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11 Things That Give You Instant Regret After Having Sex

Credit: Nickelodeon

Sex: everyone seems to either be having it, wanting to have it or at the very least singing about it (emiright or am I right?). But before you jump into the deep waters of the sex, make sure you’re actually ready for it. Here’s a straightforward list of signs you are NOT.

You think you know what STD stands for.

STD

Okay, baby steps. Start by reading this.

You might as well join EVERYONE else who’s doing it.

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I mean who cares about individuality or personal desires, right?

You haven’t thought about contraception.

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And no, that’s not the name of a movie.

Your boyfriend / girlfriend has threatened to leave you if you don’t it.

FELICIA

Seriously, mándalo a la fregada.

The thought of sex makes you hyperventilate.

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If it makes you wheezy, you’re not ready.

You don’t trust your partner.

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Tip: Sex with this person would be a terrible idea.

You have fairytale expectations.

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Rose petals, romantic music, candle lit room and a meteor shower to top it all. -Good luck.-

Having sex goes against your beliefs.

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Stand strong by your beliefs.

You’re definitely not emotionally ready.

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If you’re crying over making this decision, then they are not tears of joy.

You haven’t given yourself an orgasm.

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Not to worry you partner is a master sensei that knows it all. Please note the sarcasm.

Respect is a foreign term in your relationship.

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Umm… Bye.

READ: 11 Latina Sexpectations The World Expects Us To Live Up To

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11 Things Every Unmarried Latina Over 25 Has Heard

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11 Things Every Unmarried Latina Over 25 Has Heard

Credit: Lo Que La Vida Me Robó / Televisa / Memegenerator

As if dealing with the *sometimes* lonely days of single hood isn’t depressing enough, mami has her not-so-subtle ways of reminding you you’re the only one in la familia entera who hasn’t been able to score a life partner.

“I’m not going to be able to die in peace knowing no one will take care of you.”

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She’s only 45. Eye roll.

“Tu prima Ana, remember the one you used to babysit? She’s getting married next week.”

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Ok mom, so let’s not focus on the fact that I have a career and a house under my name and she… Well, I’m not going to throw her under the bus.

“Where did I fail, mija? Dime, qué hice mal?!”

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CREDIT: Kyon / MEMEGEN.ES

Umm… What do you mean? Look at me, I’m flaw-less.

“I guess I should give your Christening outfit away to charity at this point.”

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Go ahead, no kid of mine will ever wear that.

“Mija, you really have to check that genio, you’re scaring guys away.”

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Dad seems to be dealing with your genio just fine.

“What do you think about a singles’ cruise for Christmas?”

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Cruise? Someone might accidentally go overboard.

“Yo le hablé al padre, he’s looking into nice suitors for you.”

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I finally have an excuse to stop showing my face at Sunday mass again.

“You know how God feels about unmarried people.”

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Of all the things that God has to worry about, I’m sure his priority list goes:

Isis

World Hunger

Me not being married

“Yo ya no se qué decirle a mis amigas.”

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Seriously, my singleness is the only topic of conversation you guys have? That’s how you know the telenovela isn’t lit. You’re talking about me.

“I always wanted to be a grandmother. I can kiss that dream adios.”

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Really mom, how many more do you need?

“Do you hate men that much or are you just trying to punish me?”

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Yeah mom, I am purposely staying single just to make you miserable.

WATCH: A Complete List Of Voicemails We’ve Received From Mom

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