The Factual Reason Why Latinos Just Won’t Diet
Who wants to starve themselves in the name of vanity? For those who do, kudos. For the rest of us, you know that these excuses are anything but excuses – they’re real life facts.
Breakfast gets in the way of my diet.
I mean, it is the most important meal of the day.
I diet on my own terms.
Lemon, lettuce, radish and onion are all veggies.
I’m trying this new liquid diet.
It’s basically a smoothie.
You can’t start a diet on a Friday or Monday. It’s too stressful.
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And starting a diet on a Wednesday doesn’t make sense.
I’m going to abuelita’s today. I can’t say “no” to her food.
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Plus, even she’s against diets.
You just can’t say no to her.
I’ll start after I have one of these…
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Just one and they have fewer calories than a donut?
Every time I go to mom’s, she greets me like this:
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Technically it’s mostly protein anyway.
Three words: Arroz con Leche.
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I can’t break up with my one true love.
Tamale season is coming up and I can’t offend. #latinoproblems
Abuelita: ¿Cuantos tamales quieres?
Abuelita: *makes 200*
How can you diet when mami makes this?
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#thanksgivinglatino #pavollanero by @pancho_60 #sweetpotato by @mariacelesterl #arrozconalmendra #cubanpork by @luisramireznoriega #peppersalmon by ME ! Postre: Buchannan's y soufle de chocolate by @macoramirez #happythanksgiving
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No. You can’t, just like I can’t. #sorrynotsorry
Because “You can’t get up until you finish everything on your plate.” – Every Latino parent ever.
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Mami: You aren’t going anywhere until your plate is empty.
There’s a family birthday party four weekends out of the month.
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All of them include taqueros.
Abuelita: Come poquito más. Ándale, solo una mordida más.
^^That’s how I look every time I have dinner at abuelita’s house.
I don’t even know how to make healthy chiles rellenos.
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And, to be perfectly honest, I don’t even want to learn.