The 9 Most Ridiculous Myths My Abuelita Swears By

LeJuan James / YouTube

I love my abuelita with all my heart, and I know she always has my best interest in mind. But now that I’m older, I’ve realized some of the lessons I’ve grown up hearing don’t really make much sense…

You’ll see what I mean:

1. Your hair will fall off if you go to sleep with it wet.

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“Después cuando estes calva, no vengas a llorar aquí.”  You’ve been warned, I guess?

2. Walking outside with wet hair will give you pneumonia.

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*Gasp* “¿¡Vas a salir con el pelo mojado?!” Basically, wet hair will destroy your entire life.

3. If you’re out after dusk without a scarf covering your nose, you will get sick.

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“Ponte la bufanda.”  Ain’t nobody got time for that.

4. Feel cold? It means you have low blood sugar.

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“Cómete un dulce. Tienes frío porque esta bajo en calorías.” I mean, sure. Any excuse for sweets.

5. Walking barefoot gives you tummy aches.

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“Ve, por no ponerte zapatos.” Science.

6. Your stomach hurts because you’re hungry.

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“Cómete un pan.” Yeah, this stomach ache is definitely from eating too little and NOT because I just had three servings of cake.

7. Don’t leave the house on Good Friday, or the Devil will get you.

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“¡El Diablo está afuera!” You sure he doesn’t have somewhere more important to be?

8. If you don’t sleep under the covers, you’ll get sick.

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“Debajo del cobija de lana.” Okaaaaay.

And finally…

9. Vicks Vaporub literally cures everything

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“Ponte vivaporu!” Ok, so maybe this one’s a little bit true.

Read: 7 Home Remedies From My Colombian Abuelita (That Actually Work)

Does your abuela have any hilarious myths that she lives by?  We want to hear them! Comment them below.

16 Life Lessons I Could Only Learn From Telenovelas


16 Life Lessons I Could Only Learn From Telenovelas

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When you grow up addicted to novelas, you pick up valuable lessons that can be applied to your daily life.

1. You (probably) have a long-lost twin you don’t know about.

It’s safer to just assume that so there aren’t any heart-attack-inducing surprises.

2. And that twin is probably an evil twin who might want to kill you.

Unless of course, you’re the evil one. #cuidaoooo ?

3. Step siblings, and sometimes full siblings, are also the definition of evil.

CREDIT: Luz Clarita / Televisa / soypako.tumblr.com
CREDIT: Luz Clarita / Televisa / soypako / Tumblr

Just like Cinderella, minus the talking rats. They’re just regular rats.

4. But you can solve any problem in life with just a little push…

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CREDIT: Triunfo del Amor / Televisa / Forgifs

Into a pool, down the stairs, from a building.

5. Novelas taught us the recipe to get away with murder.

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Credit: La Ursurpadora / Televisa

Main ingredients: a hot fire and a cold af heart.

6. If you want to be rich, you must first be super poor.

Because there’s no in between.

7. And when it happens, you’ll turn into a cartoon-style rich bro with crazy behavior.

…Or “Trump” for short.

8. Your sister might be your mom.

A photo posted by www.entodo.net (@entodonet) on

Plot twist!

9. You learned how to determine a woman’s age by the size of her hair.

The bigger the hair, the closer to heaven… time-wise.

10. On occasion, school uniforms are sexier than everyday attire.

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Especially for grown adults.

11. How to wake up like this.

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Step 1: Pretend it is your wedding day.

Step 2: Get your makeup professionally done.

Step 3: Knock tf out.

12. Amnesia is possible at any moment, and it’s the only way to forget all the baggage in your life.

Thank god because therapy is expensive, yo.

13. If you slap him, he’ll fall in love with you.*

*Warning: Try this at your own risk.

14. Your pool guy can totally be a model.

…But chooses not to. Why cash in on those rock-hard abs and live a lavish lifestyle when he can be closer to whichever rich estate family member he’s in love with at the moment?

15. It’s very possible that your lover is your brother.

So to be sure, stay single at all times all your life. (um…check)

16. The older and more evil you are, the more makeup you have to wear.

70 year old woman with a vengeance or RuPaul mentee? We will never know.

And if any of these lessons for some weird reason don’t work in your life, that’s on you, bro.

CREDIT: Jane the Virgin / ABC / al3xism11song.tumblr.com / Giphy CREDIT: Jane the Virgin / ABC / al3xism11song.tumblr.com / Giphy

READ: 15 Times Telenovelas Had The Best Responses To Everyday Life

What did you learn from telenovelas? Let us know when you share this post.

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