Latina moms can be all kinds of sweet and doting, but that certainly doesn’t mean they are pushovers. You better believe that if you cross them you, will face their wrath EVERY SINGLE TIME. So word of advice, don’t do any of the following things, like, EVER.
OMAIGA, did you just sound irritated?
You better watch your tone with your mother because even if you aren’t yelling, she can hear the grito under your breath.
Don’t you dare leave your dishes at the table.
What? It’s not enough that the woman cooks for you, she’s gotta clean up after you too? Just sayin’!
No matter where you go and what the weather is, bring a damn sweater.
If you leave the house without un suéter, then you deserve to pretty much catch every dang disease out there according to your mom.
Don’t get caught takin’ hoochie pics to post online.
This is a mandatory chanclazo offense. You should know better.
When you try to leave the house lookin’ all cuachalote.
Saggy pants and mom don’t get along at all.
Novela time means your mouth might as well be wired shut.
You better not make your mom get up off that sofa and make you be quiet!
Uttering the word “bored” is not allowed.
If you’ve got time to be bored, you’ve got time to clean something.
Plastic bags are NOT to be thrown out.
Bolsas de plástico are not garbage to your mom, they are to be stored for a myriad of uses.
When you cry before she gives you a reason to cry.
Seriously, what were you thinking? Bite your tongue, don’t blink, do whatever it takes to keep those tears at bay.
Whatever you do, do not talk back!
I hope you had a good life because it’s about to be over.
Don’t even think about rushing your mother.
You really screwed up because you’re not on your time, you’re on her time and you better not forget it.
Cuando te portas mal en frente de otra gente.
She’ll give you a pass in public ’cause she’s classy like that, but she’ll keep brewing the rage and unleash it when you’re in private.
When you suggest eating out.
All she hears is that you hate her food and you’re gonna be punished with a never ending bowl of frijoles.