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13 Times Mom Made You More Sick by Taking You to a Curandera

Credit: @thegluster / Instagram

1. At birth.

Credit: @mommy_andme2016 / Instagram

She wasn’t cursed for 9 months, she was pregnant with you.

2. When she thought we were cursed by Satan.

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Credit: Seinfeld / NBC

That time you drank the Drano and you started foaming at the mouth. She thought it was evil spirits taking over your body.

3. Is this a yolk?

3_Yolk

The time you needed a limpia because you had a fever and every huevo used broke on you. It looked like you were baptized in huevos … and your fever started cooking the eggs. #SunnysideUp

READ: Latina Ex-Girlfriends Know Where to Hit Their Exes Where It Hurts

4. When she gave us foochi limpias.

Foochi

That time in high school when you got a deep limpia because your mom swore that flu was brujeria and you stunk so bad for two days, you missed homecoming  — AND you were still sick!

5.  After our first love…spell.

Credit: @coldtoed / Instagram

You were drowning in teenage-heartbreak-tears and she wanted to bond with you so she decided to buy a spell and curse your bae. She probably should have sent you to a therapist.

6. When we were trippin’.

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Credit: endearingyouare / Tumblr

That time you hit your head and started hallucinating and your mom thought you were having ‘visions.’

READ: No One Knows Hot to Get Rid of Haters Like Curanderas

7. After a simple stomachache. 

sick
Credit: SpongeBob Squarepants / Nickelodeon

Food poisoning was more fun when your mom knew it was empacho.

8. Every time we got wheezy.

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Credit: jack-skellignton / Tumblr

That time your mom thought your coughing was sent from the negative energy of the landlord…turns out it was mold! #KnowYourRights

9. When we were poppin’ and lockin’.

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Credit: kellymagovern / Tumblr

That time you broke your leg playing soccer and she was tried to pop it back into place. #Limpy

10. Mal ojo, oh no!

chorro
Credit: Bridesmaids / Universal Pictures

 It wasn’t a mal ojo, it was chorro.

11. For being a chillon/a.

crybaby

When you were throwing a fit and making a scene at Target and she took your butt to la curandera but you really had an ear infection.

12. Salvia-Me Dios!

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When you started having allergies and she burned sage…

 13. Para sacarnos el demonio…

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Credit: mr-crooked / Tumblr

Because you were too young to smoke, but the perfect age to be possessed by a demon. #pinkeye

Hit that share button if you were ever taken to a curandera for something ridiculous. 

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Chicano 2.0: Hoodprofet

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Chicano 2.0: Hoodprofet

Exploring Roots

Mark David is a Chicano Afro-indigenous man, living in South LA, inspiring his peers through social media. @hoodprofet shares thoughts on his mixed race and Chicano origins through spoken word poetry, song and conversation.

“We demonize the folks that live in the hood. We forget that these are the same people that smile and take care of the kids and brush their teeth in the morning,” @hoodprofet says.

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