The Factual Reason Why Latinos Just Won’t Diet

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Who wants to starve themselves in the name of vanity? For those who do, kudos. For the rest of us, you know that these excuses are anything but excuses – they’re real life facts.

Breakfast gets in the way of my diet.


I mean, it is the most important meal of the day.

I diet on my own terms.

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Lemon, lettuce, radish and onion are all veggies.

I’m trying this new liquid diet.


It’s basically a smoothie.

You can’t start a diet on a Friday or Monday. It’s too stressful.

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And starting a diet on a Wednesday doesn’t make sense.

I’m going to abuelita’s today. I can’t say “no” to her food.

Plus, even she’s against diets.


You just can’t say no to her.

I’ll start after I have one of these…

Just one and they have fewer calories than a donut?

READ: Proof that Latinos Don’t Play When It Comes to Cakes

Every time I go to mom’s, she greets me like this:

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Technically it’s mostly protein anyway.

Three words: Arroz con Leche.

I can’t break up with my one true love.

Tamale season is coming up and I can’t offend. #latinoproblems


Abuelita: ¿Cuantos tamales quieres?

Me: Three!

Abuelita: *makes 200*

How can you diet when mami makes this?

No. You can’t, just like I can’t. #sorrynotsorry

Because “You can’t get up until you finish everything on your plate.” – Every Latino parent ever.

Our eyes MIGHT be bigger than our tummies #finishyourplate #jk

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Mami: You aren’t going anywhere until your plate is empty.

READ: If You Can Finish a 30-Pound Burrito, This Restaurant Will Make You Part Owner

There’s a family birthday party four weekends out of the month.

@pachasburger #Cumpleaños #bendiciones

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All of them include taqueros.

Abuelita: Come poquito más. Ándale, solo una mordida más.

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^^That’s how I look every time I have dinner at abuelita’s house.

I don’t even know how to make healthy chiles rellenos.

#chilesrellenos #fiestamexicana #precumplesis ?

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And, to be perfectly honest, I don’t even want to learn.

Show me a Latino who is dieting and I will show you a very sad person.

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