identity

11 Latina Sexpectations The World Expects Us To Live Up To

Credit: @eizagonzalez / Instagram

We are the sexiest women ever to walk the face of the earth. We’re always dolled up and done up like Sofía Vergara, Eva Longoria and, of course, Jennifer Lopez. Just like them, we drip sexuality. WRONG! Yes, we’re beautiful and sexy, but these sexy stereotypes are not a reflection of our state of being 24/7. Guys, you can stop expecting all this from us…

We’re exotic.

large

Like some wild, undiscovered jungle animal. Yeah, just like that.

Yes. The answer is always yes.

tumblr_nj6dk8uFlC1s2ypwgo1_250
Credit: karlaxmena / Tumblr

Sorry to burst your bubble, we’re not a sex machine ready to go on command. We go when we’re ready to go.

We’re hypersexual.

CREDIT: http://gifsforgomez.tumblr.com

Because we don’t already have enough on our mind like school, work, friends, family, exercise.

We’re submissive.

tumblr_nmq4jvfVWa1s5e5bko1_500

Boy please, my mind is stronger than any one of your muscles…including that little one you have down there.

Or we’re dominant and our only mission in life is to please you in bed.

tumblr_n7yi3i954y1t5c9i8o1_500

How about we’re trying to dominate the world.

READ: Expectations Guys Have of Their Latina GFs

We’ll speak Spanish to you in bed.

tumblr_nxmfncxNQM1qahndoo1_400

As long as you talk dirty to us in the perfect Italian you must’ve learned from your Sicilian grandfather, you’ve got a deal.

38-28-39

Because plastic surgery is where half of our salaries goes; to nip, tuck, suck and stitch everything perfectly. Got better things to spend my hard-earned paper on.

We’re ultra-feminine and delicate.

There’s no such thing as gay Latinas.

481915

And we like our guys macho, bien machos!

This is how we dress on the daily…

READ: 11 Times The Latino Parent Sex Talk Failed

We don’t take birth control.

tumblr_nylrp7NLeZ1r2ufrro1_500

Yeah, because we’re ready to put our careers, and everything else we worked so hard for, on hold just to make pequeñitos whenever you want them.

Raise your hand and click the share button if you’re tired of these ridiculous Latina sexpectations.

Valentine Day Pick-Up Lines That Will Only Work On Latinos

Identity

Valentine Day Pick-Up Lines That Will Only Work On Latinos

We have the perfect card for every kind of lover in your life.

For that lady who shot right through your heart with an arrow.

SAN VALENTIN 10
Credit: Sayuri Jiménez

I won the lotería when I got you.

Forget media naranja, this one’s for the chile to your limón.

SAN VALENTIN 11
Credit: Sayuri Jiménez

Your love burns, sometimes hurts, but I’m still addicted to you.

Here’s to your sweet & spicy Valentine.

SAN VALENTIN 3
Credit: Sayuri Jiménez

Without you, I always feel like there’s something missing… Just like with chile.

To that one you’re trying to drop hints to.

SAN VALENTIN 12
Credit: Sayuri Jiménez

Because there’s nothing wrong with a classic pick-up line.

READ: Latino Relationship Goals vs. Reality

Para el que no te pela.

SAN VALENTIN 4
Credit: Sayuri Jiménez

For sure la reina del friend-zone would love this.

Or the one that got away.

SAN VALENTIN 15
Credit: Sayuri Jiménez

You know, the one you drunk-dial after a few shots of tequila.

For the f*ck boy in your life.

SAN VALENTIN 5
Credit: Sayuri Jiménez

Also known as la rata inmunda.

READ: Is Your Relationship at the “Can I Pop Your Zit” Stage?

To the one who always answers your late-night calls.

SAN VALENTIN 9
Credit: Sayuri Jiménez

??

For that woman who has no flaws in your eyes.

SAN VALENTIN 16
Credit: Sayuri Jiménez

Every time you look at her, it’s like ?.

This one’s for the one who makes you feel good inside and out ?.

SAN VALENTIN 8
Credit: Sayuri Jiménez

Aka, the best part.

For the one you like… But isn’t worth your time.

SAN VALENTIN 6
Credit: Sayuri Jiménez

The one you love for have inside… their bank account.

READ: Old-Fashioned Latino Dating Rules People Should Followed

This one’s perfect for your side chic or sancho.

SAN VALENTIN 19
Credit: Sayuri Jiménez

Or gay lover.

This is perfect for that asshole who was a waste of time.

SAN VALENTIN 2
Credit: Sayuri Jiménez

*You can bidi bidi bom bom out of my life* ??

READ: Quiz: If You Were a Selena Song, Which Would You Be?

For those who are still trying to get over their ex.

SAN VALENTIN 17
Credit: Sayuri Jiménez

#SheMovedOn

These are the words you always dedicated to your love.

SAN VALENTIN 14
Credit: Sayuri Jiménez

Chente always comes through with the perfect lyrics.

For that sweet love of your life.

SAN VALENTIN 13
Credit: Sayuri Jiménez

When you’re in love, but you’re also hungry.

This goes to that special someone you want to want to protect for the rest of your life ?.

SAN VALENTIN 7
Credit: Sayuri Jiménez

For. The. Win.

Don’t forget to click the share button to spread the love. 

Paid Promoted Stories