identity

13 Non-Super Powers That’ll Convince You The Person Who Gave Birth To You Is From Another Planet

She-Ra / Mattel / incognitosusie / Tumblr / scribetechnologies / YouTube

Moms are seriously the superheroes of every household. Not only are they the glue that literally holds everything together, they also have some terrifying and incredible superpowers.

The most incredible superpower mami has is telepathy. She can literally read your mind.

She-Ra / Mattel / incognitosusie / Tumblr
CREDIT: She-Ra / Mattel / incognitosusie / Tumblr

Me: *thinks about asking mom to stay the night with my bestie*

Mom: Te vas a quedar aquí esta noche.

Me: How did you even know?! ?

Mom: *taps her temple*

Most people have five sense, she has a sixth sense that tells her when you are up to no good.

The Road To El Dorado / DreamWorks Animation / fuckyeahreactions / Tumblr
CREDIT: The Road To El Dorado / DreamWorks Animation / fuckyeahreactions / Tumblr

She. Always. Knows.

She hears everything you say even when she’s deep in chisme conversation with her comadre.

We are mitú / Facebook
CREDIT: We are mitú / Facebook

And you know that a “shh” to her friend doesn’t mean anything good for you.

She has her own arsenal including the chancla…

welele / Tumblr
CREDIT: welele / Tumblr

The only superhero weapon that can make civilizations crumble.

…and her handy-dandy cinturón.

The Maury Show / GIPHY
CREDIT: The Maury Show / GIPHY

Even superheroes need that nuclear option.

She even has a sidekick, a.k.a. papi, who always has her back and makes sure (her) justice is delivered.

Tangeled / Disney / Tumblr
CREDIT: Tangeled / Disney / Tumblr

That is one united front that nobody is ever going to be able to break.

Moms legit have the echolocation skill which helps them find anything in the house.

fruitsoftheweb /Tumblr
CREDIT: fruitsoftheweb /Tumblr

Doesn’t matter if you search for one minute or one week, she will always find it before you.

She. Is. Everywhere.

Teachers on TV Land / GIPHY
CREDIT: Teachers on TV Land / GIPHY

Seriously. Either she has her own army of minions or she is the only person on earth able to be multiple places at one time.

She even has a secret identity, like when she answers the phone nicely after ruthlessly tearing you apart.

Smallville / HULU / GIPHY
CREDIT: Smallville / HULU / GIPHY

Mom to me: ? ? “¡Te lo juro! If you talk to me like that again, I will smack the teeth to the back of your head!”

Mom when person answers phone: ?? “¡Hola mi niña! Cuentame. ¿Como estuvo la boda de tu hija?”

She can also become completely invisible just waiting for you to act up.

maudit / Tumblr
CREDIT: maudit / Tumblr

Are you sure there is no one waiting for you to get home?

Two words: super strength.

Barcroft TV / YouTube
CREDIT: Barcroft TV / YouTube

She will lift any piece of furniture in the house and she will also endure tremendous amounts of pain just to see her babies smile.

Her powers aren’t only used to scold you. She uses them for good like to show up at random times just to be by your side when you need her.

The Flash / DC Comics / Warner Bros. Entertainment / The CW / DavidSoboz / YouTube
CREDIT: The Flash / DC Comics / Warner Bros. Entertainment / The CW / DavidSoboz / YouTube

No distance is too great to keep mom from taking care of her baby.

Because have you ever seen mom and Wonder Woman in the same room?

Wonder Woman / Bruce Lansbury Productions / christopherjonesart / Tumblr
CREDIT: Wonder Woman / Bruce Lansbury Productions / christopherjonesart / Tumblr

Didn’t think so.


READ: Tweets About Latina Moms That Will Absolutely Make You Laugh

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20 Things You’ll Definitely Understand If You Have A Latina Mom

Entertainment

20 Things You’ll Definitely Understand If You Have A Latina Mom

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Remember those years of childhood when you slowly started to realize your family wasn’t like your white friend’s families? Now that you’re grown, we present you the tip of the iceberg: just twenty things that made your mom different from the other moms.

You were never allowed to go to the super-chaperoned and G-rated sleepover parties.

CREDIT: @ds_6x / Twitter

The invites didn’t include background checks on both parents or a letter of recommendation from the priest? Can’t be trusted. You’re staying home and watching a novela with your mama and you’re going to be happy about it.

Your mom cooked for a dozen people, cada noche.

CREDIT: @ItsZoeKelly / Twitter

You know, just in case your friends came over. Dinner at your house meant that everyone was guilted into eating a second or third helping. We roll our guests out and it is just a part of our culture.

Your mom made you eat dinner at home before going to your friends’ for dinner.

CREDIT: @LMVLSoCal / Twitter

“We eat dinner as a family.” Super frustrating when your family is the only one that eats past 9 p.m. Plus, mom could never be sure if you were to have real comida at your friend’s house. What if they order pizza? She can’t let her angel be out there eating bad food, can she?

Your mom is tight with God, so her word is basically His.

CREDIT: @ShroudandTilma / Twitter

Legit. Everything you wanted to do or asked for had to be screened by mom and she was ready with the word of the Lord. If it wasn’t approved by el Papa, good luck.

You can’t bring them anywhere without causing a scene.

CREDIT: @TuMadreKat / Twitter

At first, you were embarrassed, and now it just makes you smile. You never understood why she would get so angry with people in public until you became an adult. Now you know why she got so upset because some people are just, well, dumb.

You have no fighting chance against a mamá enojada.

CREDIT: @franchumble_ / Twitter

I mean, we tried. We really tried to stand up for ourselves but it was no use. We know better now and would never try such nonsense. It is still puzzling to us to see our non-Latino friends saying things to their mothers that would have gotten us slapped.

The only thing she needed to say to shut down all logic was this:

CREDIT: @killer_mugs / Twitter

Oh, and there were no rules. Just whims. Come home at 9 p.m. at any given night and it could be, “Am I supposed to wait up for you?” or “Wow, it’s so early, honey, get out of here. Have fun.”

You’re scarred from what therapists everywhere are calling ’emotional abuse.’

CREDIT: @heurMaggie / Twitter

Literally, our parents had it so easy. We know better now than to shame or threaten a kid for crying. However, back in the day, it was the best way to get us to quiet down so we didn’t cause scenes in front of her friends.

Your mom will call the police if you miss a call from her.

CREDIT: @Jayy2bomb / Twitter

Caption: “When I have a missed call from my mom these are the text messages I get”

It’s amazing how quickly they can turn any situation into a kidnapping. Like, we just want to be able to enjoy our lives without being yelled at or threatened.

Don’t expect to get brownie points with compliments.

CREDIT: @ericagerrcv23 / Twitter

Like, this was supposed to be an adult child bonding moment, mami. Instead, she was able to cut her child down to size like all of our parents do. We can feel the burn radiating through the image.

Your mom was never going to comfort you when you hurt yourself.

CREDIT: we are mitú

Never. If you got hurt, you better hope it was something that would heal fast and before she noticed. It’s still a mystery to many why getting hurt was something that would make mom so upset.

She saved you from endless illnesses by forcing you to wear socks.

CREDIT: @papermagazine / Twitter

Nothing will get you sicker than walking around the world barefoot. This is just a fact that everyone knows. Want to get sick? Be barefoot. Want to live to 120? Always wear socks inside.

Your mom never let you experience a chill. Not once in your life.

CREDIT: GIPHY

That’s why we want to cry when it reaches 60 degrees. No? Just me? Didn’t think so. It is the first step to prevent all preventable and incurable diseases, according to our moms.

Your mom taught you that if it doesn’t burn, it’s not working.

CREDIT: @SoFabby / Twitter

Doctors will tell you not to put VapoRub in your eyes, but our mamis swear it’s what Jesus used to heal the blind. Okay, that was too far. But this is the most versatile healing cream know the Latino-kind.

She also taught you to never, ever get bored.

CREDIT: Untitled. Digital Image. Latina. 9 April 2019.

We all learned how to look busy or stressed so that our mom’s wouldn’t tap us to pull hair out of our sister’s clogged drain. Oy.

She taught you that Saturday mornings are not for resting.

CREDIT: cleaning gif by spongebob squarepants / GIPHY

They’re for aggressively cleaning the house to the tune of whatever cumbia she wants. We’re all our mothers.

Our Latina moms taught us to treat every air plant like her own hijos.

CREDIT: Janet Marzouca / Facebook

Don’t ask me why, but all my tías come bearing air plants as gifts, whispering under their breath that they stole it from so-and-so’s yard.

Latina moms instill the most vivid imagination in their kids with their own childhood stories.

CREDIT: mask flirt gif / GIPHY

Yes to La Llorona and yes to all the Latin folklore. But also yes to witnessing UFO sightings above the Empire State Building and being Italian militiamen in past lives?

You probably had no say in your Halloween costume.

CREDIT: Janet Marzouca / Facebook

At least if you were a girl. I wanted to be Batman but my mom made me be a Flamenco dancer for four years in a row.

You know that this slipper could be used as a weapon at any given moment.

CREDIT: Pero Like / YouTube

But you also see this slipper and are having a major nostalgia moment, because only your Latina friends wore them. Miss you, the 90s, but glad we’re all grown up!

READ: 28 Dichos Your Mom Told You That Made You Need Therapy

These Shows And Movies Will Make You Feel Like A Superhero Just Because You’re Latino

Entertainment

These Shows And Movies Will Make You Feel Like A Superhero Just Because You’re Latino

The Gifted (TV Series) images The Gifted Season 1 - Marcos Diaz/Eclipse Official Picture HD

Growing up, we didn’t often see ourselves represented in superhero roles. It was always a white savior combatting a Latino drug lord or violent gang member. We often saw Latinas play the love interest trope, doing nothing meaningful except prop up that white savior’s ego.

A new era of POC empowerment has slowly started infiltrating Hollywood, and Netflix is probably the most progressively representative platform around. (Unless you know what they did to “One Day at a Time.”) If you’re going to Netflix and chill, you might as well subconsciously balloon with empowerment, no? These are the Latino-centered shows that will get you there.

“Marvel’s Runaways”

CREDIT: @Runaways_Fans / Twitter

This show tops our list because not only is the superhero gang majority female, it’s also majority POC. Of the three Latinos cast, two of them aren’t even presented as Latino characters, giving more normalized roles to Latino actors. Plus, we get to see Ariela Barer mind control a pet dinosaur. Sounds kooky, but the show writers are so good, it just makes sense.

Plus, the star Latina’s superpower is brute strength.

CREDIT: @AllegraAcosta / Twitter

Mexicana Allegra Acosta, who is just 16 years old by the way, plays Molly Hernandez. We see the whole troupe come to terms with their powers through her eyes. She was the first to realize she was different, and she spoke up, even though she was the youngest and most often condescended to.

Netflix’s “Umbrella Academy”

CREDIT: @ivonne_r1 / Twitter

Based off an alluring comic series of the same name, Netflix used the same premise: 43 women around the world spontaneously gave birth and an eccentric billionaire ‘adopted’ 7 of them to create a crime-fighting “Umbrella Academy.” Netflix makes it interesting by fast forwarding to their adult lives, and by casting hunky David Castañeda as Diego Hargreeves. Superpower? Holding his breath for an inhuman amount of time and superlative knife throwing abilities. We heart him.

FOX’s “The Gifted”

CREDIT: @TheGiftedonFOX / Twitter

This is just the casual tale of two parents realizing their children are mutants, so they join an underground community of mutants. Venezuelan actor Seane Teale plays a key role in leading the newcomers to a life of normalcy.

Superpowers: He can absorb and manipulate photons (i.e. light).

ABC’s “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D”

CREDIT: @IEarths / Twitter

That’s right. You’re looking at heartthrob Gabriel Luna starring in a Marvel adaption. In it, he plays Robbie Reyes, the Latinized version of the Ghost Rider. His performance will get your heart racing in all the ways.

The CW’s “The Flash”

CREDIT: @TWDMemesUK / Twitter

This “Arrows” spin-off had the second-most-watched premier in the history of The CW, after “The Vampire Diaries.” In it, we see co-star Candice Patton play the journalist that uncovers the identity of The Flash. She eventually takes on a leadership role with S.T.A.R. Labs and just overall slays.

Netflix’s “Iron Fist”

CREDIT: @TheFinalMan / Twitter

While we don’t see any headlining Latinos in this show, we see Bakuto played by Ramón Rodríguez, and the Internet is heart eyeing.

Caption: “Totally thought #IronFist was over @ 10 episodes… nope! The endgame for this season better be worth it. But at least this Bakuto guy is hot.”

Netflix’s “Daredevil”

CREDIT: @manwithoutfear / Twitter

Of course, this list wouldn’t be complete without the iconic cameo of Rosario Dawson as Claire Temple. Her superpower is being the go to Nurse Practitioner for all the superheroes in Marvel’s Universe.

Life lesson: everyone is your equal.

Netflix’s “Luke Cage”

CREDIT: @MCUExchange / Twitter

If you’re as obsessed with Rosario Dawson as we are, then you should watch her steam up her role in “Luke Cage.” We ship these two.

Netflix’s “Siempre Bruja”

CREDIT: @thegirlmob1 / Twitter

Colombian based “Siempre Bruja” gets it right and wrong in so many ways. Ultimately, we get to see an Afro-Latina claim her brujería to travel to the future to save the people she loves (even if that includes her slave master, ugh).

Netflix’s “La Reina del Flow”

CREDIT: Netflix

Prepare yourself for a telenovela to end all novelas. No, Yeimy Montoya is not a superhero, but her character will inspire you to overcome all obstacles. After she’s framed for drug trafficking by her first love as a teenager, she comes back as an undercover agent to undermine Charly Cruz’s life. We stan.

Netflix’s “Pelé: Birth of a Legend”

CREDIT: Netflix

If true stories are what really make you feel empowered, then this reenactment of Brazil’s Pelé story will get you good. He went from rags to winning Brazil’s first World Cup victory at the age of 17. You can win, too.

“Desierto”

CREDIT: Netflix

Today’s immigration rights crisis is devastating. Gael García Bernal’s role as a Mexican man trying to cross the border will make you root harder than ever before for migrant victories.

Netflix’s “Ingobernable”

CREDIT: Netflix

If you’ve heard of this show and still haven’t been floored by Kate del Castillo’s performance, this is your sign from god. Watch this if you’re in a toxic relationship that you need the courage to leave. At least your boo isn’t a corrupt President.

The CW’s “Jane the Virgin”

CREDIT: The CW

Gina Rodriguez’s role in the Americanized telenovela “Jane the Virgin” will help you realize that whatever bump you’ve encountered in this life might be the start of something beautiful. This is a feel-good show, no doubt, but you’ll also start to feel like you can do anything, mija.

The CW’s “Riverdale”

CREDIT: The CW

While the Latino family in this show are dirty rich, the heiress to the Lodge empire is pure of heart. Watch Veronica Lodge cleverly go up against a very twisted power struggle father-mija relationship to save Riverdale.

ABC’s “How to Get Away With Murder”

CREDIT: @KarlaSouza7 / Twitter

Mexican icon Karla Souza’s superpower in this show is pure ingenuity. She plays a lawyer that seems to know how to work the legal system to her advantage. It gets gooooood.

ABC’s “Grey’s Anatomy”

CREDIT: Netflix

You weren’t expecting doctor or lawyer shows to make this list, but we’re all chasing a feeling here. Seeing Sara Ramirez play bisexual Callie Torres as she goes up against her Catholic father with all the emotional strength and resilience we yearn for is contagious. You want these cooties.

“The Fast and the Furious”

CREDIT: @gucciartx / Twitter

My gay self needs Michelle Rodriguez here. Even though she isn’t a ‘good guy,’ we all want to be here. Use her badassery powers for good, mi gente.

Netflix’s “One Day at a Time”

CREDIT: Netflix

The best superhero show of all is the recently canceled “One Day at a Time.” Why? We get to see the most modern Cuban family simply be themselves and that cultural mirroring will reaffirm your very remnant-loving Latino soul. #SaveODAAT!!!

READ: Netflix Canceled ‘One Day At A Time’ And Fans Are Livid With The Network’s Decision

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