartbreak-tears and she wanted to bond with you so she decided to buy a spell and curse your bae. She probably should have sent you to a therapist.

6. When we were trippin’.

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That time you hit your head and started hallucinating and your mom thought you were having ‘visions.’

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7. After a simple stomachache. 

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Food poisoning was more fun when your mom knew it was empacho.

8. Every time we got wheezy.

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That time your mom thought your coughing was sent from the negative energy of the landlord…turns out it was mold! #KnowYourRights

9. When we were poppin’ and lockin’.

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That time you broke your leg playing soccer and she was tried to pop it back into place. #Limpy

10. Mal ojo, oh no!

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 It wasn’t a mal ojo, it was chorro.

11. For being a chillon/a.


When you were throwing a fit and making a scene at Target and she took your butt to la curandera but you really had an ear infection.

12. Salvia-Me Dios!


When you started having allergies and she burned sage…

 13. Para sacarnos el demonio…

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Because you were too young to smoke, but the perfect age to be possessed by a demon. #pinkeye

Hit that share button if you were ever taken to a curandera for something ridiculous. 

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