Culture

11 Ways To Get A Cuban To Love You Forever

Instagram / @sierrasuggs

Ok, let’s say you’re trying to woo a Cuban. First off: Congratulations. You have excellent taste. Second, while we’re not all the same, there are definitely a few things that unite all Cubans, especially when it comes to winning our hearts. We’re here to help you figure that out so, let’s get to it:

Pastelitos de guayaba.

Screen Shot 2016-03-07 at 12.10.41 PM
Credit:  Instagram / @miamando

There are few things in this world more beautiful than a pastelito de guayaba. And when it comes to romance, a really good pastelito — perfectly flaky on the outside, gooey on the inside — will beat out a box of chocolates every time.

A Cuban sandwich, properly made.

13931227870_0e02f601ff_o
Credit: Flickr Creative Commons / jeffreyw

The “properly made” part is key here. For some reason, people love to remix Cuban sandwiches in truly absurd and sometimes downright horrifying ways. (Just today I saw an image of a Cuban sandwich that contained lettuce and, reader, I nearly fainted.) Why mess with a classic? Leave off the chipotle mayo. Throw the braised, pork-kissed kale compote or whatever right into the trash. Just give us a perfectly-pressed combination of pork, ham, mustard, pickles, and swiss cheese on Cuban bread. That’s what love tastes like.

Chisme.

CHISME
Credit: MakeAGif

True, lots of different people love chisme, but for Cubans, it’s a WAY OF LIFE. Bring us the gift of good chisme and we are yours forever.

Really, really good coffee.

Pouring a Cafe Cubano at Versailles, Miami, FL
Credit: Flickr Creative Commons / vxla

We’re not talking about the lukewarm, bean-kissed tears most people call coffee. We mean good, strong Cuban coffee. Caliente, amargo, espeso y fuerte. The kind you only need a teeny tiny little cup for, or else you’ll literally die.

Keeping the Scarface jokes to a minimum.

tumblr_ncetk8tMPA1tl7elpo1_500
Credit: Universal Pictures / NeoGAF

Look, we’re never going to stop people from quoting this movie. Tony Montana is probably the most famous fictional-Cuban-played-by-a-New-York-Italian-dude of all time. So let’s just space the quotes far apart. Maybe we can all agree not to shout “say hello to my little friend” during hookups? Is everyone cool with that?

The scent of violetas.

Screen Shot 2016-03-07 at 2.38.40 PM
Credit: Instagram / @sierrasuggs

Every (ok, most) Cuban children grew up smelling like they rolled around in a field of violets. For to many of us, that scent is one of nostalgia, harkening back to a simpler, better-smelling time before things like nervous sweat attacks and Axe body spray.

Not asking us when we’re going “back to” Cuba.

tumblr_n0fo0c3kSu1qdrcyyo1_500
Credit: NBC / Tumblr

Not only are there those among us who have never set foot in Cuba, but this is a fraught and sometimes pretty personal question in general. I mean, it’s not the end of the world, but now things are awkward between us. Nothing more pastelitos can’t take care of, but still.

Understanding what we mean when we talk with our hands.

anigif_enhanced-16619-1430956776-15
Credit: PBS / USAHavana on YouTube

Shaking hands up and down can mean “ya se formó” or “I’m so excited” or “my little brother is gonna get in trouble for something I did! Yaaas.” It is important to use context clues to know which one applies. Communication is key!

…And our chins.

a96cbe2f4a5ba3f35c8db0f57579595c
Credit: PBS / USAHavana on YouTube

What can I say. We’re an expressive people, man.

A cookie tin that actually contains cookies.

Screen Shot 2016-03-07 at 2.43.39 PM
Credit: Instagram / @tenderblenderfd

Life is all about little surprises, those tiny moments that brighten our days and keep us going. You know, like opening a tin of cookies (the blue one, always) and finding that it ACTUALLY has cookies inside instead of sewing supplies. If you present us with cookies, you have a fan for life.

Croquetas.

anigif_original-18570-1455756476-12
Credit: YouTube / Víctor Muñoz

OK, YES, A LOT OF THESE ARE FOOD-RELATED. But it’s true that the way to someone’s heart is through the stomach, especially after standing at a little ventanita to order freshly-made croquetas from a woman who calls you “mija/o” and “mi amor.” ?

Hope these tips help. Good luck out there, kiddos!

giphy
Credit: NBC / Giphy

WATCH: Have You Heard Fred Armisen and Horatio Sanz Do Cuban Accents? Here’s Your Chance

Want more great stuff for Cubanazos and other Latinos? Ok, good. Click below to like our Facebook page!

Artists Open Cuba’s First Ever Sex Store, But It Won’t Last Long

Things That Matter

Artists Open Cuba’s First Ever Sex Store, But It Won’t Last Long

Cuba has come a long way since the communist rule of Fidel Castro. A lot of restrictions have been lifted including travel from the U.S. to the island (despite some Trump-era issues). Yet, there’s still a lot that the government there forbids including some luxuries that we can easily buy anytime we please.

Cuba forbids the sale of any obscene items, which means there are no sex shops until now.

Credit: consolezvous1 / Instagram

In New York, there are sex shops in every neighborhood. Even in the Bible belt, you can score sex toys at Adam & Eve, but in Cuba, it’s a whole different story. The island does not give out licenses or permits to vendors who sell anything sexual related. If you want a dildo, you have to sneak it into the country in your suitcase — that’s what the New York Post is reporting.

A group of artists successfully opened a sex pop-up store called “Consolez Vous” because technically it is “art” and not a typical business.

Credit: consolezvous1 / Instagram

Yanahara Mauri, Javier Alejandro Bobadilla, and Joan Díaz sought out to open a pop-up sex shop at this year’s Havana Biennial and to their surprise were approved.

“We want to break the taboos,” Mauri told the Post. “In the rest of the world, this is normal now.”

The group creates the sex toys in Cuba and use resources such as “entwined fish line for whips and resin for dildos.”

Credit: consolezvous1 / Instagram

While demand continues to increase, according to the publication, some customers have complained that their sex toys aren’t as smooth as the silicone products that are sold everywhere else.

“At the end of the day, we are not harming anyone,” Ernesto said. “On the contrary, we are giving people benefits.”

The sex shop might be a pop-up but a lot of people are hoping they could become a regular occurrence on the island.

Credit: consolezvous1 / Instagram

What do you think about this pop up shop? Let us know your thoughts by commenting on the Facebook post.

READ: Here’s How Cuba’s Tumultuous History Forced A Cuban Diaspora That Changed The World

The New York Times Sparked A War Over The Home Of The Cuban Sandwich And Here’s How People From Miami And Tampa Are Acting

Culture

The New York Times Sparked A War Over The Home Of The Cuban Sandwich And Here’s How People From Miami And Tampa Are Acting

@everreadytravel / Instagram

The Cuban sandwich is one of the most iconic foods in Latino culture and its history, while documented, is hotly contested. Both Miami and Tampa proudly claim to be the home of the Cuban sandwich everyone knows and loves today. The New York Times, maybe accidentally, reignited the debate over the Cuban sandwich’s home with their crossword puzzle and now there’s a war raging in Florida.

The New York Times asked crossword puzzle players to name the home of the Cuban sandwich.

Credit: @NYTimesWordplay / Twitter

While people consider Miami the home because of the well-known Cuban community, the answer was Tampa. Of course, Miamians got upset and took to Twitter to let the world know that they believe the Cuban sandwich is from Miami.

The City of Miami’s Twitter page decided to fire the first shot in the social media debate.

That’s a really big claim considering that the Cuban sandwich did not in fact start in Miami. Sorry about it, bro.

Obviously, the City of Tampa had to get involved to let Miami know that they are watching.

It is kind of satisfying to watch two Florida cities warring over who started the Cuban sandwich. While both claim to be the home of the Cuban sandwich, it is important to understand how the Cuban population moved within the state.

The City of Tampa even came through with an informative video showing how the Cuban sandwich shows the diversity of the Ybor neighborhood.

The video breaks down all of the ingredients in the Cuban sandwich and how they represent all of the communities that called Ybor City home. The melting pot of cultures led to an influx in various immigrants calling Ybor City home. Ybor City is a cigar manufacturing neighborhood built by Cuban, Spanish, and Italian immigrants.

Other Twitter users injected themselves into the debate.

Credit: @C47 / Twitter

Let’s go ahead and lay out one thing. Miami is not the home to the Cuban sandwich. The sooner we all accept that fact, the better our society will be. The Cuban sandwich first documented appearance was in Tampa in the 1880s in workers’ cafés. There was a migration of Cuban people to Tampa to work in the cigar industry.

A few people took a stand for Tampa as the home of the Cuban sandwich and they aren’t wrong.

Credit: @keith_browning / Twitter

Clearly, the first Cuban sandwich started in Cuba with the indigenous Taíno people. From there, it made its way to Florida because travel between Cuba and Florida was easy in the 1800s as the tobacco and cigar industry grew. Tampa became a major location for the cigar industry in the 1880s and it wasn’t long until the city was home to a large Cuban population.

People were really eager to make everyone know that Tampa is where the Cuban sandwich came from.

Credit: @Scottyyz / Twitter

As part of defending their city’s honor, some Twitter users have taken to dragging Miami. Miami might be the epicenter of all thing Cuban and Cuban-American now but that was not the case when the Cuban sandwich came to life. Believe it or not, there was a time in history when the larger Cuban community of Florida was in Tampa.

Yet, despite the facts, some people still claim that Tampa is not where the Cuban sandwich originated.

Credit: @MrBravoJr / Twitter

Miami is literally filled with Cuban sandwiches. You can’t go anywhere in that city without a chance to get your hands on a delicious and savory piece of Cuban history. However, quantity does not mean that Miami is the home and originator of the Cuban sandwich. That is a fact. We will even go so far to say that not even Tampa is the true home of the Cuban sandwich.

However, we’d like to bring one more city to the fight: Key West.

Credit: @CJintheKeys / Twitter

That’s right. Before Tampa became the destination for Cuban immigrants and workers, Key West was home to the cigar industry. Thousands of Cubans worked in Key West because it is the closest U.S. city to Cuba. As such, a lot of Cuban culture has made its way to the U.S. by way of Key West.

Basically, Tampa and Miami have had an ongoing feud over who created the Cuban sandwich when the real creator of the delicious meal has been Key West all along.

Key West might not have documented the existence of the Cuban sandwich but there is no doubt that the city brought the sandwich to the U.S. Much like the sloppy joe, Key West was a place where Cuban people and foods have entered the U.S. for centuries and has received little to no credit for its importance for the Cuban community.

The Cuban tobacco industry first made the jump from Cuba to the U.S. in Key West. The small city at the tip of the islands between the Florida mainland and Cuban is a humble one filled with historic and important moments in Cuban culinary history.

So, while The New York Times might have Miami and Tampa feuding, Key West is being the bigger city and quietly knowing they are the true home to the Cuban sandwich.

The sandwich, which was a fast and affordable lunch for tobacco workers, is one that has become a defining example of Cuban culture. No matter where you find a Cuban, there are six main ingredients to ensure the best recipe. It’s all about the bread, ham, roast pork, mustard, Swiss cheese, and pickles. You don’t have to know the history of the Cuban sandwich to enjoy it, but it helps.

READ: Check Out These Croqueta Recipes If You Need Some Good Cuban Comfort Food

Paid Promoted Stories