Who wants to starve themselves in the name of vanity? For those who do, kudos. For the rest of us, you know that these excuses are anything but excuses – they’re real life facts.
Breakfast gets in the way of my diet.
I mean, it is the most important meal of the day.
I diet on my own terms.
Lemon, lettuce, radish and onion are all veggies.
I’m trying this new liquid diet.
It’s basically a smoothie.
You can’t start a diet on a Friday or Monday. It’s too stressful.
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And starting a diet on a Wednesday doesn’t make sense.
I’m going to abuelita’s today. I can’t say “no” to her food.
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Plus, even she’s against diets.
You just can’t say no to her.
I’ll start after I have one of these…
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Just one and they have fewer calories than a donut?
Every time I go to mom’s, she greets me like this:
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Technically it’s mostly protein anyway.
Three words: Arroz con Leche.
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I can’t break up with my one true love.
Tamale season is coming up and I can’t offend. #latinoproblems
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Abuelita: ¿Cuantos tamales quieres?
Abuelita: *makes 200*
How can you diet when mami makes this?
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No. You can’t, just like I can’t. #sorrynotsorry
Because “You can’t get up until you finish everything on your plate.” – Every Latino parent ever.
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Mami: You aren’t going anywhere until your plate is empty.
There’s a family birthday party four weekends out of the month.
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All of them include taqueros.
Abuelita: Come poquito más. Ándale, solo una mordida más.
^^That’s how I look every time I have dinner at abuelita’s house.
I don’t even know how to make healthy chiles rellenos.
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And, to be perfectly honest, I don’t even want to learn.