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The Factual Reason Why Latinos Just Won’t Diet

Who wants to starve themselves in the name of vanity? For those who do, kudos. For the rest of us, you know that these excuses are anything but excuses – they’re real life facts.

Breakfast gets in the way of my diet.


I mean, it is the most important meal of the day.

I diet on my own terms.

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Lemon, lettuce, radish and onion are all veggies.

I’m trying this new liquid diet.


It’s basically a smoothie.

You can’t start a diet on a Friday or Monday. It’s too stressful.

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And starting a diet on a Wednesday doesn’t make sense.

I’m going to abuelita’s today. I can’t say “no” to her food.

Plus, even she’s against diets.


You just can’t say no to her.

I’ll start after I have one of these…

Just one and they have fewer calories than a donut?

READ: Proof that Latinos Don’t Play When It Comes to Cakes

Every time I go to mom’s, she greets me like this:

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Technically it’s mostly protein anyway.

Three words: Arroz con Leche.

I can’t break up with my one true love.

Tamale season is coming up and I can’t offend. #latinoproblems

Abuelita: ¿Cuantos tamales quieres?

Me: Three!

Abuelita: *makes 200*

How can you diet when mami makes this?

No. You can’t, just like I can’t. #sorrynotsorry

Because “You can’t get up until you finish everything on your plate.” – Every Latino parent ever.

Our eyes MIGHT be bigger than our tummies #finishyourplate #jk

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Mami: You aren’t going anywhere until your plate is empty.


READ: If You Can Finish a 30-Pound Burrito, This Restaurant Will Make You Part Owner

There’s a family birthday party four weekends out of the month.

@pachasburger #Cumpleaños #bendiciones

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All of them include taqueros.

Abuelita: Come poquito más. Ándale, solo una mordida más.

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^^That’s how I look every time I have dinner at abuelita’s house.

I don’t even know how to make healthy chiles rellenos.

#chilesrellenos #fiestamexicana #precumplesis ?

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And, to be perfectly honest, I don’t even want to learn.

Show me a Latino who is dieting and I will show you a very sad person.

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